Operation Senior Year : Edwin|✓

029| After taste🥀🎤

Broken. Shattered. In shards.

That's me.

I was staring at the tomb stone, hoping it wasn't real.

The fact I knew before hand, still did not prepare me for the punch in my gut and for the agony.

Debra Ugbonmma Nwankpa

A daughter, friend, best friend and bundle of joy.

Not how long
But how well.

Gravity is holding me back.
-Debra.

Signed - Edwin Amarachi James-Ohaneze.
(Best friend to the deceased.)

My eyes branched over to the program in my hand. To the tribute I wrote for her.

Do you miss me like I miss you?
Messed around and got attached to you.
Friends can break you heart too, and I'm always tired but never of you.
(I hate you, I love you by Gnash and Olivia O'Brien.)

I miss you. Come back.
You know it's not the same as it was.

I hope you're in a better place like you said you'll be. I hope you're okay.

I'm not okay, but this too will pass. Everyone misses you.
Change your mind and come back.

But it's too late now.
I miss you and I love you.

- Amy ( the range to your rover).

We wore white, for her burial. Just like she asked us to.

I was taking deep breaths.  I was forgetting how to breathe. It was becoming so hot out in this garden, even though it was harmattan season.

A lot if people from Agatha High came. They were wailing and crying.

I smiled when I thought of what she would have said if she was here.

'i tend to have that irresistible effect on people.'

What surprised me, however was when I saw most of my friends. They came.

I smiled and wiped a stray tear from my eyes and went to meet them at the back.

"Hey," I said when I got there.
"Thank you all for coming."

Oba, Adeyemi, Rodney, Nneka, Dozie and Beauty were there and they pulled me into a hug almost immediately.

Another stray tear escaped my eyes.

When they pulled away from me, I had to take a deep breath and gaze up at the sky.

"How are you, Winnie?"
Oba asked me.

"To be very honest with you, I want to die. Because how can you live when you can not breath?" I asked.

The pastor announced that it was time to lower her into the ground.

Everyone began to move forward and I did not even realize that all my friends were gone, till I looked at my side and saw Rodney.

"Hey," he greeted softly.

"Hey," I responded.

"Don't you want to see them lower her to the ground?"
He asked.

I shook my head. "Not really."

"But if you don't, you might hate yourself later." He advised.

And he was right.

I looked at him, wiping the tears falling from my eyes.

"Can you come with me?"
I asked expectantly.

He smiled softly and took my hand firmly. "Anything for you, Edwin."

He took my hand and we began making our way to the front of the garden, where she was about to be lowered.

I saw her face one last time.
It held a small smile or maybe I was imagining things.

But when they covered the ground, I realized that my lungs were stuffy.

Rodney had let go of my hand and I began to rush over to the floor. I was about to go with her.

But people held me back.
Just like gravity was holding her back.

"Let me go!" I yelled. "Let me go with her!" I yelled even louder.

I began to cry, just as Rodney held me to his chest.

My white dress was probably dirty by now, and the crowd was sobbing as well.

I couldn't help but remember her favorite song, As it was by Harry Styles. (Play it now)

Holding me back,
Gravity's holding me back,
I want you to hold out the palm of your hand,
Why don't we leave it at that?

Nothing to say,
When everything gets in the way,
Seems you cannot be replaced,
And I'm the one who will stay.

Oh oh.
In this world, it's just us.
You know it's not the same as it was.

In this world, it's just us.
You know it's not the same as it was.

As it was, as it was.

You know it's not the same.

I was numb for the rest of the ceremony. I sat, staring straight ahead. I didn't move, and nothing made sense any way.

Rodney stuck to my side, holding my hand, wiping my tears and giving me reassuring looks.

I only hoped that Debra was good wherever she was.

Because I wasn't good.

The after taste of her absence was absolutely bitter.

And I wanted her back.