The Surrogate

When He Just Can't Hold It In Anymore

It's positive.

He's still examining the piece of plastic in his hand, still blinking in disbelief but treasuring this thing as though it's made out of precious gem stones and metals or as if it's a key to saving the planet and reversing all the damage done by humankind.

This is one of those magical moments that Holly loves the most, aside from the birth. This is where an intended parent's dreams start to become realised and it's a moment that she cherishes every single time because it means just as much to her as it does to the baby's parents. It's a life changing moment, suddenly your focus isn't just on material things or your career and it shifts to the tiny, barely formed human being that's been longed for.

Their tiny human being is probably not much more than a bunch of cells but for Seb it's already the most precious thing in the world. He's trying to fight his emotions, he doesn't want to end up being one of those expectant parents who cries at every milestone but there's no fighting the tears this time. This feels sweeter and far more amazing than any achievement in his F1 career, this means so much more. The pregnancy test slips from his hand as his vision blurs and the tears roll down his cheeks, he can't remember ever feeling this happy, this ecstatic before. "Holly," he just about manages to choke out her name before flinging his arms around her.

His hold on her is so tight that she finds herself verging on being short of breath and it takes a few taps of her hand on his back for him to realise and let go of her.

She can't halt her own happy tears as she watches him tilting his head back, biting his bottom lip in an effort to control himself, his shoulders occasionally shake with suppressed happy sobs.

"Fuck," he rasps, the corners of his lips are turned upwards and his face is an expression not at all dissimilar to when he'd won his first world driver's title. He can't help himself when he grasps her face in his hands, looking at her with an onslaught of intense love and pure admiration and awe. This woman is wonderful, no one will ever compare to her. "You're pregnant....we're pregnant," he announces with a shaky voice that shows how even more in awe of her he is.

"Yeah," she smiles, her cheeks squished by Sebastian's hands.

"Thank you so much! You're amazing," he gushes, he's this close to confessing his love to her, it's so close to just spilling out of him.

She manages to look quite coy, "I don't know about that, you did your bit too."

He goes from grasping her face to stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, the words are on the tip of his tongue and as she lifts her hands to his cheeks to begin trying to wipe away his happy tears it's taking all his self restraint not to kiss her. There's a little voice in his head, it's urging him on, telling him to just go for it.

His reaction is everything that she's hoped for, it's a moment that she'll never, ever forget and she leans in to kiss his forehead and then the tip of his nose just like she's wanted. Swept away by the moment and emotions she forgets herself and kisses his lips. It's only a brief kiss but one that's full of her affection for him. It's also another mistake of hers.

It tips him over the edge and he looks her right in her eyes as the words come tumbling out, "I can't not say this, I can't hold it in any longer....."

Her heart stops, she's made a huge mistake, he can't be doing this, she can't let him do this, "Seb...."

"No," his voice is urgent as he cuts her off and clutches hold of her hands, wrenching them away from his face, "I've fallen for you Holly. Truly, deeply, hopelessly....."

"No," she can barely get her voice to work but she can't let him do this.

"I know you feel the same, I felt it that night, I can't go on without letting you know how I feel."