With everything in me

Another POV

Yoongi POV:

As I laid in my bed tonight, feeling my sore cheek, now that I sobered up I looked out at the stars as the whole day ran through my head as a flashback.

Laying in this bed with a stranger from the club made me feel disgusted by myself. The way her smell has rubbed off on me made me feel sick as she laid in my arm. I tried to pull away but she pulled me even closer and I just accepted until the door opened and there Sarah stood. She looked out of it as her tears started forming in her eyes. The sight of another girl was enough for the girl beside me to get up and leave, and as soon as she did so, Sarah walked to me and started punching me. I felt emptiness while she did so, not registering any of her punches but when she told me I had played with her feelings I grabbed her by the arms to stop her and get her to look at me. "You did the same to me" I said but I was nowhere in this emptiness of mine ready for what she was about to tell me. She screamed that Namjoon forced her and showed me an imprint of fingers on the back of her neck, and right there my heart sank. I had never felt myself this overwhelmed with hate before, not only to Namjoon but to myself as well. I removed Sarah from me, and went straight to the living room and the first thing i saw i threw at Namjoon, hoping it would cause as much hurt as i was feeling right now, and as much hurt as Sarah must be feeling. She must be so hurt, and i am not sure namjoon is the biggest reason anymore. It was a plate that i ended up throwing through the air to the kitchen where Namjoon was standing but it unfortunately didn't hit him and i felt myself get even more desperate as i took another plate, throwing once again but this time i hoped Namjoon would throw something back, like a knife hitting me right in the heart so i could leave this hurt behind right at the moment as i realized that Sarah and i would never see the light of the day again. I could hear the others scream in the background and if it wasn't for Jimin's voice, getting through i would have thrown all the plates. Instead i walked to Namjoon to pull him out of the house but as he ripped his arm to him with such force it made me gasp i saw a quick picture in my head of Sarah, crying and trying to get free from Namjoons grip and i just punched him the hardest i could as he fell to the floor. I took him by the neck of his shirt and pulled him along the floor to the door where i got him up and pushed him out, telling him to be back when he was done raping. I turned to take a quick look at Sarah, hoping her eyes would look at me the same as they did back then but I only caught a glimpse of them before I received a punch as well, and my jaw dropped as I saw Taehyung shaking his hand. ""Have you absolutely lost your mind Yoongi? How could you possibly hurt the girl you have loved for forever on purpose like that? She has done everything to show you that you could trust her but as soon as you see that picture you just assume the worst and want to give back" I knew he was right. What I had done would be the end of me and Sarah and that would probably be for the best. I don't deserve her selflessness and I don't deserve her big heart and I definitely don't deserve her forgiveness.

I was never much of a crier, but this night I was sobbing by how badly all of this has ended. I have never met anyone ever who gave me such a sense of life and the way I just abandoned her love as soon as I saw the picture was disturbing. She told me to trust her or talk to her, and i did none of the above which could have saved everything.