Into your arms

Confess

Emilias Pov

Leah got me a heating blanket. I'm always cold so this is actually a very thoughtful present. She is acting so caring and loving the entire time. In the first two weeks I found it sweet and enjoyed it but now after four weeks, it's starting to annoy me. I'm not used to someone treating me like that and somehow I want her to stop. This weird drawn feeling for her keeps coming up and her being so caring just makes it worse. I want to breathe and do stuff on my own but I fear that Leah thinks I'm not capable of that. She treats me like I'm a baby. I want to have my own life but I know that I can't get away from here. I don't want to. I enjoy the nights. The way Leah holds me in the night gives me so much safety. I need that. I can't sleep without her by my side. I know she just means this in a nice way which is why I don't want to tell her how much it annoys me. Deep down I know that all this is what I need.

Leah has training today which gives a bit of time on my own. I like that. I enjoy the time when she is around and as soon as she leaves I wish she would be here again but then also I can do some stuff on my own. Even just cleaning which I used to hate. I just want to do something myself.

"I'm heading to the shops after training. Anything you need?" Leah asks as she collects her keys.

"No I'm fine." I say.

"Sure?" She asks again. Why can't she just listen to what I say?

"Yes Leah. Yes I'm sure. You don't have to always ask me three or four times. I'm capable of deciding something with my first answer." I slightly huff at her. I see that she didn't expect me to say that.

"Okay sorry." She steps back. I don't want to hurt her because she is the only one I have left. I don't want to scare her off. I look at her and wish I could say I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. I needed to say that.

"I'll be back at 4." She says. I just give her a nod. I don't feel like saying anything else to her. I don't want to make her feel worse. She has done so much for me. Without her I would have probably been dead by now.

Leah leaves and I just keep sitting on the couch with my head leaned back and my eyes closed. I enjoy the quietness for a moment. I know that in a few minutes I wish Leah would be here again but for now I'm actually happy to be alone. This doesn't last long as suddenly my phone rings. I look down on it and get slightly confused. My mum.

She never usually calls me, neither does my dad. I don't have a good relationship with my parents since they don't really seem to care about me. They live in Ireland and never visited me here. Plus they are very homophobic. Especially my dad. That is why they also never met Leah. Even though I have known Leah for so long I never let her meet my parents because I want to protect her from what my dad will say to her. I don't know why my mum is calling me all of the sudden and I think for a moment before accepting it. I take a deep breath and answer the phone.

"Hello."

"Hello sweetheart." My mum says. Sweetheart. I hate when she calls me that because she doesn't mean it.

"Don't call me that. What do you want?" I hate when she plays the nice card.

"I just want to ask you something." She says. She doesn't even ask me how I am. She doesn't care about me. I didn't speak to my dad for ages.

"What?"

"There is a job for you at your dads firm. He wants you to come back here and take it." My mum says. I can't believe what I hear. He doesn't speak to me for months and then wants me to give up my life here to go and work for him. To be honest there isn't much that is holding me here but there is Leah. I definitely can't leave Leah.