Shatter My Reality

Claudia

The journal was slotted between two other books on Derek's bookshelf. It was a deep brown leather with a long cording that wrapped around it. Derek took in a deep breath. He could do this. It was for Stiles.

The last time Derek had opened the journal was after Laura's death. He'd found her bag of things in the hotel room she'd been staying in when she came to town. He'd opened it to find his mother's words. He couldn't bring himself to read more than a couple of passages.

There was a knock on his open door.

"Stiles." Derek wanted to apologize, but he didn't know how to start.

"I spoke to Scott." Stiles jabbed a thumb over his shoulder toward where the pack had gathered in the living room. "He said I should talk to Spencer."

Derek inhaled, catching the nerves on Stiles' scent.

"Do you really think I can trust him?"

Derek glanced down at the journal in his hands. "You're usually a pretty good judge of that yourself."

Stiles frowned, dragging a hand down his face. "That's the thing, I don't— I don't know. He seems legit, but... it doesn't make sense. There are too many questions. You spent—" Stiles shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

The nerves turned sour. Jealousy?

"You spent the afternoon with him. Do you trust him?"

Derek wanted to say something to quell the jealousy Stiles was feeling. He had no reason to be jealous.

"I spent the afternoon with him to make sure he wasn't lying. Trust is... I'm not big on it."

"So you don't trust him?" Stiles asked.

Derek held up the journal. "I'm hoping this will have some answers. It was my mother's and then it was Laura's."

"Why would that have answers about my mom and... Spencer?"

"Spencer said your mom sent him to find a Hale. I didn't know your mother, neither did Peter. Maybe Laura did."

"Or your mom," Stiles said thoughtfully.

"I don't know, but I think I remember seeing your mom's name in here."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip and nodded.

"I..." Derek cleared his throat. "I haven't read through it. I tried after Laura, but..."

"If it's too hard, you don't have to do it." Stiles took a step further into Derek's room before stopping.

"No, it's okay. Maybe we just leave them out of it?" Derek glanced passed Stiles.

Stiles nodded.

Derek gestured him forward before closing the door.

"We can skim through to see if there's something about your mother in here," Derek suggested, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Stiles took a step toward the bed before pausing. He shifted his weight, dragging a hand along the back of his neck.

"Sit," Derek ordered gruffly.

Stiles sat next to Derek. He prayed that Derek wouldn't smell his nerves.

"I don't know what we'll find in here, but whatever it is, we'll handle it. Okay?"

Stiles wanted to respond. Wanted to feel comforted by Derek's words, but it only made him more nervous.

Derek opened the journal and tried to ignore the clenching in his chest at the familiar scrawl of his mother's writing.

He flipped through, looking for any mention of Claudia.