Into your arms

Dear Leah

Dear Leah,

I want to start this with the most important sentence. I love you. I know that I should have said that years ago and it was all you ever wanted to hear. I will say it a thousand times now. I won't ever stop saying it. I never felt so good while saying these words to someone. Whenever I look into your eyes, I know that I have to say it. It's so easy to say to you because for the first time I believe myself while saying it.

I always felt a deep connection to you from the moment I met you but I never really put it into the romantic drawer. I just thought you would be my best friend, which you are. You are my best friend. Actually you are my everything. You are everything I ever dreamt of. I just didn't know that it was so close to me the entire time.

I said this a hundred times already but you are my superhero. I know you don't think that about yourself but I do. No one ever did something like this for me. You saved me, you saved me twice. There is nothing in this world that I can possibly do to thank you for that. You risked your life to make mine a bit better. I know I'm a mess and after running from Mark I thought no one would ever want me again but you look at me and all these doubts go away. Everything disappears when I look into your blue eyes. I love your eyes. You make me forget about everything and every flaw that is part of me. I'm not perfect but you give me the feeling that I'm still perfect for you. The way you treat me was something completely new. You showed me how someone should be treated. You showed me what true love looks like. I didn't know it before. All these men made me believe that love is control and manipulated me into thinking what they did was normal. You were the first person to treat me like a human again.

It's like Mark was this big cloud over me that covered everything in black and you were my sunshine. I always looked forward to seeing you. Even while I was still with him, I was just thinking about when I would see you again because that was the only good thing about my life. I thought my life had no purpose anymore and there was nothing to fight for. I was sure you would hate me and gave up on me after I ghosted you but you didn't. When you came to the house to look for me, I realised there is something to fight for. I realised that there is someone who cares for me and doesn't let me down. You gave me so much hope and strength with just showing up there and care for me. You thought about me and didn't just accept the messages I sent you. You were the only one who ever came back.

After running from Mark, I had no idea what to do or where to go but then you came to my mind and I immediately felt something warm in my chest. I knew that you would keep me save and help me. As soon as I came into your house, I knew I made the right decision. You gave me so much safety and security. I know you would always protect me from everything. I was completely overwhelmed by how good you were to me. You were so gentle and lovely. No one has ever cared for me that much. No one was ever so gentle. How you held me in your arms that night was all I needed. I was already falling in love with you but I didn't realised it. It was a complete unknown feeling for me but a good one. It felt so amazing but I was scared because I had no idea what it was. I realised it when you kissed me in the hospital. This kiss was by far the best kiss I ever had. Suddenly all those cheesy sayings made sense to me. I felt it all. The butterflies and the fireworks. I knew that I don't ever want to kiss someone else again. I want to kiss you for the rest of my life, Le.

I fully trust you. I will give everything of me to you. I want to spend a normal and cosy little life with you. I don't want all that drama anymore. Marrying you is the best thing I ever did. It's the first time that I'm making a decision that feels like it's a good one. I never loved anyone like you. I don't want that feeling to stop. When I close my eyes I see our future in a tiny house and you playing football with our kids. I hope that this is how our story ends. I want you to cook dinner for me, give me these random kisses, be romantic and protect me. I love your gentle kisses and sweet words. I melt when you smile at me. I love when the sun shines and your freckles pop up. I love how you stroke my hand when I get nervous. You look at me like I'm the only one for you. I missed that with everyone else. You are perfect for me. You are overall perfect. I hate that I didn't see how perfect you are for so long. I will catch up every kiss and every word that I didn't give you for so long.

I will love you all my life, every second. You are my sweetie. I love you.

Your wife,
Emilia