Book #2

investment

relationships aren't transactional
they're an investment
you invest your time
and money
and emotion
and energy
and you hope to get a return on your investment

you don't give to get
you invest knowing there's some risk
and hope that you get at least something back
that you'll at least come out with a little more than you put in

and when people invest in you
they hope they get a return
they hope you invest in them as well
they're investing regardless of whether they get that or not
but if they consistently don't get anything back
they're gonna stop investing

[i'm hitting a wall here
and that wall is
i've been putting in
and i've noticed you saying what you want
but you seem to assume that in giving you what you want
that i'll get what i want from that
but you haven't been giving back
i'm not worth your time or energy
and so what i'm thinking
is that i don't think it's worth it
for me
to keep doing this]

to be entirely fair
this isn't the case for everyone

some people really like the stability of low return investments
they get more out of saying they have stocks
than they get from returns
but they also tend not to invest a whole lot
maybe they've cut their losses
or maybe they just prefer to hold cash
you can't lose if you're not playing risky

some people are high ballers
and after maybe testing the waters
throw everything they have into a small handful of stocks
sometimes they win big
sometimes they stick through the lows
and sometimes they lose it all

the investment
is worth the return
to me
and it's worth the loss
the losses
as many as i've had

to hurt is to live
to love is to be alive
that's all.