Into your arms

House

Leahs Pov

After driving back from Chloes house I make my way straight to Emilia. I tried to call her from the car again but of course she didn't pick up. I hope she is alright. I just want to know that she is okay.

I feel strange as I come to her house. I wasn't here for a long time but still looks the same. I get nervous. Why am I nervous? I'm fine. She is the one who needs help. I ring at the door. For a while nothing happens but I won't go away. I won't give up that easily. She deserves my help.

Then the door opens but it's not Emilia. It's a man. For a moment I'm confused but then I get it. This must be him. This must be her boyfriend. He is very tall and doesn't look like he has showered in the last week. He looks disgusting. I immediately remember why I rather love women.

"How can I help you?" He asks. He seems friendly but doesn't look like it.

"Are you Mark?" I ask just to be sure. Maybe it's not him.

"Yes and who are you?"

"I'm Leah. Emilias friend." I say. I'm surprised she didn't tell him about me.

"Okay and what is it I can do for you?" He asks again. He sounds a bit bored. I try to look past him but he is to big.

"I just want to make sure that Emilia is okay." I say.

"Why wouldn't she?" His face gets a bit more serious.

"She didn't reply to any of my messages and I didn't see her for a while." I explain. Maybe it all isn't that bad but based on his look I get the feeling that something is wrong here. He also doesn't smell good. He smells disgusting. Probably a smoker. I never thought Emilia would date a smoker.

"She is very busy at work and is also a bit sick at the moment but nothing too bad. She also broke her phone about a week ago which is why you can't reach out to her. Other than that she is totally fine here." He says and smiles at me in the end. I don't know if I can believe him.

"Can I come in and make sure she is okay? I just want to see her." I say.

"That isn't a good idea. She is sleeping and the house is very messy. I'm a chaotic." He laughs.

"She is really okay?" I ask again. I want to see her. I didn't see her for so long. Maybe it's also because my heart always wants her around. How can she love that ugly and smelly man and not me. I'm a hundred times better than him.

"Yes. She is perfectly fine. I promise and I take good care of her. You don't have to worry." He says. I can't really do something against it. He seems okay so I just hope that he is telling the truth. I still feel like I should do more. Maybe I'm reading too much into this and there is really nothing wrong. I'm just dramatic or jealous.

"Alright." I nod.

"That's it?" He steps back and closes the door a bit.

"I think that's it." I also step back. He gives me a nod and closes the door. I keep standing there for a moment but it feels weird. My feelings didn't get better because of this meeting. At least I know who this guy is now. I don't know if that is good though. I just hope that she is really just sick and he will treat her right. Other than his look he seemed to be okay.

I go back home and sit down in my kitchen. I keep staring at my phone waiting for a message from Emilia that I know I won't receive. I just want her back as my friend. I accepted that I will never have her as my girlfriend but I at least want her as my friend. How can she keep picking these guys over me when I'm right here for years. I wish she would feel the same. It feels ridiculous and I tried to stop loving her for so many years but I just can't.
I receive a call from Chloe in that second. I pick it up. She is the best person to talk to about that. Maybe I should tell her about my feelings.

"Hello." She says as I pick up.

"Hi."

"I just wanted to check if you got any news." She says.

"I was at her house and I met her boyfriend." I tell her.

"Oh and how was it?" She asks.

"He said that she is busy and sick and her phone is also broken which is why she didn't write back." I say.

"But why would she tell us both that we can't meet anymore?" Chloe says. She is right. That doesn't make sense.

"Maybe because she is so busy." I say. "Overall Mark seemed to be a nice guy apart from his look." I add.

"Yeah but obviously you say that. You love women." Chloe laughs.

"I guess."

"So you think he is okay and not the reason?" She asks. I can't answer that. I'm not sure what to think. I want it to be true.

"I don't know. He wouldn't let me see her though." I say.

"Maybe I should also go there and take a look at him." Chloe suggest.

"Maybe that isn't such a bad idea. I'm still worried about her." I say. I'm always worried about her.

"I know. I like how close you two are." She says. She doesn't really know how close I would like to be with her. I think I should tell her. I need to tell her. I just want to talk to someone about it because I kept it in for years. I never told anyone but still I feel like everyone knows.

"There is something else about that." I start.

"What do you mean?" She doesn't get it. I struggle for a moment. I never said these words to someone. I almost didn't dare to say them to myself.

"I love her." I just say it. It felt good to say it. It came out easier than I thought.

"I know. I also love her." She says. No. She thinks I mean like friends.

"No not like that. I mean I really love her. I'm in love with her." I repeat.

"What?" She seems surprised. Looks like it wasn't obvious to her.

"I never told anyone but I have loved her for years. I accepted that she will never love me back but that is why I care so much about her." Chloe doesn't say anything for a moment.

"Does she know?" She asks.

"No, I didn't want to ruin our friendship because I know that she doesn't feel the same. There is no reason to tell her." I sigh. I wish I could tell her.

"I'm not gonna lie, I wish she would feel the same. At least I would know she is in good hands then." Chloe laughs.

"I guess but it's not gonna happen. I accepted it years ago." I sigh. Some part of me still didn't accept it.

I just try to convince myself that she is fine and I'm just wrong and make things up. Maybe she is in a time in her life when she realises that I'm not the most important person in her life. I can't blame her for that. I won't ever be able to blame her for anything. If she ever wants to spend time with me again, I will say yes in a second. I will always say yes to her.