Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter fifty-one*

"This is going to be a little cold." The nurse said as she opened the bottle.

Today was our first appointment, and I think the anxiety from both of us was skyrocketing. I know mine was at the very least. Paul as usual was playing cool, he was smiling and supportive, but the second we'd break eye contact I would watch his face drop. The look of thinking would come across his face, and while he opted not to share his thoughts with me I knew very well that they were likely similar to mine. This wasn't a time for us to be anxious, we were supposed to be happy and excited for the new arrival coming in just 7 months, and we were - but it was nerve racking realizing how illprepared we were for this.

Paul was still working at the garage, but still only part time. The Cullens wouldn't be leaving Forks and there was a cloud that hung over the pack nervous about the possibility of anymore issues arising. I just started a job working part time at a book store just past the edge of the reservation, thanks to Sue, butbetween the morning sickness and fatigue my first week of work had been hell. We didn't have anything for a baby, we never even talked about having children together. Sure I'd thought about it, I'd imagined a tiny Paul running around, but it was never serious. And yet, here I was laying half naked on a table, talking to a nurse about ovulation dates, and period dates, and symptoms.

She moved the machine head around on my stomach, slowly and with a little bit of force. Paul's eyes were fixated on the screen trying to make sense out the image that was showing but I could tell by his eyes he couldn't make out much. Staring at the screen myself, I wasn't able to see anything either.

"Is...is everything okay?" I asked softly feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"Sometimes it's still too early to see through this kind of ultrasound. I think if we do a vaginal one we'll be able to get a better picture." The nurse replied with a smile.

Her confidence reassured me, I could feel myself gripping into Paul's hand for dear life but couldn't do anything but lay there and worry. I stared as the ceiling as she began moving around more, grabbing some sort of plastic cover and sliding it over the new machine I could feel my eyes go wide.

"This may be a little cold too. You're going to feel some pressure internally, if it hurts let me know. What this is going to do is give us better access to see your uterus, as well as help measure the baby, and help us hear the heartbeat."

I nodded at her and looked up at Paul. Unable to read the look on his face, his jaw was tight but it wasn't in an angry way. His eyes still hadn't left the screen. She put the machine inside of me making me flinch, it didn't hurt but it was uncomfortable. I could feel as she moved it around, rotating it to look at...well everything it felt like. And I continued to stare at the ceiling, trying to hold back tears and my anxiety began to completely take over my body.

"There we go." She said happily, and my head snapped to the screen. It looked like a little blob, if I'm being honest. I could sort of make out the head, and what I assumed was going to be the arms and legs. The picture wasn't incredibly clear, but there it was - our baby. Pressing a few buttons we could hear the heartbeat, it was fast and she told us it was strong. Paul's face grew into huge smile and he looked down at me with the gentlest eyes. I couldn't help but smile too, I could feel a tear slip down my cheek from all the happiness I was feeling in that moment. Everything was good, I was healthy, Wolfie was healthy, and now, no matter how unprepared I felt for this, I knew no matter what happened I would do everything in my power to protect this little one. They would never know how cruel the world could really be, how heartbreaking mean words could be, they'd never know an unkind hand if I had a say in it, and they would never feel like they weren't good enough for this world.

We headed to the car, ultrasound pictures in my hand and I couldn't stop looking at them. It made it real, it made my heart so unbelievably happy. There was a time when I couldn't imagine ever having kids, but here I was, here we were.

"You okay baby?" Paul asked noticing my sniffles and tears.

"I'm..I'm good." I replied wiping the tears off my face.

Paul looked at me confused and then turned his head back to the road. He moved his hand to rest on my thigh, rubbing it reassuringly.

"There happy tears Paul."

He just nodded and didn't move his hand. I put the pictures down and looked out the window. We were planning to tell the pack today, currently heading there for an early dinner and I just couldn't stop switching between crying and smiling. Overwhelmed with joy, happiness, anxiety - this was going to be my life for a while until the hormones evened themselves out some.

The truck came to a stop and I pulled myself together, wiping my face and looking in the mirror to make sure that my eyes weren't as red as I thought. Paul chuckled from the seat beside me, he hadn't moved to get out.

"What?" I said looking at him with a small glare.

He smirked at me, "I'm just admiring."

"Stop it. Your flirting is what gave us this." I joked as I held up the ultrasound photos.

"Nooo," Paul said with a laugh and then scooted over to me putting his lips near my ear, "What caused that was the way you moan my name."

My face went red and I felt my eyes grow a little wide at his teasing. He only laughed again and kissed my cheek before we got out of the truck. I put the pictures in my purse as we walked inside. The house was full as usual, laughter and bickering filled the air. Emily hugged me as I walked into the kitchen, Paul joined the boys in the living room.

"Soooo?" She spoke softly sitting next to me.

I pulled out the pictures and laid them on the table, watching as her smile grew wide.

"So cute and so tiny. That'll change, I've heard from Sue these Quileute babies can get quite big." Emily said with a small laugh.

"I don't even want to think about that." I replied eyes growing wide as I looked at my stomach imagining it getting too big to even reach the table over.

"When's the due date?"

"August 16th."

"What's August 16th?" A male voice asked causing both of us to turn. There stood Jared with his mouth full of a brownie.

"Oh yeah," Paul butted in moving next to Jared, "that's when our baby's due."

A roar of 'what' and 'are you kidding me' filled the air as the rest of the boys rushed over huddling near Paul and Jared. They just looked at me and Emily and I giggled holding up the ultrasounds.

"Good going man!" Embry said slapping Paul on the back.

"We're gonna have a little wolf!" Quil said doing the same to the other side.

"You're naming him after me right?" Seth asked, squeezing his way through the pack to come give me a hug.

I laughed, "We don't even know if it's a boy yet."

"Seth works for a girl too."

"It does not," I laughed some more, "but good try."

Emily hugged me too as the boys continued to give Paul congratulations and some shit. Jared made a joke that he always knew Paul would be a teen dad, and I couldn't help but laugh followed by Paul putting him in a headlock. By the time Wolfie arrived we would both be twenty, but for now technically we fell into that category.

It was times like these when I remembered why I loved this place. This is what home felt like, it was a warm meal and good company. It was getting to be yourself, and bad jokes. Familiar smells and comfort in silences. Safety, freedom, security all wrapped into one. That's what I found here with the wonderful people, what I fell into - literally.

"Why are you crying?" Paul asked concerned as he looked at me, Jared's head still wrapped under his arm. I didn't even realize I had been and I wiped the tears away with a laugh.

"I just love you guys."

"Awwww pregnancy has made her soft." Jared joked and Paul began to noogy him again.