Doctor Who: Future (season five)

Halloween Special - Night Of The Clown

An alarm clock goes off,  A man puts his hand out & presses a button, it stops, He gets up, A woman makes a moaning noise.
Alan: Do you want a coffee?
Ace: Yeah.
Alan walks down the stairs, he picks up the mail.
Alan: One for me, one for Ace, Another me & another for Ace & one more for me! I win!
He walks into the kitchen & turns the kettle on, Ace comes in.
-Thought you were staying in bed?
Ace: Oh I couldn't be bothered, it's a Sunday morning & the sun is out, wanna take a walk in the park.
Alan: It's Halloween, not Christmas.
Ace: Oo, we are proud.
The kettle stops boiling, they laugh.
Alan: Yeah, why not, we could walk Walter.
Walter barks.
Ace: Have you fed him?
Alan: You know I can't stand the smell of dog food.
Ace: Seriously? Your a science teacher, do you not heave over the smell of burning chemical?
Alan: Yes.
Alan gets two mugs out & pours water into a coffee decanter, he pours coffee into the cups.
Ace: Do you want your breakfast boy? Yes you do, yes you do.
Walter barks, The doorbell rings.
-I'll get it! Oh looks like you'll have to feed Walter.
Ace goes to leave the kitchen.
-Stay.
She opens the door, The Doctor is standing there hanging mistletoe above Ace.
The Doctor: Happy Christmas! Fancy a kiss.
The Doctor laughs, Ace raises an eyebrow.
Ace: What?!
MONOLOGUE:
Ace: I am Dorothy McShane. I lived on an alien world after being whisked away by a time storm. I ended up in this place: Iceworld. That's where I met him. The Doctor. We would travel throughout time & space, until one day he came up with a horrid plan, a plan that would ruin our friendship. We were reunited eventually & I forgave him. I would occasionally leave the TARDIS every now & then. One day when planet Earth was in grave danger, I came back to her & we've been stronger ever since. I am Dorothy McShane & this is my story.
RUTH WILSON
SOPHIE ALDRED
JEMMA REDGRAVE
DOCTOR WHO
NIGHT OF THE CLOWN
written by R.B Wilson
The Doctor: Don't leave me hanging, get it? Hanging? Cause of the mistletoe? No? Ok.
Ace: Funny, can I help you or have clowns turned into real people now & they don't need the technicolour & the makeup & red nose oh & also it's Halloween.
The Doctor: Is it? Must of gotten my dates mixed up, always doing that, also Don't knock Technicolor.
Alan: (Offscreen) Who is it?
Ace: Some prat.
The Doctor: Can I come in?
Ace: No?
The Doctor walks past Ace.
The Doctor: Thanks!
Ace closes the door.
Ace: I said no.
The Doctor stops & looks in a mirror.
The Doctor: Is that me?
Ace: Yeah?
The Doctor: My hair!
Ace: What about it?
The Doctor: I'm ginger!
Ace: What?
The Doctor: I'm ginger! Finally!
She holds her hands up.
-I'm ginger!
She wonders into the kitchen.
In the kitchen:
The Doctor: Aw! You've got a dog! I love dogs! I think.
The Doctor gets On her knees & starts babying Walter, he pants.
Alan: Who's this?
Ace: I don't know.
The Doctor: Oh Come on Ace! Look at me! Just look at me!
Ace: I don't know you.
The Doctor raises her hand, there is gold energy flowing around it.
-No.
The Doctor: Yeah!
Ace: No!
The Doctor: Yeah!
Ace: It's you!
The Doctor: Yeah!
Ace: Professor!
Ace hugs The Doctor.
Alan: Ace? Who is this?
Ace: It's The Doctor.
Alan: The Doctor? But you said the Doctor was a man!
The Doctor: Well yesterday I was, Where's Ashley? Is she here? Is she at work? Ashley?! Ashley?! Ashley! Where are you?!
Ace: She's back in the psych ward.
The Doctor: Yes! It's all coming back to me! Molly! Neo! The Vorderon!
Alan: The Vorederon?
Ace: Remember when the sky went out yesterday?
Alan: Oh that, right, well I'm used to weird stuff with you.
The Doctor: So, how have you been?
Ace: You let me think you was dead.
The Doctor: Well, you know how regeneration works, back from the dead & all.
There's another knock.
Alan: I'll go.
Alan opens the door, Kate is standing there.
Kate: Ace's husband I presume?
Alan: Yes.
Kate: Is she in?
Alan: Yeah?
Kate: May I come in.
Alan: Sure, why not.
Kate enters the house.
Kate: Ace & you are?
The Doctor: Hello Kate!
The Doctor hugs Kate.
Kate: (mouthing) Who is this?
The Doctor: It's me! The Doctor!
Kate: Oh! Oh!
The Doctor: How can we help?
Kate: This was on the news this morning.
Kate shows them all a video of a house being smashed up by a group of people dressed as clowns.
Ace: Who's house is that? Boris Johnson's?
Kate: It's one of the houses that we placed a family of X into.
The Doctor: The race that Corson created?
Kate: Precisely.
Ace: Who's doing this?
Kate: We're trying to find out, however, chances are they're extraterrestrial.
Ace: Alien clowns?!
The Doctor: It's not the first time.
Ace: You don't have to tell me, I still see that creeps face in my sleep.
The Doctor: What is it? A refuge house for the X?
Kate: Yeah & it's under siege, by clowns.
Ace: I'll get dressed, you two try & come up with a strategy.
Alan: What about me?
Ace: Feed Walter.
Ace leaves.
Alan: Could you do the honours Doctor?
The Doctor: No sorry, I'm to busy helping Kate get a load of clowns arrested, literally.
Alan: Oh.
Walter whines.
-I know.
Walter barks.
-Can Ace not train you to open your own food?
The Doctor: So, how long has this been going on for?
Kate: A week after the incident at A Charitable Earth.
The Doctor: During the stuff with Neo.
Kate: Yes.
The Doctor: So roughly a week?
Kate: Yes.
The Doctor: What about Osgood?
Kate: She's away trying to find a solution if we could move the X out of London.
The Doctor: So these Clowns, any of them identified?
Kate: One of them we identified as Chris Carlton.
The Doctor: I think we need to talk to this Chris.
Alan: Chris Carlton? I used to teach him, right handful, to be honest with you this doesn't surprise me with him, once tried to blow up the science lab.
Ace comes in.
Ace: I did that once.
Alan looks at Ace.
-I was 16 & unhinged, what can I say?
The Doctor: Come on then!
Ace: Where too?
The Doctor: To speak to Chris.
In an interrogation room:
The Doctor: Hello Chris, I'm the Doctor, but you can call me Joanne 'cause we're friends.
Chris laughs.
Chris: Boo!
He lets out another laugh, this one is more maniacal.
Kate: Doctor, do you want me in there with you?
The Doctor: No, your alright.
Ace: Ask him about the tattoos.
The Doctor: What are those tattoos on your eyebrows?
Chris: My tattoos are symbolism!
The Doctor: Symbolism of what?
Chris: The Vault Of Joker!
The Doctor: The Vault of Joker?
Chris's eyes turn green & he lets out a scream.
Chris: We are not clowns! We are warriors!
Ace: He's lost it, get her out of there before he does something bad.
The lights flicker.
-Light's need changing.
Kate: These are new, only put in yesterday.
The Doctor looks up.
The Doctor: Is this your doing?
Chris laughs.
Chris: Maybe.
The Doctor: Where is the Vault Of Joker based Chris?
Chris: Do you wanna sniff my flower?!
Chris laughs again.
The Doctor: Chris, where is The Vault Of Joker?
Chris: You will soon know!
The Doctor: Know what?
Chris: Where the vault of Joker is!
The light flickers again.
-When the purge of X begins.
Chris laughs.
The light flickers.
Ace: The purge of X?
Kate: Purge: Rid Of An Unwanted Quality.
Ace: To rid of all the X!
Kate: Doctor! We've got an answer, come on.
The Doctor gets up & walks towards the door, the light flickers.
Ace: Doctor behind you!
The Doctor turns around, Chris is stood behind her, she screams.
Kate: Security!
He puts his hand around her neck.
Ace: Hang on Professor!
Ace tries to open the door.
-It's deadlock sealed!
Kate: Here!
Kate throws a gun to ace, she cocks the gun & shoots the handle, the door opens, Ace opens it.
The Doctor: Help me!
Ace hits Chris over the back of the head with the gun, knocking him out.
The Doctor: Thank you.
Ace: Raving lunatic.
The Doctor: You don't have to tell me.
Kate: The purge of X, they're gonna destroy the X.
Ace: But it's a hate crime.
The Doctor: There's nothing the police can do about this.
Ace: Doesn't mean we can.
Kate: Your right, UNIT are to deal with aliens & police are to deal with Humans.
Ace: The Judoon.
The Doctor: No!
Kate: What why?
The Doctor: Long story short, last time they came to earth, I ended up finding out my whole life was a lie!
Kate: Care to explain?
The Doctor: Later, There's a time to work & there's a time to talk, now's the time to work.
Kate: Yes, come on.
On a street:
Callum is walking, a group of clowns come up from behind & begin to beat him.
Callum: Ah no! Stop it! Please!
The Doctor, Kate & Ace are walking along a street, they hear screaming, they look around, they see Callum being pinned down.
Ace: Oi!
Ace picks up a glass bottle.
-You lot are coming with us! If you refuse you get a glass bottle thrown at you! Now step away from him.
The clowns back away, Callum gets away.
Kate: Callum, are you alright?
Callum: Yes thanks Kate.
Kate: Bring it round.
A UNIT car comes around, multiple soldiers exit.
Coleman: Get in the car now! All of you!
Kate: Thanks Coleman.
Coleman: No worries Mum.
Ace: Mum?!
The Doctor is on her heels looking at Ace's scalp.
The Doctor: Have you got grey hair?
Ace looks at the Doctor.
Ace: You looking for a slap? God when your still regenerating your annoying.
The Doctor: This is your first time experiencing me regenerating.
Ace: & I don't need to see it again!
The Doctor: Nice.
Coleman: We're gonna interrogate them, see what we can find out about they're attack on the X.
Kate: Alright.
Ace: We'll come with you.
Callum: Ok.
The Doctor: Ok.
In the UNIT base:
Kate: Anything?
Coleman: Tonight at 9 o clock, they're planning on rioting to take down the X, also we found this.
Coleman shows Kate a device.
Kate: What is it?
Coleman: We have reason to believe it's a tracking device, I've sent a few of my men to take a look.
Kate: Call them off!
Coleman: Why?
Kate: How many did you send?
Coleman: Ten roughly.
Kate: That's not enough & these clowns, they're too strong even against ten hunks covered in mesh, bullet proof armour & big guns, call them off now!
Coleman takes his Walkie-talkie & speaks into it.
Coleman: Microsquad? Do you read me? Over.
Soldier: Yes, over.
Coleman: I need you to abort the mission!
Soldier: Why sir, over.
Coleman: There's not enough of of you.
Soldier: Sir, it may be too late for that!
Coleman: What? Why?!
Joker: Do you want to sniff my little flower?
The men scream as a maniacal laugh roars down the walkie-talkie.
Kate gasps.
Kate: How many trackers did you find?
Coleman: Three, one of which was with them.
Kate: We've got two?
Coleman: Yes.
Kate: Right, we send out half of our team to deal with the clowns on the street tonight, meanwhile I'll go with The Doctor & Ace to deal with whatever that was on the walkie-talkie.
Coleman: Mum? Are you sure?
Kate: Yes.
Coleman: See you on the other side.
Kate: Bye.
Ace & The Doctor come in.
The Doctor: Well?
Kate: The men, they died, however we know where the vault of Joker is, we have trackers which we can use to get to the vault.
The Doctor: Let's go then.
Ace: These clowns, they're way more powerful than your standard bozo with a droopy face whipping a lion.
Kate: Coleman is gonna patrol the streets with half of our team whilst we will head to find the vault with the other half.
The Doctor: Ok.
On the street:
Coleman: Nothing yet, what about you?
Ace: We're at the vault but there's nothing.
Kate: The sewers.
The Doctor: What about them?
Kate: There might be something down there.
Ace: Like?
Kate: Something no one would expect.
The Doctor: Your right!
Kate pulls up a lid from the floor, there are voices.
Kate: Bingo, right, come on then.
In the sewer:
Kate: There's a light up ahead of the tunnel.
The Doctor: Come on then.
Ace: The light at the end.
Kate: Yup.
The Doctor, Ace & Kate & the soldiers get to a clearing.
Ace: There's nothing here.
A child steps out of the darkness, they're holding a battered soft toy & they're wearing a bloody clown mask.
Ace: Hello, are you lost?
Child: Help me.
The Doctor: Course we will.
Child: I've lost my daddy, can you help me find him?
Ace: Course we can sweetie.
Joker: No need.
Joker appears on a beam, high up, he lets out a loud screaming laugh.
Ace: Your sick! Using children to lure us into your traps!!
Kate: We're armed! So I dare you all to come at us!
Come on!
Multiple clowns come out of the darkness.
Kate: There's so many of them.
Joker: You said all of us!
joker coughs, someone's face flies out of his mouth & lands In front of Ace, she yelps.
Ace: Well, now we know what happened to the soldiers Coleman sent out.
The Doctor: Stop this!
Joker laughs.
Joker: Why should we?!
On the street:
A group of clowns March up the street, they are throwing fruit & spraying spray paint on cars.
Coleman: Fire!
The soldiers fire at the Clowns, knocking them all down.
Coleman: It's over, now get down there & help Kate & the others!
In the sewer:
The other soldiers come running in, The Joker roars.
Kate: It's over! Take your defeat joker!
The Doctor: Yeah! What she said!
Ace: Doctor?
The Doctor: Yeah?
Ace: I've still got Nitro-9 in my pocket from yesterday.
The Doctor: Good, use it!
Ace: With us all in here?
The Doctor: Yeah! I think!
Ace: Ugh for gods sake.
Coleman: Your surrounded!
Ace: Let's go.
They all leave.
On the pavement:
Ace looks down to see the clowns coming after them, they are all laughing.
Ace: Permission?
Kate: Granted!
Ace opens the cans & throws them into the sewer.
Ace: Go go go!
The Doctor, The soldiers, Ace & The Doctor run, as there is a loud explosion.
As they look around there are red X's on the cars, stone walls & houses.
Ace: Time to find the TARDIS then Doctor?
The Doctor: Yeah, come on.
On the beach beside the London Eye:
The Doctor: Here she is.
The Doctor & Ace enter the TARDIS, it is darkened.
Ace: I can't see!
The Doctor claps her hands, The lights come on revealing a white colour scheme, pink roundels & a wooden console.
The Doctor: Well! Isn't this beautiful?
Ace: I prefer the one that me & old Hexie boy did.
The Doctor: Course you would.
Ace: So where you off too?
The Doctor: I was thinking of sticking around earth for a while, you know after everything with Neo.
Ace: Ok, well I'll be seeing you around yeah?
The Doctor: Course you will!
Ace: Bye Professor.
The Doctor: It's Doctor!
They laugh, Ace leaves.

NEXT TIME:
The Doctor will return in: 'The Christmas Nightmare' on Christmas Day:
Voice: She is coming!
Creature: You the celestial Toymaker & I the Nestene Consciousness, we shall have revenge!
Motheen: The Rakweed shall awaken!
The Doctor: Ace! No!
The Monk: Oh my.
Blood begins to come out of Ace's eyes.
The Doctor: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!

THE DOCTOR - RUTH WILSON
ACE MCSHANE - SOPHIE ALDRED
KATE STEWART - JEMMA REDGRAVE