Into your arms

Not alone

Emilias Pov

I've been at Leah's house for a week now. I never really went outside because I'm too scared. Mark didn't show up here yet which is a bit of a relief. I just hope he will stop looking for me or Leah. Leah had been great. She bought me new clothes and all the things I need. She put up the spare bedroom for me to have an own room and she even cooked for me. Her cooking really improved but that wasn't the best part about it. The best part was that she cooked for me. I was so used to cooking for Mark and never have something done for me that this felt like the best food ever.

I hate the nights tho. When I'm laying alone in that room and my mind just waits for Mark to come in and hurt me. This is when this weird feeling comes to my body again. I wish I was with Leah. Every night I wish I was with Leah. It's a strange desire and it doesn't feel like I just want to spend time with a friend. It feels like more. I didn't dare to go after that feeling in the end. Until tonight.

I'm laying in bed once again on my own. Leah is in her room. I want to go there. There is nothing I would rather do. I need her. I need her with me so badly because I'm so scared right now. She always makes me feel safe with just her presence. I act like a baby but I know I have to do it. After a while of my brain fighting with itself, I choose to get up. I get out of my bed and quietly make my way to Leah's room. I hope she isn't already sleeping.

I carefully open the door but hear no noise from her. I get in with a slow step.

"Leah?" I almost whisper.

"Emilia? Are you okay?" I hear Leah and see how she lifts her chest and turns on the lights.

"No." I say. I can't say yes. I'm totally not okay and I think she knows that.

"What's wrong?" Leah asks.

"I'm scared." I'm still standing in the door. I don't dare to move. I don't know if she wants me to come in.

"Scared of what?" Leah's voice sounds so soft and nice.

"Of sleeping alone." I let out. I feel so stupid but I can't deny it. "Can I sleep here? With you?" I shyly ask. This is so stupid. I feel like a little kid that just had a nightmare and needs to sleep in their parents bed now.

"Yes of course. Come here." Leah moves to the side to create space for me in her bed. I'm so thankful for her saying yes. I make my way over to her and get into bed next to her. I immediately feel better. I want to be closer to her but I don't want to send her weird signals. I hear her breathing faster than usual. She seems nervous. Why is she nervous? I'm nervous as well.

"Can I come closer to you?" I quietly ask.

"You can come as close as you want to." Leah softly says. I slowly move to her side. She is the only person I want to be close to. I wanted to do this for days. I rest my head on Leah's chest. Somehow I wait for her to push me away because that's what always happened to me but she wraps her arm around me. She cuddles with me. Something no one has ever done. I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach and my cheeks get hot. I feel how my lips form a smile. Why am I smiling? What is happening to me? I try to move my head to smell at her without her recognising. I don't want her to think that I would want anything strange from her. She is my best friend so I don't want to ruin that.

"I'm always waiting for him to come through the door." I mumble. My hand is laying on Leah's stomach and I softly grab her shirt while saying this.

"Here?"

"Everywhere. I feel like I'm still there and he is still about to come through the door and hurt me." I say.

"He won't. You can always sleep here if that is more comfortable for you. I want you to feel safe because you are safe." Leah says at me.

"He always used to come in when he wanted to sleep with me. My body is still kind of waiting for him to come and do that again. It was the only time I had company and I was wishing for him to come the entire time because then I wouldn't be alone but when he actually came I wanted him to leave again because it hurt so much." I tell her. I hear Leah sighing and processing what I said. I know it's hard to take but it's the truth.

"I wish I could kill him. I mean it. I don't think I could keep myself in control if I ever see him again." Leah says while leaning her chin on my head. This touch feels amazing. I wish she would kiss my head. Why am I having these weird thoughts again?

"No please don't. I don't want the last person who is there for me to go to prison." I say with a chuckle.

"Okay then I will just punch him really hard." Leah says instead which makes me smile. I love how protective she is.

"Alright." I move my head a bit. I realise that I'm still holding on to Leah's shirt. I quickly let go and act like it never happened.

"Thank you for letting me sleep here, Le." I say in a whisper. Le. I don't know where that came from but it sounds like a sweet nickname.

"Le." Leah chuckles. Oh god, what if she thinks that I wanted to indicate some feelings with that which I obviously don't have.

"Sorry. I don't know why I said it." I quickly hustle back.

"No, I like it. No one ever called me that." Leah says. I think the name suits her. It sounds sweet. A sweet name for a sweet person.

"Night, Le." I mumble. I like to use that name for her.

"Night. Sleep tight and if you feel scared or anything, just wake me up." Leah says. It's thoughtful of her to say that. I close my eyes and every time that my mind goes back to Mark and the fear he causes in me, I think about Leah and that I'm safe in her arms. Her arms really became my favourite place to be.