With everything in me

Doubts

Sarah POV

a new day raises, and as my alarm went off an unapproval groan left Tae's lips. I turn to look at him, laughing a little by the pout on his lips and his furrowed brows. "I can take myself to work, you know that right?" I said, placing a small kiss on his cheek. "I know, but I want to take you" He said, blinking to adjust to the light as he snapped his head up, stealing a kiss. I laughed a little. "I will take a shower and then you can take another ten minutes to wake up" I said, standing up. I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower as I looked in the mirror, smiling a real, happy smile and blushing a little by how red my neck was from last night's activities. I went into the shower, letting the warm water hit my body, covering every inch as my thoughts went off to my dance with Yoongi yesterday, at Amelia's birthday party. How much he looked like himself and how that really warmed my heart, and at one point when i received his gummy smile, i felt myself feeling what i felt before all the things happened. And right now, I just felt guilty. To both of them.

Two of my favorite arms wrapped around my waist as I got back to reality. I turn around and look up, feeling my heart skip a beat by the beauty in front of me. He always takes me aback when we shower together, the way the water drips from him, turning to almost crystals i could reflect in and his wet hair, hugging his face and the way his expression becomes so sexy when he looks at me through half open lids always does it for me. Tae is the most beautiful man in the entire world, and the whole model industry should feel lucky that he decided to become a singer. I stand on my tip toes, desperately trying to reach for a kiss but he just smirks at me while cleaning himself, not even touching me even as my pout turns more and more sad. "You have to get ready Sarah" "Or you'll be late" He said, and i wonder why he decided to call me by my name, and also why the small sparkle in his eye was gone. Tae drove me to work, and as he pulled up I looked at him, genuinely worried what was going on because right now I felt like he was going to say goodbye and I would never see him again. "Are we alright baby bear?" I ask, placing a hand on his thigh. He reached for my hand, and intertwined our fingers, offering me a tight lip smile. He wasn't even able to pretend as if everything was okay. "I have to go, can we meet later?" I ask, scared of the answer. "Let's talk about that later" He said, releasing my hand as I left the car. He drove off at a fast speed and I started thinking, almost overthinking as to what might have happened. Was I losing the person I genuinely loved the most? The person who never gave up on me, did he just give up on me? and why, if so? Last night was the most love filled and intimate moment we had ever shared. At one point I looked at him, and it felt like the first time I really saw him this way. As a clear part of my future.

Sitting in my office I felt it hard to concentrate. My mind would always wander off and think of scenarios as to why Tae was acting as he did today. I tried texting him but he kept writing that he was okay and just too busy to talk. I looked over my instagram, seeing that Mrs Min had published some pictures from Amelia's birthday and as i saw two specific pictures i suddenly got a feeling about what was making Tae act as he did. The first one was from when I was giving Amelia her birthday present. I was kneeling down to her, and the same was Yoongi but as I was looking at Amelia, Yoongi was looking at me. And he looked really happy. The other was from when Yoongi and I were dancing, and the camera was pointed at me, finding me when I looked the most happy while dancing with him. When I felt that things hadn't changed. Tae knows my facial expressions so he clearly knew what i felt there, and it had to be the reason for his small changes in acting. I screenshot the pictures and send them to him, asking if that was the reason and as I press send, a knock on my door takes my attention. I yell come in, and there stands Yoongi. "I thought you might be hungry?" He said, holding up a familiar bag of foods from a place we always would visit. "Thank you so much" I said, smiling as we both went to my couch. "I might actually eat all of this," I said, rubbing my stomach as we both laughed. "I would love to see you try actually," Yoongi said, smirking a little. "Don't challenge me Min Yoongi, there would be no food for you then" I said, smirking back. "It doesn't matter. I could always get something later. I just need you to be full." He said, making me blush for some reason. I looked away, hoping he wouldn't see it. "How have you been princess?" Yoongi asks me, as he puts a hand over mine and for the first time i didn't flinch by the sudden contact. I look at him. "I have been really well, the others has been taking good care of me. I haven't seen Joon in a while at the dorm" I said, Yoongi nodded and i always enjoyed talking to him because there was no doubt that he was listening to every word i was telling him. We talked for longer, laughed a lot and it felt almost normal to sit and have a conversation with him, and his beautiful smile melted my heart every time he flashed it. "Thank you for the food Yoongles, but my break has been a little longer than it should have" I laughed "So i have to get back to work" I continued as i stood up. Before I could register to think about it, Yoongi pulled me into a hug. "It is so good to hear you calling me that again" "It was good to see you again angel, let's do this again soon" He said, pulling away. I agreed as he left. I decided to take a look at my phone before getting back to work, seeing a message from Tae

BB: You never looked at me that way, and as much as I love being selfish these days there is no point because I fall deeper and deeper in love with you but your heart belongs somewhere else.

His message made my heart stop, because I didn't know if he was right. I didn't know who my heart belonged to.