you're all i want || jinkook ✔️

//44 - "Can't or won't"//

     Jin spends the rest of the day with his parents and after having dinner, he bids them goodnight and heads on home. His apartment is a couple of blocks away but he doesn't mind the walk. It gives him some time to think and enjoy the warm night.

     He arrives and plops down on his bed with a sigh, laying his head on the back rest. It's been a long and exhausting day but a rewarding one as well.

     He had messaged Changbin and Jisung while at his parents and have set the next day to hang out. Even his manager messaged him and told him to take the next few days off to recuperate from today, which was very nice of him to do.

     He fiddles around for a bit, not in the mood to watch tv right now. He taps his foot as he ponders whether he should text Jungkook or not, wondering if it is too soon or if it's too late. With a soft huff, he pulls his phone out and shoots him a message. There are some things they need to talk about, some that he really wishes to know.

He busies himself as he waits for Jungkook to get there, cleaning his whole apartment, leaving it spotless. He jumps when he hears a knock at the door and shaking his hands to relieve his jitters, he goes to open the door. He's surprised to see Jungkook holding a basket of fresh fruit and he tilts his head.

     Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he holds it up. "A little housewarming gift."

     Jin smiles softly and takes it from him. "Thank you. You can go ahead into the living room, I'll just be a minute."

He steps aside to let him in and goes to the kitchen to put the fruit away, Jungkook looking around his apartment. He's not sure if his favorite part is all of the little knick knacks and figurines displayed or his soft scent that envelopes the small room. He likes it a lot and of course he does—he likes Jin a lot too.

     Jin comes around the corner and while keeping some distance, sits down next to him.

"I'm so happy you invited me over," Jungkook says. "It's really nice, it suits you."

     Jin smiles a little. "Thank you."

     Jungkook can tell he has something on his mind with the way he's fidgeting and he perks up. "What's up?"

     "Well, I want to start by saying thank you again. Um.. I've been wondering about this for a minute but.. how?"

     Jungkook tilts his head. "How what? How did I manage to set things up?"

Jin nods and Jungkook adjusts himself, locking his fingers together.

"Well, I was trying to find any more victims of his and Dojin was the first to reach out to me and like you, the others followed. I stayed up all night researching so I can set things right and of course, a little bit of snooping in my uncle's office was in order," he chuckles a little at that. "Mr. Kim helped as well, I don't think I would've gotten as far as I did without him to be honest. He sends his regards, by the way."

Jin smiles at that.

"I couldn't just sit there and not do anything, you know? I did my best because I wanted to help," he finishes.

     "I appreciate that but I still don't understand why you went through all the trouble."

     Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head. "As smart as you are, you can be pretty dense Seokjin. I did it because I like you. A lot, if I may add."

     Jin stares at him, puzzled. "Are you sure it's not because you wanted to make amends?"

     "That too. But mostly to show you that I care about you."

     "What about your studies? It surely must've gotten in the way," he says, avoiding his confession.

     "You're just that important to me."

     Jin sighs. "I don't know Jungkook. You hurt me, really bad, and while I can finally look past that considering what you've now done for me in return, I can't be with you."

     "Can't or won't?"

     Jin stays silent and Jungkook lets out a soft sigh. "Disregarding how I was before, I can be patient. I can wait until you're ready. We can just hang out, be friends, and I won't ever push you into dating me. But I just need to know if there's any hope."

     "What if there isn't? Is being my friend not good enough?" Jin asks, his heart racing. He wasn't expecting a conversation like this. If he had known, he wouldn't have invited him over. But he can't run from these things anymore, he can't run from confrontation. He needs to communicate. That was the plan after all.

Jungkook sighs, looking down at his feet. "It'll be hard but I know I'd have to accept that. I still want to be in your life, regardless of what I am to you."

Jin bites his lip and looks away and out the window. It's all coming down on him and his first instinct to pull away. He doesn't like this.

"I may be asking for too much but I would like another chance. You can set the time limit and I'll follow through. I want to at least show you what it would be like and if you don't like being with me, then I'll respect your decision."

Jin plays with his nails as he ponders. Would it be worth it or would it just be a waste of time for both of them?

"Can I have some time to think?"
"As long as you don't avoid it forever, yes."
     "Ok."

     Jungkook leaves shortly after, the awkward silence uncomfortable for both of them. Jin goes to bed early and lays there, staring at the ceiling. He can't lie and say he didn't like him even just a little bit before. But he has little trust in him and it would take quite a bit of time to build that up again. But it's not totally impossible either. His head begins to hurt and he turns onto his side, clutching his blanket as he closes his eyes. He pushes himself to go to sleep despite his mind racing a mile a minute. He needs rest.