The Surrogate

Who's that girl?

Friday 29th July.

The last twelve to eighteen hours have passed them by in a haze, a happy but tired haze as Seb begins to adjust to life with a newborn baby.

Their first night with Emilia Elisabeth Vettel has consisted of very broken sleep of no more than a couple of hours at a time with both parents being awake as Holly breastfed their hungry daughter and Seb changed the nappies.

Emilia had been given a thorough check over by the paramedics, was weighed (seven pounds and seven ounces or over three kilos) and was given a clean bill of health with no need for either her or Holly to go to the hospital and so they'd been able to move to the bedroom where they'd stayed until this morning.

For Holly the time has passed in a blur but now she feels like she's being watched, like Seb is waiting for the magical moment when she'll bond with her child.

And as yet she feels nothing and Seb has already noticed.

He won't say anything, he doesn't want to put pressure on her but he's quickly realised how Holly has really only held the baby when she's been feeding her. He's been barely able to put Emilia down, he's so besotted with her and just wants to hold her all the time but Holly seems detached and he can't help feeling disappointed.

Over the past few weeks he'd been convincing himself that as soon as Emilia was born then Holly would fall in love and instantly bond with her daughter but it just doesn't seem to be happening.

He didn't want to force the issue, it's still very early days, but at the same he does, Holly will never be able to bond with Emilia if she doesn't spend time with her.

Standing in the kitchen, with Emilia in his arms, he looks down at his perfect little girl. After FaceTiming his parents this morning his mum has already said how Emilia looks like him when he was a baby, they also said they were going to come over on Monday to stay for a few days and he really doesn't want them noticing the way Holly seems to distance herself from her child. So he's made a decision.

And Holly walks up behind him with great timing, placing her hands on his shoulders and kissing his bare back.

"You're so good with her," she mumbles as she feathers his skin with more kisses, "you're a complete natural."

He smiles and turns around, feeling like fatherhood really suits him, "thank you and so will you be," and with that he promptly hands the newborn over to her.

She looks startled and confused, looks down at Emilia as she takes hold of her, feeling like Seb has given her no choice but to take her and then looks back at him.

"I'm popping out, we need a few things," he adds, as if that will answer her question.

"But... but..." Holly stutters and then looks around, maybe Hayley will take Emilia until she needs feeding.

Seb gently rubs the top of her arm and then leans in to kiss her cheek, "you'll be fine with her on your own, I promise." With that he walks away, grabbing his T-shirt from the sofa on way to the door.

Holly stands there, cradling Emilia in her arms who's already beginning to make unhappy little noises, as if she can sense her mother's unease.

"Won't be long!" Seb calls out before leaving, making sure he's got his phone with him, just in case.

She curses, "shit," and looks around once more, wondering where Hayley is. Then she remembers that Hayley has gone out for run and will be packing her final few bits in preparation for moving back home later on today. "Fuck," she curses again, realising that she's literally been left 'holding the baby.' She's not daft, she knows that this is Seb's way of trying to help her with the bonding process. Unfortunately she doesn't think it will work.