The Fake Wife

Do You Love ME?

Jake

Alison wiggled out of my tight embrace in search of my eyes. She looked at me with streaming tears still and asked again. "Do you love me?" Her voice was husky, but the question was much louder this time.

That was the question she had never asked before today, and lately, I did it myself every day. Do I love her? I was not sure. I loved Gracie for years. The feeling was so intense that I was not sure if I could ever love like that again.

Her eyes did not stop scanning mine. "Because I love you with all my heart."

I could see the hopelessness on Alison's face, as she expected me to answer anything remotely close to her words. But should I lie now and just go on with it and perhaps I would feel that intense burning love again? No!! Lying any further would fix nothing.

I held her jaw between my fingers, and my thumb caressed her cheek. "I care for you and now I see you as my wife. Someone that I want to introduce to people, someone that I want to be around all the time and make plans with."

Backing away from me, she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and hissed. "That isn't enough."

I nodded my head, agreeing with what she said. Alison wanted more, and I understood it. "I know it may not seem that way to you, darling."

I pointed to her ears. She was wearing my great-grandma's earrings. "Those earrings. That story I told you. It was real. I never told it to any other women and to gift you something so special to me had a big meaning behind it. In England, I realised I did not want you away from me anymore, Alison."

My left hand landed on her arm, and I caressed it with the back of my fingers, not taking my eyes from her face. "I told you they loved each other very much, and I told the truth. But what I didn't mention was they were in an arrangement married, and it wasn't all roses at the start. As my mother said once, we choose love. And they did it. They worked in their marriage every day till no longer needed."

I moved closer and brushed my finger over her ring. "And that is what I am trying to do, and perhaps since I brought you home. I didn't want you in my life Alison and I am sorry about that. But I want to work every day on our marriage to make it greater than already is."

Alison lifted her eyes, staring at me, and her lips trembled. "Do you love her?"

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I could not still be in love with Gracie, not after everything she did and told me. I held Alison's hand resting on her knees and this time she did not move it away. As if that small gesture would make me love her instead of Gracie.

I looked into her tearing eyes, and they were lost. "I loved her for a long time, but not anymore. Gracie abandoned my boys. And I can't forgive her for that. You have my word that I want nothing to do with her. She doesn't belong to me anymore."

Alison moved her hand from me and looked out of the window. I knew how she felt. I had loved Gracie, but I did not love her.

She walked to the floor-to-ceiling window. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still dark. I got up from the sofa and took two strides to where she was but kept my distance. I did not want to cradle her in the open space.

"Today was too much, darling. Why don't you let me help you into a bath? You should rest and I will order us food. It's getting late and I don't think you have had much to eat today."

I waited patiently to see what she had to say. If she would allow me to bathe and feed her, but Alison only shook her head. Her breath came out harshly through her nose. "You should leave. I want to be alone."