Y/n and eli have been dating for a while now and they really liked each other. In fact it was starting to turn into love for both of them but y/n was worried. Everyone shes ever loved has hurt or abandoned her. So what if hawks the same?
The couple were together tonight in y/n bedroom cuddled up watching movies. It was getting late so hawk decided to stay the night.
Y/n went to get him something comfy to sleep in. When she went back eli instantly began kissing her all over.
" what was that for" she asked surprised from all the affection.
" I love you" he said happily with a smile on his face.
Y/n face dropped. Yes she loves him too but the anxiety came back to her when she heard those words. All the horrible thoughts appeared in her head. What if hes just like everyone else that said they loved her and left her? She just believed hes going to leave too.
Hawk face dropped when he saw her facial expressions change when he said that and instantly began to worry. Her face really told him the feeling wasn't mutual.
" no you don't" she said stepping away from him.
Hawk looked baffled she thinks he doesn't. Y/n doesn't open up about her past so he has no idea about all the hurt and abandonment shes suffered. He really wants her to talk to him though.
" yeah I do. I love you so much. Why do you think i don't" he asked getting upset. He was really hoping the first time saying I love you would be nicer.
" because you shouldn't" she said trying to push him away. This is her defence mechanism. Shes going to push him away before he has the chance to leave like everyone else does.
"Why?" He asked softly.
What shes about to say is going to break hawks heart which is going to break hers but shes scared. Really scared of being hurt again by someone shes supposed to trust.
" because I don't love you" her voice broke when she said that. It hurt her to say that especially after seeing his heartbroken face.
" your lying. It's written all over your face you don't mean that" he cried trying to hold her hand but she pushed it away.
" I do mean it. I don't love you" she said not making eye contact which made hawk grab her chin to make eye contact.
" why are you dating me then" he said crying so hard at this point.
Y/n didnt want him to know about the past. She has opened up about it in the past and no one seemed to help. They just shrugged it off.
" because your the cool hot guy at school and I guess I just used you to be popular I mean you didn't think I'd actually love someone like you I mean look at you. Your lip is disgusting. I can't believe I actually kissed that and the mohawk is pathetic. We're not in the 1980s anymore. Theres nothing to love about you. Your a joke" she said harshly feeling so much guilt in her stomach. She really does love him but she has to do this to protect herself.
" princess you don't mean that" hawk said quietly.
" yeah I do. I don't love you so accept it and leave" she said pushing him out of her room so she can cry while hawk tried to push back so he can stay and talk about this but failed.She slammed the door in his face and slided down the door crying hysterically. Shes such a bitch but she can't cope with getting hurt again even at the extant of hurting someone she loves.
