The Surrogate

His final lap

Sunday November 20th. Abu Dhabi.

Sitting in the back of the dark blue Mercedes people carrier, behind blacked out windows, Seb feels so many emotions that it's as if someone has stuck them all in a blender and then put them back inside him again. With Britta and Antti already at the circuit, he's accompanied by Hayley, Stefanie, his mother and his father and of course, Emilia, but he's so lost in his thoughts he might as well be sitting here alone.

There's the usual building, buzzing sense of anticipation and adrenaline that racing always brings, the sense of nerves and excitement at driving a Formula One car right on its limit and always wanting to be the one in front. Then there's a part of him that feels melancholic - the second half of this season has felt full of 'last times' and now it's come down to his last laps. By the end of the day, the buzz and thrill of racing in F1 will be no more, he'll no longer be engaged in strategy meetings, media and PR briefings, safety briefings, post quali and race debriefs and sponsor events. There will be no more media days and track walks with his team, instead they'll be doing all that with Fernando Alonso.

He'll no longer be going through his pre-session rituals, no longer stepping into a changing room to see all his stuff set out and organised and his fireproofs and race suit hanging on a rail, ready to put on.

There'll no longer be the pre-session chats with his team in the garage, the banter or the laughs and at the end of the day, there will no longer be the thanks he gives each and every one of them for their time dedicated to their hard work on his car.

He won't be sat in his car on the grid anymore, his eyes fixed to the small row of lights, waiting to make that split second move that will send the car flying towards the first corner, surrounded by others in wheel to wheel battles.

What he will have and does have, however, is the gorgeous sixteen week old baby girl sitting near to him in a rear facing car seat. The coming weeks may seem a little daunting as he comes to terms with not racing anymore but he's sure that Emilia will keep him busy, along with a few other commitments he has lined up.

"Feels strange, yes?" Norbert breaks Seb out of his train of thought. He's noticed over the past couple of days how his son often seems lost in his thoughts and whenever they've been in Aston Martin's hospitality suite or the garage, he's noticed how Seb will take a little more time to look around and to speak to people, not that he didn't do that before.

"Yeah, a bit," he admits, "it just feels like the time has gone so fast, like I've blinked and here we are, the last race."

Norbert just nods in agreement. His son has somehow dragged the Aston Martin up to ninth on the grid for today's race. He knows it's not where Seb would have liked to have started from on his last race, he deserves so much more than the mediocre car he's had this year and would have loved to bow out on top but it is what it is, he's done the best he could with what he's got and there's still the memories of past season's successes that he'll always have with him.

He can't quite believe how fast the years have gone. He still well remembers Seb's very first race with BMW Sauber, it was a moment that his son had worked hard for and had involved a lot of sacrifices for the whole family both financially and time wise but the quick rise to the top meant that it had all been worth it, with his first world championship coming just three years later. Now, with Seb having given so much of himself to his career, it feels like the end of an era. He's sacrificed alot himself, relationships have broken down as he put racing ahead of everything else, spending hours travelling, training, practicing in a simulator or attending events and photoshoots for sponsors or the team. His years in Ferrari had been a particularly hard time both physically and mentally and his move to Aston Martin had, at first, seemed like a breath of fresh air with a successful first season but since then the car has lacked pace and podiums have been non existent. Mid field is not where Seb liked to race.