Reverie (TXT Oneshots)

Selfish pt. 2 ☆

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(TW//drugs, hallucinations)

✷ ENJOY ✷

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Yeonjun walked inside his house. Before entering, he checked his mailbox like he did everyday, and as soon as his hand touched an envelope, his heart started palpitating. He took it out and saw a bear drawn on the back of the letter.

He fetched out his phone while entering inside his apartment. He called Taehyun hurriedly, with shaking hands.

"Yeonjun hyung !!"

"did you get it too ?"

"i saw it just now...i... I'm scared...i hope it's him"

"it is... I'm sure it's him"

"let's talk after then..."

"yeah"

Yeonjun stared at the letter in his hands. He gulped, wiping his teary eyes before opening the envelope. Just by the handwriting, he knew it was Beomgyu. He traced his fingers on the letters and kept it down, crying. He picked it up again and started reading.

'Yeonjun hyung...I miss you.... that's not what i planned on writing in the first line but I can't help it. I miss you so much and I know i have no right to say that...since i was the one who left...are you doing well ? I'm doing fine here... it's been two years since that day...and i still don't know how to face you... I'm so ashamed and guilty that i...just can't...'

Yeonjun noticed the smudged letters and cried louder, knowing Beomgyu cried while writing this too.

'I will never forgive myself...i called you selfish that day, not knowing i was the one who was selfish...i didn't think about your feelings and did what i shouldn't have...I really hope you've moved on hyung...cause...cause I haven't...i get nightmares of that day every night and i blame myself all over again... I deserve this... don't i ?'

"no baby...no...p-please"

Yeonjun wiped his tears from his sleeves and took a deep breath, reading further.

'I don't know if I'll be able to stand in front of you again...and i don't know if we'll ever meet again...but hyung...please forgive me...please...let me be selfish cause i... I've always been selfish and you still loved me...just forgive me...like you always did. In these past two years, I've worked on myself and worked on my feelings...and I've realised that the one i actually really love is........'

Yeonjun kept the letter down and clasped a hand on his mouth, crying louder. He tried calling Beomgyu again but it has been switched off for two years. He texted him but none of the messages went through.

-✿-

Taehyun went to his room and locked the door. His chest was heaving. He opened the letter and smiled painfully on seeing the handwriting.

'Taehyun-ah... It's me... I'm assuming that I'm the last person you want to talk to after what i did'

"no...no hyung..."

Taehyun shook his head, whispering and finally letting his tears fall. He continued reading further.

'I always knew you liked me...but i never felt awkward when i was with you...and that's something you did to protect our friendship...i was so grateful for you... because you've been there in my lowest times...and what did i ever give in return to you ? a heartbreak...haha... I'm sorry...I was so overwhelmed with my emotions that i lost control over myself...and ended up using you...how selfish of me... I'll never forgive myself for this...and i don't expect you to do so...i deserve this after all...I worked on my feelings...and I've realised who i actually love is........"