THE FINAL ROUND (BUILD ME UP TRILOGY) Roddy Ricch Fanfiction

Chapter 56

HeavenLeigh POV

"I think that's the last bit of his things.." I said to Kamal and Remy.

They were here with me, at Roddy's house. We were packing his things, to move it out of the house. And I'm gonna keep his things in my storage.

Certain things I'll let Honesty have so she can always remember her dad, and have a piece of him with her.

"This is really real.." Remy said as we looked around at the now empty house, with all the boxes at the front.

"I be hoping this is just one fucked up ass dream." Kamal said.

"Right. Still waiting on him to walk through the door and say it was just a nightmare." I said shaking my head as I rubbed my face.

"Do you guys wanna keep anything of his?" I asked them.

"I already got this. I got him this when we were 15." Kamal said holding up the chain that said Roddy Ricch on it.

"I barely had the finances obviously but I believed in cuh and his dreams. So I got him a chain made at the swap meet, and he was feeling himself in it" Kamal said laughing.

"Aww, I remember him telling me about that" I said laughing too.

"And I kept this.." Remy said. It was a picture of him and Kamal wearing jerseys with Remy's name on it.

"Remember I had a basketball game in high school, and y'all all came?" Remy said.

"I didn't even know him yet oh my gosh, he was there?" I said.

"Yep. And him and Mal got these jerseys made and wore them to support me" Remy said laughing.

"Wow.. That's crazy" I said.

"I'ma keep the RR chain and the Feed the streets chain for Honesty, and everything is gonna go in storage. When she gets older she can go through it and see what she wants to keep" I said.

"Yeah that's a good idea" Kamal said.

"Oooh I left my purse upstairs. I'll be back" I said and they nodded their heads. "We're gonna take these boxes outside" Kamal said.

"Alright" I replied as I quickly went up the stairs and into Roddy's bedroom.

Which now scars me because that's where I found him dead.

I grabbed my purse from the dresser and I seen a piece of paper there.

I grabbed it and at the top it said Roddy's prayer.

Then it had the date at the top, and the time he wrote it. He wrote it the day he took his life, and he wrote it in the morning, before he seen me and Honesty.

And I started reading it.

Dear God,

Please forgive me for all the sins I've brought upon me. And please forgive me for the sin I'm going to commit. I know you understand that nobody ain't perfect. But we try Lord. I try. I've tried to keep my head up in bad times. And this right now? Is a bad time. I know you know my mind has thought about this for years and years, but now I'm ready. I have to. I don't know God. I've always asked You to show me the way. But I could never find my way. Maybe I just wasn't listening, I don't know. So I ask that you forgive me for being lost. I had an angel here on earth, HeavenLeigh. All those times she prayed over me, I honestly feel like she prevented my death in so many ways. All those times where she said Lord forgive him, for he know not what he do. Thank you for listening to her prayers. I always thought somebody is praying for me, bothering God about me. And it was her. It's always been her. I always felt like you sent her to me, to save me. Thank you for that. And now, I'm hoping to see angels in the after life. Thank you Lord. For all you've done while I was here. Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest the table in front of me in the presence of my enemies. Thy anoint my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen.

After I read that, I put the letter to my heart and silently cried, sitting down on the floor.

And I just cried.

And cried.

And cried.

This letter made me so sad.

But it also gave me peace knowing he had his own personal relationship with God. And that he talked to God, about what was roaming through his head.

And the fact that he incorporated the Lord's Prayer, in Psalms at the end of the letter, warmed my heart.

I'm going to keep this letter forever.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, just taking this all in.

"God grant me the strength.." I prayed.

"Grant me the strength. I have to raise my baby without her father.." I cried silently.

"Guide me oh Lord, for I need you. I need you so bad. I need peace. Peace Lord... Grant me peace Father." I prayed, before taking another deep breath and I placed a kiss on the letter Roddy wrote.

And I put it back to my heart.

-

Kamal POV

Hours later

I walked in HeavenLeigh's church, but nobody was here except for her.

I knew she'd be here, because this is her safe space and she's going through the worst trial and tribulation right now.

She was in the church, playing the piano and singing.

"Guide me O thou, great Jehovah.. Pilgrim through this barren land
I am weak, but thou are mighty
Hold me with thy powerful hand
Bread of Heaven
Bread of Heaven
Feed me now, and evermore" She sang out.

Then she stopped playing and she sighed burying her face in her hands.

I sat beside her, and put one arm around her.

"I'm so tired Kamal" She said under her breath.

"I know. But I got you." I said.

"I know you do." She said back.

She put her arm around me as well and just laid on my shoulder.

We sat in silence for a bit, a comfortable silence.

"He told me he wanted me to find love again.. Even if it's you." Heaven said and I scrunched my eyebrows.

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah.. He wrote it down." She said. "In a letter." She added.

"Wow.." I said.

"He said a lot of things. A whole lot. I just.. I wish he would've talked to me, before making such decision. But sometimes, when a person is through with life, there's nothing you can say or do to stop them. They're gonna do what they want because they feel that's what's best for them." Heaven said.

"Yeah. That's true. I just hate that it got to that point for him." I said squinting my eyes.

This is hard for me to process.

Very hard.

It's weird, I know everybody gone die one day but damn I didn't expect this. And I didn't expect Roddy to go and kill himself.

Just wish he woulda talked to a nigga or, a therapist, I don't know. Anybody.

"But we gone be alright. Lord knows we gone be alright." Heaven said as she sighed.

"I uh.. I love you." I admitted.

Heaven looked at me and said "I love you too."

And we hugged each other before I kissed her forehead, and she said "Let's get out of here."

-

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