The Surrogate

Wavering

Ester hesitates for a moment before she enters her flat, her door key in her hand, poised at the lock. Seb is here, in London, and he's desperate to see Holly and she doesn't know whether she should say something or not.

The poor woman needs to get her head straight first, she needs those sessions with her therapist and to start to feel better before she can even consider speaking to Seb but the German has other ideas and he's obviously not going to let Holly go that easily.

The door suddenly opens to reveal Holly, who looks a little brighter in herself than she did earlier and she observes Ester for a second, who's got her bag flung over her shoulder and a small cardboard tray that holds two Costa cups in her other hand. "Aren't you coming in?" she asks, helpfully taking the drinks from her friend.

Ester decides to wait until Holly has put the drinks down before she mentions Seb and follows her inside, watching as she puts the drinks down on a low coffee table.

Holly already knows that Seb is in London, she could tell by the hesitation on Ester's face and the look of dread of telling her. She's not daft, she knows that it was only a matter of time before he came looking for her. She immediately feels pressured, her gaze casting downwards, "he's here, isn't he."

"Yeah," Ester replies as she perches her bag on the arm of her sofa and opens the zip.

"At my apartment?"

"Yeah," she answers again and pulls out the papers that Holly wanted, handing them to her as she carries on, "found him sitting on your doormat, leaning back against the door, talking with Naomi."

"Naomi?" Holly rarely sees her neighbour and she'd almost forgotten that Naomi lived there. She knows that Naomi will have recognised Seb and just prays that she doesn't leak any details to the press. Although she knew Holly had been pregnant and would have been aware of the rumours that Seb was the father, she knew nothing more than that but it wouldn't take a genius to work things out. The last thing Seb will want is the news that he's become a dad to become public knowledge before he's ready.

"I heard her telling him how you hadn't been home for a few days as I came up the stairs. She went into her apartment but I wouldn't put it past her that she wasn't stood the other side of her door, listening, the nosy cow," Ester mutters, rolling her eyes as she speaks about Holly's inquisitive neighbour.

"Did he look ok?" Holly asks, putting the papers down next to the two hot chocolates. She's been worried about him ever since the day she left, worried about how he's coping with the demands of a young baby and the remaining races in the Formula One calendar.

"He looked tired, he needs a haircut and a shave but other than that, I guess so," Ester replies and she produces a small paper bag from her bag, containing two double chocolate cookies.

She gives herself a second to process this bit of information - he looks tired, needs a haircut and a shave but then he's not had his hair cut for ages so that's nothing unusual, like his beard growth which varies anywhere from short and stubbly to something that she sometimes thinks makes him look a bit like a hobo. "Do you think he's followed you here?" she asks as that worrying thought pops into her head.

"I don't think so," Ester sits down and kicks off her trainers before patting the vacant seat next to her, "come on, let's have this before it gets cold."

Feeling worried, Holly sits down and gratefully accepts an offered cookie. While the thought that Seb could have followed Ester here concerns her, she also feels a flicker of excitement, reminding her of how she used to feel every time she knew she was going to see him. There's a faint flutter of butterflies, making her think back to how she used to love the anticipation of being with him, of feeling his touch, the way he'd hold her in his arms and his additive kisses. Seb had quickly become everything to her and now.... Looking at the dark brown cookie in her hand, she sighs; it's her own fault that she feels like this, her own fault that's now without him and her own fault that she felt that she had to leave him and Emilia behind.