With everything in me

Secrets

Tae Pov

The way Sarah kept pulling everyone away, and the way everyone was avoiding conversation with me made me genuinely confused. Everyone was in their rooms and I just sat in the living room with Bluebell on my lap. "Why are you just sitting there?" I got asked and shaken out of my thought's by Yoongi. "I don't know, everything and everyone is so weird today" I said, turning my head to look at Yoongi who had blank eyes and a very sad expression on his face. "Hyung, are you alright?" I asked, looking at him, searching his face that has always been easy for me to read but I found nothing. "Everything is fine Taehyung, I am just going for a walk" Yoongi said, smiling at me. Bluebell walked to him, and he reached down to her, petting her as he whispered some things for only her to hear i guess. He was wearing loose clothes and his hat and mask so I knew he was just going for a walk, otherwise I would have asked further questions. He put on his shoes and left out the door but I couldn't help feeling like something was wrong.

Shortly after, Sarah entered the living room with the same sad expression and a wave of insecurity washed over me as she looked into my eyes with only half the smile she usually does. "Everything alright?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Everything is unfolding just as it has to" She said, and before I could ask any following question she continued. "So now I only have one left to talk to" She said, placing a hand on my cheek. I felt tears pressing as I looked at her. "But that is not a talk for us to take right here so i was wondering if you might want to go for a drive later tonight? Maybe to a beach somewhere and look at the stars?" She asked, and kept feeling like something was weird. Like I had been defeated. Like she was going to leave again. "Baby Bear?" She interrupted my thoughts, looking confused since I didn't answer. "If you are leaving again" I couldn't finish my sentence as i felt a lump in my throat and my tears started running, not able to stop them. Before my eyes was able to focus again through tears she threw her hands around my neck, pulling me into a hug. "Tae I'm not going anywhere. Don't cry please" She said, holding me tight while my tears kept on coming. I knew the fear of Sarah leaving again was staying right under my skin, hidden in my subconsciousness somewhere but i was just reminded how scared i actually am that she is going to leave and i can't believe i am this lucky, having someone in my life that i love so much that the thought of her leaving would break me this way. All the moments I spent with her were some I treasured. We fought sadness and demons together and I would never change a single thing in this journey we have had together because I was for sure made to only love Sarah. Even if she wasn't made to love me.

"So what do you say dreamy boy?" She said, shaking me out of my thoughts again, and with the nickname she gave me just now, I don't want to know how my expression had been looking while I was zoning out. "I would love to, but let me prepare some things for it" I said, raising a finger but she was shaking her head. "I'm sorry baby bear, but this time i am the one asking you on a date, so i prepared stuff for tonight" She said, laughing a little. "So it's a date?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows. She playfully hit my arm as she stood up. "Just be ready around 9" She said, putting on her shoes. I stood up, hovering over her as our eyes met. "Don't want me to drive you home?" I asked, lowering my tone. "I have a lot to do, you, my dear friend would be a distraction" She said, not letting go of the eye contact. I smirk. "god i love you so much" I said, under my breath as i pulled her into a hug, not letting go before she pulled away. She leaves out of the door, and I immediately miss her. I pulled out my phone, sending her a text.

BB: Don't need to look at all those stars, you always are the brightest to me ;)

I sent the message as I felt like puking of how cringe that was.

S: See you tonight cutie <3

I smiled at my phone, I couldn't wait to be with her again.

The rest of the day was weird. everyone avoided me as earlier and Yoongi hasn't arrived home. I walked to my room, deciding to start getting ready as a knock on the door disturbed me from picking out my shirt. "Come on in" I said, and Jin was standing in my room suddenly. "How are you?" He asked, sitting on my bed. "Scared" I answered, placing myself beside him. "You always doubt yourself too much Taehyung," He said, clapping my shoulder. "You are such a beautiful, soulful, carefull, loving young man. there is no reason for you to doubt yourself the amount you do ""This lovely woman thinks you are special just the way you are, why not take that as a massive compliment huh?" He asked, and I was wondering where all these words were coming from, but for now I just tried taking it in.