Commander Kitsune

Twenty-Eight

Naruto's POV

A month or more passes. Maybe two, but who's counting?

Most of my injuries have healed- but now there are just more scars to add onto the amount. I still can't walk, sadly- and I still need my splint. If I weren't so energy deprived right now, I would've healed my leg myself by now.

Sasuke's been taking care of me these past few weeks. But I can't even tell if Sasuke's still pissed or honestly just over me right now. He never lets me out of his sight, but whenever he takes care of me, changes my bandages, or putting on ointment- he always has on an expressionless face. ...And whenever I try to look at him, he looks away. Whenever I try to touch him, he pulls away. I can't help but feel a pang of guilt and hurt when he does that. But I guess I deserve it- this all my fault, anyhow. I can also tell he barely sleeps- he always has eye bags under his eyes, and he always yawns. At night, he just sits next to the bed, arms crossed, staring at me- watching me sleep. I know this since I sometimes pretend to sleep. He only goes out to get groceries or stuff like that- and he barely talks to me. He just asks me what I want to eat or if anything hurts. Yeah. My heart. My heart hurts.

I've made a mistake. And I know I should fix it- but it's like that feeling, gnawing at your stomach, telling you to do something, say something; but you can't, because you're afraid. Afraid you'll just make it worse, and you don't have the motivation to fix it anyway. I'm still working up the courage, to tell Sasuke I'm sorry, and that I love him, and that I would do anything in the world to get him back.

I haven't heard much from Kura either. Not that I was expecting him to randomly start talking to me again. But I don't feel his presence in my head anymore either, which makes me feel more... empty. Like a hole in my chest I can't fill. Holes, actually- plural. I'm practically swiss cheese right now. 

Our friends try to visit sometimes too- but Sasuke usually turns them away, and tells them I've injured myself heavily during a mission and that I need rest.

I'm not sure Sakura believes that, because she's tried visiting multiple times, even though Sasuke always turns her down.

Currently, I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, while Sasuke is applying ointment on the burns on my back. The burns are harder to heal- but at least I don't need bandages as often anymore.

I feel Sasuke's fingers accidentally graze a scar, and I wince at the recurring memory. Sasuke freezes.

"Sorry." He murmurs. "Does it hurt?" I shake my head, trying to tell him I'm fine. To tell him not to stop- because him touching me like this is the only reminder of what we used to have. Before I screwed everything up.

After a small pause, Sasuke starts applying ointment again, this time avoiding the scars. It takes all of my self-control not to let out a breath of relief. When he finishes, I hear him get up from the bed, the bed creaking under his weight. 

I stare at his back as he walks towards the kitchen, towards the box of medical supplies. I don't know. Maybe I feel like if I stare at him long enough, he might finally get my message. The I'm sorry message.

Suddenly, we hear someone knock on the door. "Sasuke! Naruto! I know you're in there!" It's Sakura. I see Sasuke tense, as if he's debating whether to go to the door. Maybe he thinks if he doesn't answer, Sakura might go away. 

More knocking. "Don't make me kick down the door!" Sakura shouts. Sasuke lets out a small frustrated sigh. He clenches his fists before walking towards the door. I've never really understood. Why doesn't he let our friends in? Because he doesn't want to deal with them? Because he doesn't want them seeing me like this? He isn't ashamed of me- is he?