The Surrogate

Thank you....

"Come on, you look exhausted," Seb pats the empty space in the bed next to him as Holly makes her way over, having taken one last look at Emilia to check that she's ok.

The velvety sound of his voice and the sight of him sitting up in the bed, his fit, toned torso on full display, is something she'll never tire of seeing and it's enough to make her want to lick her lips - if she wasn't so tired and hadn't given birth just days ago then she'd literally be jumping on him. She gets into the bed next to him and he lays down, extending an arm out in an invitation for her to lay down and make herself comfortable in his embrace, which she does without any hesitation.

It feels weird knowing that the house is so full; his parents are staying overnight and travelling back home early tomorrow afternoon and Imogen is occupying the other spare bedroom. The only unoccupied bedroom is Emilia's nursery, where she'll sleep when she's a little older. For now she's sleeping in a grey, Silver Cross crib a few steps away to the side of their bed.

Imogen. Her firstborn daughter. That sweet little girl with the glittery bow clips in her hair who she'd last seen crying and screaming as she was carried away. Now she's here; a mature for her age teenage girl who's searched for her birth mother and found her and is sleeping just a few doors away.

The day feels like it's been never ending yet it also feels like it's flown past in a blur and everything feels so different to the way it did when she'd woken up this morning. Holly also feels different in herself; today has changed her, she's a mother now. Whether she's worthy and capable to accept this role she isn't sure.

Seb can almost hear her mind racing and she feels a little tense in his arms. He's not really surprised, it's been a big day for her and he wishes that he'd mentioned seeing Imogen in the supermarket car park earlier than he did. He feels so proud of her; considering she'd started the day with a visit from his parents and him telling her that he thought he'd seen Imogen and had forgotten to tell her and then had met her daughter for the first time in years, she's coped with it all so well - startlingly well when he factors in her giving birth four days ago.

He moves his head enough to kiss hers and starts to stroke her arm where it's draped across his chest. He's seen a change in her today and it's given him renewed hope that she'll stay here and build a life together with himself and Emilia and hopefully in time Imogen will join them and complete their little family. That's his goal now.

"I love you so much," he says quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

She responds by kissing his chest, "I love you too."

"Tell me what you're thinking," he says, hoping that if she shares her thoughts and fears then she'll sleep better.

Holly's eyes feel heavy and irritated as the tiredness really kicks in and she breathes deeply before she replies, "the day has been..." she pauses and tries to think of the right words. Emotional? Hectic? Full on? A whirlwind? A rollercoaster? "It just feels kind of surreal. I guess I need to process it all. My brain feels mashed."

He reaches out an arm until his hand finds the bedside lamp which he switches off and then goes back to stroking her arm, "I'm so proud of you, I know that today wouldn't have been easy for you. There's been a lot to take in, you only gave birth four days ago and yet you've stayed strong."

She sighs as she considers his words; she doesn't feel strong, she feels scared and fragile.

"And I know I should have told you sooner about seeing Imogen in the car park and for that I'm really sorry. I genuinely did forget, I guess you could say I've had baby brain," Seb adds, smiling into the darkness as it hits him once again that he's daddy to the tiny baby sleeping not far from their bed.