Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter fourty-eight*

|PAUL|

Joni had looked so excited for me to open my gift, but I could've never expected what was inside the box. Pregnant? A baby? Me as a dad? I didn't know how to do that, I didn't know how to be a parent I had barely had my own. Not wanting to say the wrong thing I had walked out. I wasn't angry, or upset, I'd get to have a baby with the woman I loved - I'd get to see her be a mom and I knew she'd be great at it. But I'd never seen myself having kids, I didn't want to mess up another human being.

I found myself on Sam's doorstep, it was the most comfortable place I knew besides mine and Joni's house. I debated knocking, but I didn't even know what to say. The door swung open before I even got the chance, Sam looked at me confused.

"Why are you here?" He asked, moving out of the way so I could step inside.

"Sam." My voice was a lot more serious than I expected, his arms crossed as he closed the door the same look of confusion on his face as before, "Joni's pregnant."

"OH MY GOD!" Emily yelled from behind us and immediately hugging me.

Sam held a smile too, and hugged me.

"So then why are you here? Is Joni coming back too? Is she okay?" Emily asked as she let me go.

I scratched the back of my head, "I...I sort of left after she told me."

"What the actual fuck Paul?" Sam spoke sternly and smacked the back of his head.

I sat down at the table my head in my hands, and Sam sat down next to me. Emily glared at me and then proceeded out of the room knowing this wasn't a her conversation.

"You just left? Did you say anything?"

"No. I didn't know what to say."

"I love you? I'm so excited? How long have you known? You're gonna be such a good mom? How are you feeling? There's so many things you could've said Paul."

I looked at Sam, his eyes holding a disappointed look, "Sam I don't think I can do it. I can't be a dad."

"You absolutely can and you will. You love her?"

I nodded.

"That baby is going to be half of each of you. You'll love it, you'll protect it. You'll die for it if you have to. And you'll raise it better than you were raised."

"What if I fuck it up?"

"Every parent makes mistakes Paul," he put his hand on my shoulder, "if you just try to do better than what you had that child will be completely fine. And you've got the whole pack behind you to help out."

Tears rolled down my face and I leaned over and hugged him letting it out. I was absolutely terrified, but it was comforting to know I'd have everyone behind me to raise my child. Our child.

"Now get out of here. Go tell Joni you're sorry and you love her. She's probably upset."

|JONI|

I woke up to the door opening, Paul walked in with a sad look on his face. He eyed the gifts still left in front of the fireplace, I couldn't bring myself to clean up after us. I watched him for a moment before laying my head back down and wrapping the blankets tighter around myself. Closing my eyes I really hoped he would just leave me alone, but he didn't. He placed himself on the floor in front of me, rubbing my shoulder and upper back. His head was leaning against the pillows, and he leaned in placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.