Lovestruck (EDITING)

53: Ungrounded

"So, since you've followed my rules for the past week without complaint, I've decided to unground you, Skye." My mom looks hesitant, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she stares back at me from across the dining table.

"Oh wow, finally I can go back to my crazy teenage life. You know, I've really missed all the drugs, sex and alcohol." I speak with a heavily sarcastic tone as I pick at my left over vegetables. "Thanks so much for understanding, mom."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"Must've been something truly amazing."

She rolls her eyes at me as I clear our plates, a playful grin covering my face. These are the moments I've learnt to appreciate. The moments of nostalgic banter between me and my mom. Moments of calm, casual humor, where we can almost pretend that everything is okay. Those are the moments I breathe for.

"Well, it's been a long day of being a perfect daughter. Night Mom." I plant a brief kiss on her cheek and she waves me off with another roll of her eyes and a smile.

I climb the stairs to my room and swing open the door, falling onto my bed with a sigh. It feels like only moments before a loud tapping on my window causes me to jolt out of bed. I eye the large window cautiously for a few seconds before there is another tap and I see the movement of a shadowy figure outside. Someone is on the roof. I hesitantly move towards the window and turn the latch, pushing it open slowly.

"Skye." I hear the harsh whisper of my name before Jayden's face comes into view and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Holy shit. Jayden?" I lean out of the window.

"If you're not allowed out, I'm just going to have to bring the party to you." His words are slightly slurred and I raise an eyebrow at him when he holds up an open bottle of vodka, waving it around in front of my face.

"You're drinking?" I frown at him.

"No." Jayden lies with a chuckle, sitting back against the roof.

I sigh and climb out to sit next to him without speaking. The calmness in the air and the bright stars above us takes me back to the last time we were out on this roof together. A smile creeps onto my face at the memory and I lean into Jayden, pressing my cheek against his soft sweatshirt.

"I broke up with Dani." He slurs, taking another swig of the clear liquid in his glass bottle.

He screws up his face at the burn of the alcohol and I almost do the same. He's drinking because of Dani? Something about that makes my stomach turn.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, laying on my back to look up at the sky.

"She loved me." Jayden almost laughs as he says the words, shaking his head at the ground.

I frown up at the stars. She loved him. Did she love him like she loved the guy she worked with at the pool over summer? Like she loved the guy she told me about the week after that? Or did she love him like I love him? My chest aches at the thought.

"But I loved you." Jayden admits, drinking from the bottle again before laying down beside me to stare up at the sky. "I love you."

He brings the bottle to his lips again but I reach over and stop him, taking the bottle from his shaky hand and holding it with mine. I rub circles over his knuckles with my thumb before leaning in to press my lips to his wrist gently. Jayden supports himself with his other elbow to watch me as I trace the lines on his palm with my thumb and look up to meet his eyes with mine.

"Jay--"

"I know, I know." He pulls his hand from mine, letting himself fall back against the roof.

I don't know what's stopping me from telling Jayden how I feel. I know it's hurting him to not have his feelings returned, but I just can't seem to get the words out. There's just so much fear. Because everything is so temporary. The idea of falling in love just seems like an unnecessarily painful way to waste each other's time. What if Jayden's love runs out? What if I let myself fall head over heels in love with this boy who seems perfect in every way and I'm just completely mistaken? This is entirely possible. I've seen it happen before. And I just don't think I can take the pain all over again.

I love Jayden. Of course I love him. But am I in love with him? Not a chance. Truth is, I'll never fall in love. I'll continue to shut people out until they stop trying. And if they don't stop trying, then I'll run. Of course I'll run. I'll never stop running. It's in my blood.

"Turns out I'm not much of a party, after all." Jayden sighs, handing me his bottle as he sits up.

"Jayden, I'm sorry." I plead.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He climbs down onto the old ladder that leans against the side of the house and it creaks as he stops for a moment to find his balance.

"I'm sorry for not being what you need." I say softly, but I can tell by the flicker of sadness in Jayden's eyes that he heard me perfectly.

"My mistake." He mumbles before climbing down the ladder and disappearing into the alleyway beside the house.

And thats exactly what this whole thing was. A mistake.

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1. I haven't updated in so freaking long, I'm sorry! I've had so much going on lately it's crazy

2. I've rewritten this chapter so many times and I just hated the way it was turning out so I apologise if this is not one of my best but I've just really been desperate to get something up here

3. Sorry this chapter is super short but its for the same reasons above!

4. Thank you so much for reading despite my little hiatus and hopefully I will be updating more regularly!

Comments and votes are always appreciated greatly :)

fancyauthor xoxo