Shatter My Reality

Let it go

Stiles reached for the door of the loft when Derek's voice gave him pause.

"Where are you going?" Derek stood across the room, his arms crossed over his chest. The pack was gathered around the table behind him.

"I have a practice session with Deaton," Stiles answered as if it were obvious. He pulled the door open.

"You're not going alone."

Stiles paused again with a sigh.

"I'll go with him," Spencer offered, stepping out of the bathroom. His hair was still damp from his shower.

"Yes, the two humans, that's wise," Peter snorted.

"I can protect him with my magic," Spencer held out a hand, and a small flame appeared in the palm.

"The magic you can't control?" Derek raised his brows at Spencer.

Spencer closed his fist, extinguishing the flame. His face crestfallen.

"Derek," Scott scolded.

Spencer shook his head. "No, he's right. Derek, you should go with him."

Derek and Stiles' eyes met. Both trying to read the other to gauge their reaction to the suggestion.

"If you'd rather Scott—"

"It's fine. Can we just go?" Stiles gestured to the hall.

"I got this," Scott nodded to Derek, who gave him a questioning look.

Stiles was already out the door and heading down the stairs.

Scott caught Derek's arm before he could follow after. "I can see that you two have gotten close. Make sure he's okay?"

Derek clenched his jaw, ignoring the smirk on Peter's face. He gave a nod and hurried after Stiles.

"What's the rush?" Derek huffed when he caught up.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're out of time for me to know how to do..." Stiles held up his hands as if he could summon the magic like his brother had. But that was just it. He couldn't just summon it.

"We've done this before without your magic. We can do it again."

"Did we?" Stiles snapped. "Look around you, we've lost so many people, and if I can't—" he swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he shoved the gear shift into drive.

"It's not up to you. We'll do this together."

"I told you last night, I can't lose you. I won't. So I have to figure this out."

Derek didn't want to have a repeat of last night's argument, so he stayed quiet.

Stiles, not usually one for silence, welcomed it. He hated arguing with Derek, and he was sure that if they kept it up, he was going to say something he wasn't ready for Derek to hear. The problem was that he might be running out of time for Derek to hear it at all. Would Stiles be okay with him never knowing? If he died, it wouldn't matter. But if Derek died. Could he live with the fact that Derek died not knowing just how truly loved he was? Tears pricked at his eyes at the thought.

"Why do you already feel guilty?" Derek asked, glancing at Stiles with furrowed brows.

Stiles looked at Derek and thought about how he would say it. Would he build up to it? Tell him all the things that he admired about him first? Or would he blurt it out? He tried to imagine doing it both ways. He tried to imagine Derek's response.

"Stiles?" Derek growled. "What are you planning?"

Stiles snorted a laugh. "I'm not planning anything, but thanks for the vote of confidence."