Headshrinker

For What it's Worth, I'm Sorry for the Hurt

Liam had left about an hour ago. Then I heard the knock I've been waiting for all night long. Luckily I cleaned myself up a little before Noel got here, so he wouldn't think I was a complete mess without him (I was). I opened the door. "Ya alright?" Noel asked me. "Yea you?" I replied. He nodded and I opened the door more, signaling him to come in. He got straight to it, "Hannah, I'm so sorry for the way I acted. I shouldn't have left you alone and I should've told you what I was doing. I was just having a super fucked up night and didn't want to bring it on to you." He said staring deep into my eyes. "So you brought it onto a random bird?" I asked. I wasn't going to just pretend to forget about this girl. "Hannah it wasn't like that." He said lighting a cigarette. "Then what was it like Noel?" I asked. I could feel the tears filling my eyes. "And don't lie to me. I heard you kissed." He tried to grab my hand but I slapped him away. "Hannah she kissed me alright?  You can ask anyone who was there and conscious, I threw her off me." He said. "Then why was she answering the phone the next morning, obviously next to you?" I asked, "She wasn't there when I was awake that night. Bonehead said she just crashed out there and I regret even staying at that hotel H." He said. There was a silence while I covered the tears running down my face and nodded trying to accept his reasoning. 

"Listen Hannah, I love you, only you. I can't live happily without you. The thought of you never leaves my mind. Ill always need you." He said with his voice cracking as I broke down. "Then why didn't you come to me if you were having a fucked up night?" I asked. "You know I don't like talking about my dad to you H, and that night was the anniversary of when me, my mum, and our kids, left him to rot." He said tensing up. "Noel, Liam talks about it to me all the time, you aren't going to make me upset I promise." I said putting my hands in his hair. "No, Hannah you don't get it, I got the bruises and scars to show it. Liam doesn't know half the shit I went through. My old man never fucking touched Liam, God knows why." He said looking down. I just admired his soft brown hair and his beautiful eyes, pulling his chin back up. Letting him know it was ok. We just sat in silence for a moment. Taking in each other, making up for our lost  time. I missed him. "Hannah, I did cocaine that night." He said, acting guilty. I know drugs are bad. But it helped him feel better that night and just forget about his childhood for a single moment. I've always known about his dad ever since I've known him. And I've always wanted to cry when I saw his scars. But he gets so upset when I get upset about it, so I don't. The last thing he wants to do is bring hurt onto someone else. I just hugged him. "It's alright Noel. Just promise me you won't get addicted, and maybe share some next time you twat." I said trying to lighten the mood. He just laughed and kissed me. "Ive missed you Hannah." He said. I just smiled.