Doctor Who: Future (season five)

Christmas Special - The Christmas Nightmare

In Ace's house:
Graham: So here it is! Merry Christmas! Everybody's having fun!
Ace: Here's to the future now it's only just beg-
Walter begins to howl.
Graham: You see a puddy cat?
Ace opens the door.
Ace: If you bark, there's no turkey!
Ace sees something.
-Graham, come here.
Graham comes over.
Graham: What?
Ace: What's that?
Graham: What's what?
Ace: There in the bush!
Graham: Walter, come here.
Walter goes inside.
Ace: Get inside, I think it's feral.
Ace closes the door, There's a gust of wind.
-Oh what now!
Graham: Is she at it again?
The TARDIS materialises in Ace's kitchen, The Doctor steps out.
The Doctor: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
MONOLOGUE:
Ace: I am Dorothy McShane. I lived on an alien world after being whisked away by a time storm. I ended up in this place: Iceworld. That's where I met him. The Doctor. We would travel throughout time & space, until one day he came up with a horrid plan, a plan that would ruin our friendship. We were reunited eventually & I forgave him. I would occasionally leave the TARDIS every now & then. One day when planet Earth was in grave danger, I came back to her & we've been stronger ever since. I am Dorothy McShane & this is my story.
RUTH WILSON
SOPHIE ALDRED
BRADLEY WALSH
DOCTOR WHO
THE CHRISTMAS NIGHTMARE
written by R.B Wilson
Ace: & winner of The 2021 shock soap return goes to the Doctor!
The Doctor: Hm?
Ace: What have I told you about turning up without a notice?
The Doctor: Thought the wheezing TARDIS noise gave it away.
Ace: Yeah whatever.
The Doctor: are they Brussel sprouts?! I love Brussel Sprouts!
The Doctor eats one.
-(Muffled) I'm still new to this body, forgotten how to chew! You know that it takes a whole month for me to le-
The Doctor's eyes widen.
Ace: Professor?
Graham: I think she's chocking.
Ace: What?! Oh professor!
The Doctor runs over to the sink, Ace punches her in the back in an attempt get rid of the Brussel sprout down her throat.
In a funhouse:
Voice: She is near! The Doctor is near!
Creature: She shall come!
In Ace's house:
The Doctor: Chocked on a sprout! Do they know it's Christmas?
Graham: (singing) Time Again.
The Doctor: No, no don't do that.
Ace laughs.
-I'm sure your going grey.
Ace: Do you want me to shove a Brussel sprout down your throat?
The Doctor: No? What are you doing tonight?
Ace: It's Christmas Eve.
The Doctor: Then why are you eating Brussel sprouts & I'm a day early, that's interesting.
Ace: There's a Christmas fair up in Hampstead Heath, we're gonna go later.
The Doctor: Are there fun houses?
Ace: Yeah? Why?
The Doctor: I don't like fun houses, bad experiences & all.
Ace: Eh?
The Doctor: The Celestial Toymaker.
Ace: How could I forget, all that weird stuff in Switzerland & the forge.
The Doctor: Don't, you'll be giving me flashbacks.
Ace: So, you wanna come with us to this fair?
The Doctor: Sure, why not.
In a funhouse:
Voice: She is coming!
Creature: You the celestial Toymaker & I the Nestene Consciousness, we shall have revenge!
Celestial Toymaker: The Doctor shall pay for what she did to me all few years ago!
They both laugh.
In a park:
Ace: Come on Walter, stop sniffing.
Walter barks at a dog running.
The Doctor: Why won't you let him off?
Ace: There's been a few dog thieves around these past few months & Walter's a cocker spaniel, so he's an expensive breed.
The Doctor: Makes sense I suppose.
The Doctor sees the fair.
-Oh great, they've got a funhouse.
Dog Walker: Ace?
Ace: Ah, Here you are.
Ace hands Walter over to the dog Walker.
The Doctor: What?
Ace: Dog Walker & I don't trust myself whilst on the mauled wine.
The Doctor: Ah.
Celestial Toymaker: (voice) Come On Doctor.
Ace: Professor?
Celestial Toymaker: (voice) Doctor.
The Doctor: The Toymaker, he's calling me.
Ace: What?
The Doctor: The Celestial Toymaker! He's here!
Ace: Oh for Christ's sake!
Graham: You sound like Will of off The Inbetweeners!
Ace: Shut-up, Professor can London not just have a normal Christmas, no war, no aliens, no fights.
The Doctor: There's no such thing as an ordinary Christmas, look at me, choking on a Brussel sprout. What is a normal Christmas? Calling out your killer uncle? Your auntie Jean showing you what her tattoos mean, Your extremely drunk sister falling on the tree, burnt roast potatoes & the extraterrestrial turkeys
Graham: What?
The Doctor & Ace walk towards the fair.
-Turkeys are aliens? Doctor? Ace? Ugh!
Graham runs after them.
In the toy room:
Celestial Toymaker: They're coming, prepare the soldiers.
Nestene Consciousness: My Autons are ready!
On the fair ground:
Ace: It looks normal, not as naff as last year.
The Doctor: Remember what is normal?
Ace: Eh?
The Doctor: Define the word define.
Ace: Define Define, you can't.
The Doctor: Exactly, it's not normal that a word doesn't have a definition.
Ace: & Your point is?
The Doctor: That not all funhouses are normal, they all have unusual aspects. Like the one that I dealt with not so long ago, there was a hole in the wall, disguised by a perception filter.
Ace: So, you think that there will be a secret room or something?
The Doctor: Exactly.
Ace: Come on then!
Ace walks towards the funhouse, Alan catches them up.
Graham: (out of Breath) What. About. Me?
Ace: Go & have a pint with lucky Kev!
The Doctor: What?
The Doctor runs after Ace, they get to the ticket booth.
Ace: Two tickets please.
Graham: Sod it.
Graham walks over to a stand which has multiple plants for prizes.
Ace & the Doctor enter the funhouse.
Ticket man: The Doctor is acquired.
Ace & The Doctor walk up a flight of stairs, The Doctor uses her sonic screwdriver.
The Doctor: Nothing yet.
Ace: Yet? Maybe this was silly, remember the psychic Circus?
The Doctor: Do I? Don't even remind me.
Ace: That got me over the fear of clowns n all.
The Doctor laughs.
The Doctor: How is Mags anyway?
Ace: She's good, settled in a nice flat near Camden loch.
The Doctor: Good for Mags.
The Doctor is still scanning, the sonic whistles.
Ace: Has it picked up something?
The Doctor: Yes.
Ace: Well?
The Doctor: Sources of Artron energy.
Ace: That's not good.
The Doctor: No, it means someone has travelled through the vortex to get here.
Ace: So not the Toymaker then?
The Doctor: No.
Ace: Could be The Master or The Rani
The Doctor: No, last time we spoke we parted on good terms.
Ace: So who is it? Rassilon? Romana? Leela?
The Doctor: I thought Braxiatel wiped your memory of Gallifrey?
Ace: Hit my head on a night out with Mel & Chantelle, it all came back to me, the slime ball, I was happy there & he went & changed it, I can never be happy, I've been cursed since the day I was born.
The Doctor: Mhm.
Ace: You never apologised you know, for all that stuff that you did too me.
Ace sits on the stairs.
The Doctor: Ace, c-
Ace is crying, The Doctor sits beside her.
Ace: You made my life hell & I had the nerve to keep going back to you over & over & over, I must have been so stupid.
The Doctor: I've ch-
Ace: Yeah & for the better!
The Doctor: I'm sorry.
Ace: Don't be. How stupid was I? To go back to you after Fenric? After Jan? After Hex? After everything!
The Doctor: Ace, please, I've said sorry.
Ace: You will be.
Ace stands up, she holds her hand up, it opens & reveals a gun.
Ace Auton: The Doctor is acquired.
The Doctor: Your an Auton!
Ace Auton: Surprise.
At a stall:
Graham is handed a plant.
Graham: What is it?
Man: Frigged if I know mate.
Graham: Thanks?
Graham walks away.
Old man: Want to know your future? If your happy?
Graham: Go on, how much?
Old Man: Free of charge.
Graham: Really?
Old Man: Yes really.
Graham: Alright then.
Old Man: In you go
Graham walks into the tent.
In the tent:
Graham sits down & so does the old man.
Old Man: So, what brings you to the fair?
Graham: My wife was meant to be here, but she's gone off chasing criminals with her mate, The Doctor.
Old Man: The Doctor you say? Hm?
Graham: You know him?
Old Man: I know everyone, after all I am a psychic medium.
The old man pulls down his hood, it is The Monk, he smiles at Graham.
In the funhouse:
Ace Auton: Through there.
The Doctor walks through the door, she is in a dark corridor, there is a ginger woman crying in the corner.
Amy: You said you were coming back.
The Doctor: Amy?
Rose: He did the same to me, he told me he'd never leave me, look how that turned out!
The Doctor: Rose?
Ace: That's what The Doctor does, lie & beat us down to our lowest.
The Doctor: Rose, I couldn't get you back to the normal world!
Rose: You could have tried!
Amy: Oh so you'll save her will you? Who's she! The original?
Ace: I was here first.
The Doctor: Just stop!
The darkness fades into light.
Celestial Toymaker: Doctor!
The Doctor: But, Ace! She's an Auton!
A panel opens in the floor next to the Toymaker.
Nestene Consciousness: Yes She is.
Celestial Toymaker: One might say, an alliance?
The Doctor: An alliance? This is just a team up? Is there more of you?
Nestene Consciousness: Yes.
The Doctor: Who?
In the tent:
The Monk: That's a lovely plant you have there, your name?
Graham: Graham.
The Monk: Graham, well where I come from we call that plant Rakweed, from the place of Raxicoricofallapatorious.
Graham laughs.
Graham: Not a planet is it?
The Monk: Yes, yes it is!
Graham gasps.
Graham: Your a green-man aren't you?
The Monk: Timelord, please.
Graham: Timelord? You mean your one of The Doctor's lot? Like The Master!
The Monk: I see that you are well educated my boy.
In the funhouse:
The Doctor: The Monk?! The Mothereen?! Autons & The Toymaker, this is beyond bad.
The Celestial Toymaker laughs.
-Ace, where is she?
The Celestial Toymaker clicks his fingers, Ace is floating in a black ball.
The Doctor: Let her go & get of of this planet now!
Nestene Consciousness: What would be the fun in that Doctor? This is our revenge.
Celestial Toymaker: Exactly!
The Doctor: Stop what your doing & leave! Now!
Celestial Toymaker: Or what?
The Doctor: You have no clue of what I'm capable of.
The Celestial Toymaker clicks his fingers, Ace is released.
Ace: Your not that person anymore are you?
The Doctor winks at Ace.
-No, don't just wink.
Auton Ace: Silence.
Ace: Oh that is sad.
Nestene Consciousness: This entire fair ground is controlled by us.
The Doctor: Who organised this?
The Monk appears with a gun held to Graham's head.
Ace: Graham!
The Monk: Why me of course.
The Doctor: This is your big revenge is it?
The Monk: Yes, since that whole Lucie Miller incident a while ago, what eventually became of her? Oh yes! She died! Just like Adric, just like Hara, Just like Amy, just like Be-
The Doctor: NO! Do not even mention her name!
Ace flinches.
-Scum like you don't even get to mention her name.
Graham: What's Ace & I's involvement in this?
The Doctor: Graham?
Graham: Oh for gods sake.
Celestial Toymaker: He's right let them go.
Ace: What?
The Doctor: Go.
Ace: But, Professor I'm no-
The Doctor: Just go Ace!
Ace looks at Graham, she's angry.
Ace: Well done.
They both leave.
Celestial Toymaker: Now Doctor! Feel the pain!
Multiple green lightning bolts shoot at The Doctor, she screams.
Outside of the funhouse:
Ace: I can't leave her.
Graham: Course you can't!
Ace: Eh?
Graham: It's Me, Me & Me & The Doctor!
Ace: I'm allowed a life too Graham! Just 'cause you gave it up doesn't m-
Graham: What about your other life? That being your marriage! Ever since The Doctor's stuck around, you've been ignoring me!
Ace: She's my friend Graham! My friend that I rarely see! She's your friend too!
Graham: You'd be your friend before your own marriage?
Ace: When your acting like a pig then yeah.
Graham: You know what go & save your precious Doctor, because we're over.
Graham walks away.
Ace: Graham! Graham! Ugh!
Ace turns back to the funhouse.
-This had better be worth my loss of marriage.
In the funhouse:
The Doctor screams, a golden ring begins to form.
Celestial Toymaker: The eternal ring is beginning to form!
The Monk: I will soon be eternal Doctor!
The Doctor: You think an eternal ring will make you immortal? Just because I'm the original?!
The Monk: Why yes Doctor, that is how it works, according to Omega & Rassilon, no?
The Doctor: I personally have to grant it, without my permission, your stuck.
Celestial Toymaker: Then you shall give us permission or we will kill you!
The Doctor: Then you won't have the ring of eternity!
Celestial Toymaker: Then we will pluck you from time.
A video plays of The Doctor's 13th incarnation running down a corridor.
The Doctor: Alright! You can have my permission!
They all laugh, The Monk walks towards the ring.
The Monk: Finally, I am immortal!
Ace appears.
Ace: Not if I have anything to do with it.
The Doctor: Ace, I told you to go.
Ace: Step away from the ring!
The Monk: You & who's army?
Ace: Me, Myself & I's army.
The Doctor: Ace!
Ace: Literally.
Ace walks towards the ring.
The Doctor: Ace no!
Ace: What will happen if I touch it?
The Doctor: Your not a Timelord, you'll be destroyed!
Nestene Consciousness: The girl is stupid!
Celestial Toymaker: Yes she is.
Motheen: Begin the harvest!
The Doctor: Harvest?
Motheen: The Rakweed shall awaken!
At a stall:
A flower begins to blossom & multiple spores.
In the funhouse:
Ace: They'll kill the human race.
They all laugh.
-I'm stopping this.
Ace walks up to the ring & grabs it, she screams.
The Doctor: Ace! No!
The Monk: Oh my.
Blood begins to come out of Ace's eyes.
The funhouse begins to crumble, Ace lets go, The Doctor is freed from the lightning, They run out.
In the field:
The Rakweed begins to fade & the Rakweed flowers explode, They run as the funhouse explodes.
The Doctor: Well, that went well. Home?
Ace: Alan & I, we had an argument.
The Doctor: Oh. This is why I don't do relationships, just think about Rose's mum, she threatened to kill me if we ended up on Mars.
Ace laughs.
Ace: Let's go back to the TARDIS.
In the TARDIS:
-I've messaged him to let him know I'm taking a break, he's fine with it, so am I, so that's good.
The Doctor: Yeah.
The Doctor fiddles with the console, The doors open, The Monk is stood in the doorway.
The Monk: The eye of harmony, where is it?
The Monk points a gun at Ace.
-Where is it?
The Doctor: Come on.
Ace: Professor.
The Doctor: I'm sorry.
In the room of harmony;
The Master pushes a button, The eye of harmony opens.
The Monk: May I have all power of the universe, now since you had the ring, you must wear it for it to complete its ritual.
Ace: No.
The Mink points the gun at her, Ace puts the ring on her head & her eyes flash white, she screams.
-Help me!
Eternus: THROUGH THE POWERS OF THE UNIVERSE, LET THERE BE LIFE UPON THIS MAN PRESENT!
The Doctor: Not if I can help it.
The Doctor sonics the eye of harmony, creating a strong wind coming from the eye, The Monk is sucked in, it begins to close up, Ace's eyes return to normal, The ring falls off.
Ace: Thanks Professor, what do we do with it?
The Doctor: A bit of black magic.
The Doctor sonics the ring, it breaks into four pieces, she picks on up & puts it into a hollow book.
Ace: What about the others?
The Doctor: We scatter them across the universe.
THE GREAT BARRIER REEF:
The Doctor places a piece of the ring inside of a coral piece.
EGYPT:
The Doctor: Long time no see.
Bernice: & you are?
The Doctor: Hello Benny.
Bernice: Doctor?
The Doctor: Take this & bury it.
The Doctor gives Bernice a piece of the ring.
Bernice: Ok.
GALLIFREY:
Romana: Of course Doctor, I understand, it shall be hidden in the deepest cove of the Cloister tower.
The Doctor: Thank you.
In the TARDIS:
The Doctor: That's the ring spread out nicely, now where too?
Ace: Anywhere in Space & Time.
The Doctor: Of course.
Ace: You once told me: There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, the seas asleep & The rivers dream, pure made of smoke & cities made of song, somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else, the teas getting cold, come on Professor, we've got work to do.
The Doctor smiles.
Ace: Anywhere.
The Doctor: Anywhere?
Ace: Anywhere.
The Doctor: Time or space.
Ace: I don't mind Professor.
The Doctor: Really?
Ace: Yeah!
The Doctor: Ok, let's see where she takes us then eh?
Ace: Yeah.
The Doctor pulls down on a lever, the TARDIS materialises.
The Doctor smiles.
The Doctor: Happy Christmas Ace.
Ace: Happy Christmas Professor.
They look up at the Ceiling.

NEXT TIME:
The Doctor: Any planet in particular? The lost moon of Poosh? Thoros-Beta? Peladon?
Ace: Thoros-Beta, sounds interesting.
Grentho: My Master.
The Doctor: Give us a name.
Grentho: Sil.
The Doctor: Sil?! Oh no.
Ace: You mean? The Daleks are still here.
Sil: Yes.
Ace: Doctor.
The Doctor looks at Ace.
-You have the choice to destroy the Daleks for ever.
The Doctor: If I do it I'll be just as bad.
Ace: Think about the freedom of the universe, all those planets occupied by The Daleks.
The Doctor: It's genocide.
Ace: What about them? They blew apart planets! Ecosystems! Children! Life!
The Doctor: But.
Ace puts her hand on The Doctor's hand.
Ace: Do it.

THE DOCTOR - RUTH WILSON
ACE MCSHANE - SOPHIE ALDRED
GRAHAM O'BRIEN - BRADLEY WALSH
BERNICE SUMMERFIELD - LISA BOWERMAN
ROMANA - JULIET LANDAU
AMY POND - KAREN GILLAN
ROSE TYLER - BILLIE PIPER
THE MONK - GRAEM GARDEN
CELESTIAL TOYMAKER - DAVID BAILIE
NESTENE CONSCIOUSNESS - NICHOLAS BRIGGS