Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter fourteen*

|Joni|
"What did you think?" Paul asked me as Billy ended his stories, everyone started getting up and talking.

His arm still wrapped tightly around me, I turned to look at him and smiled slightly, "They're beautiful stories. It would be amazing if they were real if everyone here could be...protected. I saw a wolf here once, what if it was a shapeshjfter?"

"You did?"

"Yeah the morning after I was...attacked."

"Did it freak you out?"

"No, it made me feel safe I guess."

Paul smiled and chuckled a little. He moved his arm and stood up reaching out a hand for me to do the same. I took it, and didn't let go even after standing. The comfort he provides, the security, I'd longed for it my whole life. It's this incredible feeling that I'm invincible, that nothing can harm me if he's by my side. But I know it's not fair to depend on him for that, it's not really fair to depend on him for anything, and he can't keep saving me from things. Not myself, my mother or my father. That's too much work and pressure to put on one man alone, it's unfair to him for me to come into his life and fuck everything up the way I have. The way I have for all these people, I'm just an outsider and now they've let me into one of the most sacred parts of their tribe when they didn't have to. I don't know who exactly chose to, maybe Sue just made everyone accept that I'd be here tonight. Maybe they all agreed I was too much of a flight risk to be left alone by myself. I'm overthinking again.

"What was your favorite story?" Paul was leading me to the cars now.

I thought for a moment, replaying the different stories, "The one about imprinting."

"Why that one?"

"Because it would be nice to be loved like that. To have someone tied to you, to protect you, to care for you. And to have someone that you feel the same way for. An unbreakable, incredible bond." I realized I was babbling and stopped myself, letting go of his hand finally as we had made it back to my car.

Paul didn't speak as I fumbled for my keys in my pocket, I don't think he saw the story the same way I did. When I got my keys I unlocked my doors and opened it looking up at him.

"Are you feeling better?" Paul said changing the subject completely.

"I'll be fine, he just has a way of getting to me and then I feel like.."

"Like?"

"My chest gets tight, I can't breathe. I get a shiver down my spine and my body just feels like it's out of my control. The situation always feels out of my control and I just try to stay calm but I physically can't, but my mind. It disassociates? It's like I'm here but I'm not here and I think it's because I know nothing good is going to happen."

"He's hurt you before, hasn't he?"

I just nodded. Feeling tears kind of forming in my eyes. Paul reached for my hand again, leaning against my car and looking at me. He pulled my hand up to his face and just lightly kissed it, "I'm never going to let him hurt you again."

He let go of my hand and took a small step back gesturing for me to get in the car now. I sat down and closed the door, turning the car on. Paul backed up a bit more to give me more room to back out and he gave me a small wave. But I didn't want to go, I didn't want to be away from him and lose this feeling of security.

I rolled the window down, "Are you doing anything the rest of the night?"

"Uh I don't think so?" Paul said confused.