Lovestruck (EDITING)

28: I Know Better

"Go home, Shana," I mumble, shooting her a glare as I walk past her towards the front of the building.

I hear the sound of her expensive sneakers on the pavement behind me and I exaggerate a sigh to emphasize my annoyance towards her.

"When are you going to forgive me so that we can just forget about this and go back to the way things were?" She whines and I frown, speeding up my pace slightly in frustration.

We walk in silence for a few moments before Shana grips my wrist and tugs my arm so that I almost tumble onto her. The shock that hits me leaves me even more angry and I shove my best friend backwards, swallowing a laugh when she nearly falls onto the pavement.

"What the hell do you want?" I growl and she looks caught off guard by my aggressive actions.

"I want you to forgive me," Shana pleads.

Sometimes I wonder how the two of us ever became friends. I mean, how can two people as different as we are possibly get along as well as we do? Or as well as we did? I guess it had to go wrong at some point.

"I don't know what you expected. Did you think I would react differently?" I stare at the girl who, although I've known her for most of my life, looks like a stranger to me now, "Did you really think I'd be okay with this?"

I fire rhetorical questions at Shana without giving her a chance to respond. I'm too angry to listen to what she has to say - all I want is to let out my emotions all at once.

"No, you know what? You like different guys all the time, but this is different. You know it's different, Shana," I feel my eyes begin to sting with tears but I pull myself back - I can't let myself get worked up over this again.

Shana stares at me and I almost see guilt in her eyes but I know better. All I want is to say something sarcastic and walk away from her but I've gone through enough these past few days to know that doesn't ever solve anything, so I stare back at her. I won't run away this time.

"He's the only guy I've ever shown real interest in all through high school, and you know that. He's just one guy. One guy that you weren't supposed to kiss. There were a hundred guys at that party, and he's the one guy you chose to kiss," I try to hold eye contact with her but she drops her eyes to the ground - I would say she's ashamed but I know better.

"I was drinking. We both were," Shana finally says something but it just makes me more annoyed.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't know who he was," I glare back at her and she looks surprised before staring back at the ground.

"Yeah, I thought so," I mumble, before turning on my heel and walking away slowly knowing she's not following me.

***

I spend the next few days at home, only leaving to visit The Hub for a few hours or to pick up food. The days breeze past without any unexpected visitors or drama-filled house parties or band rehearsals to sit through and I'm relieved to almost forget about the craziness of the past week for a little while. The bliss of doing nothing doesn't last long, though, because before I know it I hear my obnoxious alarm clock buzzing against my nightstand and the dread of a Monday morning washes over me. Here we go.