Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter nine*

Nancy had been texting me recently checking on me as I had missed a lot of work. I couldn't bring myself to tell her I had tried to commit suicide, but I told her I was healing from some wounds and she didn't ask any further questions.
It took a lot of convincing but Sue finally agreed with me that me going back to work was a good idea, and I got really lucky that I wasn't let go during my time away.

"So you go back today?" Sue asked as I ate some cereal in the kitchen.

I nodded, "Yes, I work 2:30 to 11."

"Are you going to be okay? You haven't been there since that night."

I nodded again, shoving another spoonful of raisin bran in my mouth. She was right I hadn't been there since then. I hadn't worn my uniform since the morning after. I hadn't even driven my car in the month I'd been here. If there was one thing I learned from years of dealing with my father, it was how to put in a brave face and pretend everything was okay.

Overall I was feeling better, I'd spent just about everyday with the boys. Seth has taken me hiking a few times, shown me more of the cliffs, and Emily has been really sweet to talk to. She never asks questions just talks to me about reality tv or music or the boys. Paul keeps trying to talk to me when I'm at Sam's, and I'm nice to him but I avoid anything more than "how was your day?", I think it frustrates him that I won't talk to him because he always leaves the house to go on walks whenever I stop responding. I don't know why he can't just keep a distance like the rest of the boys.

I got ready for work, curling my hair and doing my make up. Covering up the forming scar on my forehead, I got the stitches taken out about a week ago and it's just a weird redish, pink spot, kind of swollen kind of just there. I heard a knock on the front door as I finished up so I went to answer it, and I should've guessed who it was. Every day like clockwork lately, Paul comes over for no reason.

He smiled at me, his eyes looking sad as he noticed the bandages on my arms. They're smaller ones than usual, but I still need them to prevent an infection.

"You look pretty today," he said stepping inside.

I avoided eye-contact, "Uh thanks, I'm going back to work today."

"Well that's..something. Are you going to be okay? That's kind of a big deal."  Paul moved to the table sitting down, making it harder to not look at him.

"Yes Paul. I'll be fine."

"You're not even a little bit worried?"

I looked directly at him confused as hell, "About what?"

"About uh.." I don't know why but he stuttered on his words and then got up from the table it felt like there was a direction question he wasn't asking, "just tell Sue I stopped by okay? I gotta go."

He walked out the door and I stood there confused. It was almost like he could see right through me and sense all my fears. Of course I was worried, I was worried I'd go to work and he'd be there and hurt me again. But I needed the money more than I wanted to live in fear. And Paul didn't even know about him, or he shouldn't because I never told him. I shook my head and went and changed into my uniform before grabbing my keys and purse and walking out the door.

I was greeted with a giant hug by Nancy, "Joni!! I haven't seen you in so long. I'm so glad you're okay."

I smiled at her telling her I was fine and just excited to be back. I got settled and started cleaning waiting for someone to sit in my section. But to my luck it was someone I never expected.

"Mom?" I said, standing next to the table hands trembling as I held my little notepad.

"Hi sweetheart, I'm so glad you're working tonight. I've come in looking for you since I found out you worked here but you've been gone."

"Why?"

"Because you need to come home. I know what happened with your father, but it won't happen again and you're our baby."

I shook my head, "That's not happening. I've got a place to stay and I'm okay. I'm not coming back."

She didn't like that answer, she stood up. Standing in my face now and speaking in a hushed but angry tone, "You're coming home. It's not an option."

"I'm a legal adult you can't make me do anything."

My mother grabbed my wrist, from outsiders point of view it could be a sweet moment, but for me who could feel her nails digging into my cut it was a painful one.

"You're making the family look bad by running away. Everyone knows what you tried to do. Everyone keeps asking about you, you have to come home it's not an option."

"No mother. I'm not coming home."

She pressed harder on my arm. Did everyone really know? How did she know? She sure knew right where to press to hurt me so I guess she wasn't lying.

"Is everything okay over here?" His voice was strong and concerned, causing my mother to let go of my arm and step back.

"Everything's fine. Just a mother checking on her daughter. I'll be going now."

I watched her walk out and looked up to see him, and I think this was the first time I'd ever been grateful to see Paul. Even if I never expected him to be here.