Everyone was charmed by Leo's bright smile but behind it all, he could barely keep it together inside. From taking care of his sick mother to suffering mental and physical abuse from his father to keeping up his perfect grades in school.
King was th...
Waking up in strange places next to random people had become a regular thing for me. I wasn't phased to see Ava passed out with some naked girl beside me in bed. I couldn't remember last night, but seeing that I was still clothed was a good sign. At least I didn't have to have a weird moment with some guy I slept with.
Staring at the ceiling with a slight tremble and sweating, I couldn't focus on much else. My body felt sore, and I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was or even the month. It all just blurred together at this point, and I hated the thoughts that started peeking out from the shadows I shoved them in.
Before I could start freaking out about home or the thoughts of King started floating in my mind, Ava shot up from the bed. "Ugh, god," she groaned, rubbing her head before whispering, "Let's go before they wake up."
I nod, knowing the rotation as we carefully crawled out of bed. Ava shuffled through the clothes on the floor, probably not sure what was hers as I put on my shoes and looked around for my coat. Looking over and ready to go, I saw Ava holding someone else's pants. She quickly pulled out a wad of cash before putting it into her pocket and picking up a coat to find a pill bottle.
She peeked at me. I knew she saw the shiver take over my body, even in the heavy coat, and smiled before stuffing the bottle into her bra. We were out the door before anyone else woke up.
"Fuck, that bitch didn't know how to kiss, let alone move her fingers. What a waste," she complained as we walked out of the building and into the frigid winter air. "Breakfast is on them today." She laughed, looking around the street. "If my shit memory is working right, there's a little dinner close."
I didn't know the city as well as she did, so I just followed her lead. "I'm sure it's passed breakfast time, though."
"Nah, this place only serves breakfast, love. Here take this. It'll help the shaking," she turned around, handing me a pill.
Without asking what it was, I put it in my pocket since my mouth was too dry to swallow it without a drink as she could. I guess I wasn't as skilled as her when it came to that.
"Here we are!" she yelled, grabbing my hand and dragging me across the street to some corner place with waffles and pancakes all over the windows. We took our seats and ordered coffee while I tapped my finger on the table, itching to take this pill I was holding like it was my only lifeline.
"You did it again, Mattie," she said, resting her head against her hand.
"What would that be?" I had no idea what she was talking about.
Her eyes dropped to the table with a loud sigh, eyes wide. "King," she said, and just hearing her say his name left a bad taste on my tongue. "You started crying over him again. I feel you, love. You got it bad for him, but he's in the past. You gotta let go."
I didn't know what to say, but thankfully, the waiter came over with our drinks and took our order. Not caring how hot it was, I took the pill into my mouth and slammed a few gulps of black coffee to wash it down. "Ahh, that's gross," I said, wiping my mouth while Ava began laughing.
"Baby, the cream and sugar are right there. You crazy as fuck," she laughed out, covering her mouth to try quicking herself, but eyes were turning to us anyways.
I just needed that thing to start doing its job of making me forget about things that I didn't want to remember.
"There's a place a few streets over. We could get some stronger shit there and camp out for a night or two. Maybe we'll get lucky and hear about another good rave or party while we're there."
"Sounds good to me," I told her before our food arrived. I didn't care what it was as long as it silenced these thoughts.
—
"Oh fuck," I heard the man groan, his fingers gripping my hair harder. "You suck so much better than yesterday. I'm so close."
His hips began thrusting faster, hands holding my head still, but I couldn't breathe anymore. I yanked my head to the side and gasped for air, coughing hard. My throat felt like it was burning, but my stomach wouldn't stop turning.
"Woah, fuck. Don't puke on me," the man yelled as he jumped away from me, pulling up his pants.
"Mattie! You okay, love?" Ava asked, pulling me from the floor.
I yanked my arm away. The chills over my body made her touch feel like it burned me. "I'm... fine," I coughed again, turning around to go into the bathroom as my stomach danced toward my mouth. I fell to the floor, barely making it to the toilet.
"Babe! Babe, you need some help!" I could hear her knocking on the door, making me groan because I didn't want to talk yet. I just needed a minute alone to gather myself and breathe.
"I'm good," I answered in the bowl before slapping around to flush the disgusting smell away. I stayed there, hugging around the seat. The cold against my cheek felt so good, but I couldn't stay like this forever. Knowing Ava, she would kick the door down in a few minutes if I didn't come out.
Dragging myself over to the sink and washing my face and mouth in cold water, I looked up, catching myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, my hair a mess from that guy's hands gripping it, and my lips were swollen. But what stopped me was the needle marks on my arm from when we stayed at the abandoned church. It's been a week, but I could still see them, and I hated it.
"What the hell am I doing here?" I mumbled to myself, dropping my head. "Who are you?" Who was this person staring at me? Why was I doing this? Why was I letting this go on like a coward?
Tears began streaming down my face as I pictured King. Was he okay? Was he worried about me? Did he forget me and move on?
"Of course he did. Look at you. You're a mess. Dirty. Sucking some guy's dick just for a room to stay in and some pills. No one would stay," the voice in my head said out loud. "You're alone. He's not going to save you. You nearly killed him and his cousin."
I curled into myself, sobbing like a child as I sat on the floor. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to see my mom. Lay down with her and hear her tell me it was okay, but I couldn't. She couldn't tell me that anymore. It hurts. Everything hurts. I had no one to go home to anymore.
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