It's been a week since my consultation. I looked at the ton of papers on my table and the view of city lights in front. It is already nine and I just finished all of it.
I breathed in deeply as I leaned my back on my swivel chair. My head is aching but it's all because of my paperworks these past few days.
Kinuha ko ang tasa ng kape ko pero kaagad ring nadismaya ng maramdaman ko ang lamig nito. I was supposed to call for Arnold but I remember that it was already nine and he had already got home. Muli akong nagapakawala ng malalim na hininga.
I looked at the city lights again at muling pumasok sa isipan ko ang iniiwasan ko.
It just felt so unreal to think that everything in my dream happened. Because if it's all true, does it mean I was in a serious relationship?
And it's been a week since I and Gaston talked. Maybe tomorrow he'll be here. And I can't wait anymore. I've been uneasy these whole week because of it. But just like what Dr. Ignacio said, I shouldn't rush things.
I've tried averting my mind and I think I am quite successful at it? I mean at the end of the day, after all these tons of paperworks. My mind will constantly go back to what happened to me a week ago. Napapaisip pa rin ako, and at times, I could still clearly hear her voice in my head.
Tila hindi ako pinapayagan na makalimot.
I touched my lips as I felt like I could still remember how she tasted in mine. Of how soft her skin was against mine.
Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga ng maramdam ko ang unti-unting pag-iinit ng pakiramdam ko sa mga naisip
This won't do me good. Not good at all.
I was supposed to go home but I decided to buy some black coffee on the way. I could feel my energy wearing off as I drove the almost empty street. I stopped at a well known coffee shop near my former university. It was still open and I could still see customers from the inside.
I parked my car properly and got out. At this hour, the coffee shop is still quite busy. Marami-rami ring customer kaya pumila muna ako saglit. I ordered one large black coffee and I just waited a few minutes for it to be served.
I looked at the students as they studied hard. I was once one of them...no I'm actually still one of them. I have not yet finished my second course. At mag-aaral pa ako pagdating ko ng unit ko, so I need to have my coffee more.
I went out as I received my order. I was at the entrance when I saw a woman standing, probably waiting for a taxi or jeep. But what caught my attention was her long wavy hair.
It was just like hers.
I swallowed hard. Her back is on mine as I watched her enter the jeep that stopped right in front of her.
Biglang dumagundong sa kaba ang dibdib ko. The jeep left and I just had the urge to see her again. I need to see her face.
I stepped outside and stood near the highway. And I found her, seated inside the jeepney.
Nakaramdam ako ng pagkadismaya ng makita ko ang kabuuan ng mukha nito. It wasn't her I was looking for. I just know it even though I can't remember her face. I was sure of it.
Huminga ako ng malalim muli. I can't help but let out a bitter smile. What am I doing? I can't even sure myself if everything is true...if what I am remembering right now really happened. I need to verify everything first.
I walked to my car disappointedly but after a few steps, I stopped again.
I looked back again and looked at the same spot where the woman stands before getting inside the jeepney.
