you're all i want || jinkook ✔️

//40 - "What did you say your name was again?"//

     Jin tosses and turns, unable to sleep as he dreads for the next day to come despite taking his meds. He had messaged Jungkook earlier and he was more than happy to know that he decided to do it, to say the least. But his wheels are turning and his anxiety is rising as he thinks about facing that man and in turn, it's making it hard to fall asleep. He checks his phone and groans as it's past one in the morning.

He gets out of bed to get some water, hoping that it could help even just a little. He steps out onto the balcony for a moment and taps his fingers on the railing, kicking himself for forgetting to buy cigarettes today. As he does, he begins to stare off.

     What if they let him go?
     What if they don't believe me?
Was it really my fault?
     What if he tries to come after me?

     So many 'what if's' run through his mind that he begins to hyperventilate, his hands growing clammy. He pants and he tries to take deep breaths to soothe himself but he can't. He runs back inside for his phone and as much as he doesn't want to disturb him, he calls Taeyong, hoping he answers. He does after two rings.

     "Jinnie? What's going on?" He answers groggily, his voice husky from just waking up.

     "T-tae, I... what if my testimony doesn't help? I-I don't know... I just—" his voice quivers.

     "Listen to me Jin. Take deep breaths with me, ok? In... and out..." Taeyong says softly, inhaling and exhaling slowly in time with Jin. "Are you outside or inside?"

     "Outside," he mumbles.

     "Ok. Look around for me and tell me what you see."

     Jin exhales as his eyes scan down below. "I see trash cans."

     "What else?"

     "I see the streetlights, I think flyers on the posts, loose trash is being blown by the wind," he replies softly, slowly feeling his anxiety creep away as he distracts himself by playing ISpy.

     "Can you see the moon from there?"

     Jin looks up at the mention of it. "Yes. It's very bright and big, there's some stars too."

     They take a couple more breaths together and once his is steady, Taeyong speaks again.

     "How are you feeling?"

     Jin shuts his eyes, holding onto the railing and leaning against it slightly. "Better."

     "Good."

     Jin bites his lip. "I'm sorry for waking you up. I couldn't sleep and my mind just kept racing."

"Don't apologize for something you can't control, please. I'm not mad or anything, in fact, I'm glad I was able to help you. It's scary and as much as I say I understand, I can never put myself in your shoes and fully grip how you feel," Taeyong gently explains. "But you're doing great, you gotta give yourself some credit."

     Jin hums, nodding despite knowing he can't see him. "Thank you Tae. For everything."

"You don't have to thank me," Jin can imagine the small smile on his face. "Try to get some sleep, it's gonna be a long day and you need your rest. Call me if you need anything beforehand. I'll be by your place to pick you up later."

"Ok. I'll see you later."

They hang up shortly after and Jin takes one last deep breath before heading back inside, feeling tuckered out from just everything. He slides into bed and his eyelids flutter shut, wrapping his soft sheets tightly around himself.

==

     Jin plays with a loose thread on his sweater sleeve as he sits in the car, his legs bouncing nervously. He asked Taeyong to stay with him for a little bit as they have some time before they have to go inside the courthouse and of course, he agreed.

     "It'll be ok," Taeyong tries his hand at calming him down and Jin reaches for his hand, wanting something to ground him. "I'll be here every step of the way."

     Jin sighs softly. "I know," he whispers and he gazes up at him. "Thank you."

     Taeyong nods with a smile and grips his hand. "Do you still need a minute or are you ready to head in?"

     Jin shuts his eyes, inhaling through his nose and exhaling slowly out of his mouth. "I think I'm ready."

     "Ok. Let's go."

     Taeyong gets out of the car and hurries to the passenger side, offering his hand after opening Jin's door. Jin takes it graciously and grips it tightly as they walk up the stairs, moving closer to him while they try to maneuver around the crowd of people posted outside. They walk in and Jin spots Dojin, only recognizing him from tv. His eyes then avert to Jungkook who is standing in between him and Dojin's lawyer. Jin's heart races when Jungkook's eyes lock with his. He shouldn't be surprised that he's there but what he truly is confused about is how quickly Jungkook's expression switches to disgust when he spots the pair.

     Why? Is he seriously jealous right now?

They walk up to them and Dojin greets them, looking very grateful to see him there. He's aware of who he is because of Jungkook.

"Thank you so much for doing this."

Jin gives him a tight smile but doesn't say anything, he just nods.

"Hello. And you are?" Dojin asks, offering his hand up to Taeyong and Taeyong takes it, shaking it.

"Lee Taeyong. I'm here for emotional support."

"That's great of you to come support your boyfriend."

Jin's eyes widen, letting go of Taeyong's hand and Taeyong just chuckles.

"Oh, it's nothing like that. We're just friends."

Jin notices Jungkook perk up as he admits to only being friends and he fights the urge to roll his eyes. Not here, not the time.

"Sorry for my assumption," Dojin is quick to say but the two brush it off, not wanting to make it any more awkward than it is.

Dojin's lawyer steps in and lets them know that it's time to go into the courtroom and they follow him, Jin and Taeyong sitting in the front bench behind Dojin and his lawyer. Jungkook tries to sit in between them but is unsuccessful as Taeyong quickly takes his place beside Jin. He huffs sharply through his nose but decides to next on the other side of Jin instead. At least he'll be next to him still.

"I'm glad you agreed to come," he leans over to whisper and Jin nods.

     "I'm aware," he states, staring straight ahead and he feels Taeyong's hand snake towards his, taking it.

     "You still doing ok?"

     Jin turns to look at him and he smiles. "Yes, thank you."

     Jungkook leans forward. "So did you guys meet at uni? I never heard of you before."

     Jin shuts his eyes with a grimace but Taeyong doesn't take offense. Instead, he answers with a smile which manages to irk Jungkook.

     "We went to the same high school. We only reconnected when he moved back home. How long have you known Jinnie?"

     Jungkook purses his lips. "We were roommates back in uni," his tone saccharine despite how he's truly feeling. "Not long but I still consider him a good friend."

     Jin looks at him with a confused look.

     "What did you say your name was again?" Taeyong asks and Jungkook stares at him blankly.

     He's about to answer when the judge walks into the courtroom. Jin was so distracted with the awkward conversation that he didn't notice when Professor Cho was brought out. Now that he's aware, his eyes migrate towards him and his stomach instantly churns. So much for being prepared.