The Quiet One

talks and decisions

I was back in training and lea was still doing rehab and we were sat on the coach at home watching the Lyon game in the champions league and it was going well, Leah was laid on my front playing with my fingers not paying attention.

"Hey, you okay" I said, and she looked up at me putting her chin on my chest, she nodded and when back to the game where we were winning 5-1 and there being 20 minutes left of the match.

"You sure" I asked.

"Yeh just thinking" she whispered.

"What about" I asked stroking her hair away from her face.

"I was talking to my mum the other day she said she was worried about you" she said.

"What do you mean" I asked, and she sat up.

"Come on please don't play dumb" she said, and I sighed.

"I think you need to start talking to someone anyone after I had a conversation with her, I can tell something is bothering you" she said.

"yeah " I said, and Leah leaned against me again just as we saw the final whistle blow and we both smiled and high five at the score.

"Not that the match is finish we got to talk properly" she said turning the tv of and sitting up crossing her legs.

"yeah" I said.

"why didn't you tell me you were struggling so much you don't have to deal with everything all on your own we are all hear and we want to help not because we feel as if we have to it because we want to and we love this you know I love you and if you need a night to chill with no problems then you do that tell me text me anything" she said.

"Am I a bad parent to Elija" I said and Leahs face dropped.

"What not why" she said not really knowing what to say or to answer it.

I didn't say anything but showed her my Instagram posts with me Elija, Viv and Katie from the other day and Leah scrolled down the comments on the post and I got up to go check Eli since he was waking up. I walked up stairs to his room and saw him lied in his cot clearly not happy, with him now being 3 months we tried to get him to sleep in his got and slowly transition him so whenever we are at home he will sleep in his cot.

I picked him up and changed his nappy and sat with him on the rocking chair as he fell asleep and then put him straight back in his cot and watched him and he peacefully slept his chest rising and falling.

I felt hands go around my waist and a head on my shoulders.

"He goes back to sleep" Leah whispered.

"Yeah, I should be down for the rest of the night" I said, and she nodded kissing my neck. we walked out of his room and down the stairs where I collapsed on to the couch.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" I said sitting up.

"I should have noticed something was off with everything I mean the injuries and then before that Jonas giving you little to none minutes on the pitch everyone knowing that you deserved minutes" she said.

"Yeah, it's pretty shitty I mean I had the tournament of my life at the euros and then nothing during the season I'm surprised I even got called up" I said running my hand through my hair.

"Now you deserved it believe me the games you have played you scored and created goals and you know that you deserve more minutes, and you know that" she said.

"But then everything I do all the training and trying I do and did nothing worked I did everything in my power that I could I have no other options" I said.

"What you going to do" she asked.

"I have been thinking but I didn't want not talk to you about it before I decided" I said.

"what" she said knowing deep down what was going to happen.

I grabbed my laptop and there were several tabs open "so as you know I haven't signed a new contract and I have had more emails from my agent about new signings and one was including Barcelona I was looking through the contract and they had gone through practically everything including stuff with Elijah everything it's a two-year contract" I said.

"And you want to take it" Leah said.

"I think so yeah" I said biting my nails.

"I think you should take it" Leah said working through all the tabs and the notes I had wrote about it.

"Wait what about us I don't" I said not knowing how to finish my sentence or even knowing what to say with what Leah had just said.

"Right, you have gone through everything what needs to happen if you transfer and with us, I think we would be fine I mean you have also written about that with both our timetables and time differences we would call every day and then national team holidays I think we could make it work" she said confident which made me smile.

"I'm glad you support me" I said, and she smiled.

"of course, I am it's your dream to play with Barcelona and clearly this is the time for this to happen" she said smiling.

"I love you so much" I said and kissed her lips.

"I love you more" she said kissing me again.