Dead-Eye Angels MC (Book #1)

Chapter 34: Between Loyalty and Longing

Song: Hurt - Johnny Cash

The morning sun beams on my restless face as I lounge on Shanice's bed. Like a live wire, I can't sit still, fiddling with the cigarette in my hand. This bed, though soft and silky like a cloud, ain't offering no comfort. There's something deep inside me, shaking me up like a soda can about to burst.

Shanice's room is as fancy as she — white curtains and painted in sage green, like the rest of the house. "Green must be her favorite color," I mumble to myself. I adjust my head against the pillows, sinking into their softness like a sinking ship. I take a whiff of her pink fur pillow, and the scent of vanilla sneaks its way into my nose. I glance around the rest of her room. The place used to be filled with photographs of Shanice's people, and some Chinese dude I recognized from a previous photo must have been her ex-boyfriend.

From her bedroom window, I can spot my own room on the second floor. That girl never woke up before noon, I swear. And that's why it was always fun waking her up with my bike. A smile crawls to my face, and I quickly get rid of it. I gotta let go of Shanice. She's been nothing but trouble, a shiny distraction messing with my head. Can't afford that, man. I'm the President of the Dead-Eye Angels, and my brothers count on me to lead 'em. I can't let 'em down.

Just then, Kade barges in with his heavy footsteps, snapping me back to reality. "What the heck are you doing here, Nate?" he asks, accusation dripping from his voice.

I shoot him a glare, my eyes bloodshot and wild. "Just chill, Kade. I got this under control."

He sighs, exasperated. "I ain't asking if you got things under control. I asked if you're high already?"

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" I throw some sarcasm his way.

"Ugh, stupid me for giving a damn 'bout my brother," he mutters, shaking his head.

A tiny pang of guilt stabs at me. We've been close, like real brothers, since our dads died in that explosion. My grandfather re-took the role of President and father to us both. But right now, as Kade starts snooping around Shanice's dresser, my brother is starting to annoy me.

A bout of rage crawls up my spine. "What do you want?"

"Now that Thanksgiving's over, we gotta prep for Christmas. You know... food, presents for the kids, the whole deal," Kade explains. Lately, he's been all 'bout community work, thanks to him getting friendly with some chick involved in a politician's campaign. I hate seeing this softer side of him, but I gotta admit, it did help us expand our turf. But handling food, toys, and the like is more like an Ol Lady's duty, and none of us have settled down to have one. The House Bunnies we have lounging are here for drugs or fucking, or both. They ain't stepping up for this kinda stuff.

"You know, it took me a while to notice, but you've been different ever since your neighbor moved away. And not in a good way," Kade says, taking a thoughtful pause. "You patched things up with the boys when we took down the Crest Goons' place. But you're still off, man. It's like you're trying to drown something out."

I clench my fists, frustration bubbling up inside me. "Shanice ain't your concern. What I need from my brothers is loyalty, respect, and obedience," I snap, counting all three on my hand, "Is that too much to ask for?"

Silence hangs heavy in the room, but Kade doesn't back down. He's like a dog with a bone. "I get that Shanice meant something to you. Even though she was a pain in your ass and you, in turn, in ours. You seemed happier when she was around. You weren't doing lines every damn day." He eases off the dresser. "I'm worried about where you're headed, man. This obsession with her and the drugs... It's not the Nate I know."

I grit my teeth, trying to shove aside the memories of Shanice's battered face and her soul, all broken inside, flooding my mind like a damn hurricane. The guilt's weighing on me like a heavy stone. "You think you know me, Kade? Hell naw, you don't," I scoff, flicking the cigarette into the trash bin, "You don't know squat." Shanice wasn't just some annoying chick living next door. She was like a spark that set my gut on fire.

I shoot Kade an annoyed look, and he drops the subject. "There's something else we gotta be worried about now."

"What now?" I sit up straight, pulling on my shirt. "We already showed those Crest Goons not to mess with the Dead-Eye. They won't be causing any trouble anytime soon."

Kade shakes his head, his expression dead serious. "It ain't them. There's a new gang, Blacks and Asians, moving in up on the Northside. But here's the kicker – they ain't your regular street gang. These dudes are slick, wearing expensive suits like they mean damn business, not some small-time operation. It has me on edge, man."

"Beyond downtown ain't our turf; that's the Italians' and Scandinavians' territory. If this new crew's stepping on their toes, it's their damn problem. And that's what I'm telling ya, Kade."

We step out of Shanice's old place, and man, her picket fence is lined with dead flowers. The whole yard is a mess, but it's my go-to spot to unwind when Layla or any of the others start getting on my nerves. I hear birds chirping and kids playing outside, filling the air with life. My brothers are hanging out on my front porch, ladies on their laps, loving this unusually hot November weather. It's like a heatwave washing over Maple Street's cul-de-sac.

Kade puts his hand on my shoulder, and I can hear the empathy and determination in his voice. Here we go again. "I got your back, brother, but you gotta make a choice. Are you gonna let this eat you up," he glances back at Shanice's front porch, "or rise above it?"

I meet Kade's gaze, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. Drugs might offer some relief, but they ain't fixing squat. It's time to face my damn demons head-on.

Taking a deep breath, a renewed sense of determination courses through my veins. "Let's get back to work. Time to show the world what the Dead-Eye Angels are made of." And this time, nothing's gonna distract me.

Should Nate get over Shanice and focus on rebuilding his crew? Let me know in the comments