The Surrogate

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Monday August 1st.

Monday has arrived and two very eager grandparents have arrived along with it, bringing their suitcase and six clear, helium filled balloons that are filled with pink confetti and with Emilia's name written on each one in black, swirly writing.

And after being warmly greeted by them Holly feels surprisingly sidelined.

As Heike and Norbert chat animatedly with their son in German, seemingly having forgotten that she's here and can only speak very little of the language, she hovers awkwardly in the kitchen.

She actually finds herself wishing that Hayley was still here, she'd become a good friend and support to her over the past weeks, had been a big help during the birth and it would be nice to have someone else to talk to while Seb is preoccupied with his parents and Emilia.

But that's not all he's been preoccupied with. There's been something else. He's not been himself over the past couple of days, he seemed fine on Friday but over the weekend he's seemed a bit off and like there's something on his mind.

She knows its not to do with Emilia or that lack of the special maternal bond that's so far failed to materialise. He's once again made the effort to reassure her, telling her how he believes in her, that she shouldn't pressure herself and should just spend time with the baby and let nature do the rest. He's also been his usual affectionate and loving self so it's nothing to do with him not feeling the same about her. Or is it?

She watches as they continue talking and Heike warmly hugs her son while Norbert has disappeared. On one of the kitchen countertops sits the small white baby monitor and she's certain she hears a little noise come from it.

Has Seb started to feel differently about her? Was he traumatised during the birth and now doesn't see her in the same way? Is her post baby body putting him off? Or is her failure as a mother the root cause of his change of mood? Is he finally losing patience with her? She wouldn't blame him if he was, not after everything she's put him through.

Norbert returns and rejoins them. Holly is very fond of Seb's father, although he doesn't speak as much English as his son he has a wicked sense of humour and a constant mischievous sparkle in his eyes and him and Seb are really close.

As he goes back to Seb and Heike she notices a large gift bag in his hand. It's pink with pink ribbon handles and a picture of a light brown bear on the front with little pink bows near each ear. It reminds her of the pink bow clips she used to put in Imogen's hair and it causes a fresh pang of worry and anxiety to churn in her stomach.

"Holly," Seb beckons her over, wanting to open the gift from his parents with her. He's trying hard to push aside his guilt after it had dawned on him just who the mystery girl could have been.

It hadn't been until he was helping with a night feed that he'd remembered the teenage girl who'd approached him and then disappeared. With Holly now expressing in between feeds, he'd been able to feed Emilia himself at around two AM Saturday morning when he'd suddenly found this girl popping back into his memory.

He doesn't know what to do, if he should tell Holly about the girl or just leave it. The chance of her being Imogen is realistically slim and he worries about Holly's reaction if she thinks that Imogen is in the country and close to seeking out her mother. What if Holly can't handle it and flees? What if she never comes back? What if she never forgives him for not saying anything?

What if the girl was Imogen and she's somehow got here alone and something awful happens to her and he never said a word?

Trying to ignore the guilt that's nagging away at him, he holds out a hand for her to take and smiles fondly as she accepts it and lets him gently pull her close to his side. He gives a lingering kiss to her cheek and the butterflies erupt when he feels her squeeze his hand in response. "I hope you don't feel like we've been ignoring you," he murmurs quietly, "I've reminded them about trying to stick to English for you."