Adolescence just can't make sense

٠Six٠

It's been a few weeks since Amber has come back to Oakland, Since Lee came into our class and since Billie has started to act weird. Everything feels unsure and weird right now...

As I'm walking to school I can hear somebody running behind me. "VIVIENNE!" I can hear the person yell with little bumps in the vocals because of the running. I take off my headphones and look over my shoulder to see and feel Amber suddenly grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
"Woah! what's this about?" I almost fall into her arms
Amber nuzzles her face into my neck. "Why? Can't I even give my girlfriend a hug anymore these days?"
I stammer, "No I mean Yes of course you can but just.."
Amber kisses my cheek.
Her kissing my cheek used to feel magical but now I just feel weird.
Not weirded out, just weird because I don't feel the same as I used to. I'm the worst overthinker ever and this has been killing me for the last few weeks.

I walk into school to find Lee sitting in the chair beside mine. Amber looks at me quickly.
"I'm sorry, I'll just ask him to leave." I mutter under my breath.
She rolls her eyes at me.
I walk up to Lee and take my seat beside him.
"Hey Lee, uhm, Amber wanted to sit here?" I say as I awkwardly smile at him.
"Yeah I know but the teacher wanted me to sit here because she has also heard stories of my old school."
"Oh okay" I mutter and look down, Not wanting to look anyone in the eyes right now, Was it the affect I suddenly had on people or was it
Amber walks past me and sighs.
She's mad at me, But she doesn't have a reason to be mad, I mean I haven't done anything, Or at least not on purpose. Ever since Lee came into our class everything has just felt weird and off.
For the rest of the class she sat behind us and I could hear her sigh or mumble to herself every once in a while. It made me sad.

And that's kind of how every single class went, I mean that's kind of how they've been for the past few days now but today feels heavier, As if some kind of storm is coming.

Billie Joe POV: (AN: Yes his POV is back.)
"Mike I don't understand what she sees in that guy!" I say almost angry from disbelief.
This Lee guy is some kind of a manipulator, I don't have any other explanation for whatever kind of affect he has to the people around me, And mostly to Vivienne.

"Beej chill for god's sake" Mike says, he has been listening to me ranting about this guy for the past weeks. And I'm not going to stop until I know exactly what he's up to. But it's no good, I know that much.

"Mike I'm sure he's manipulating her, I don't want her to get hurt." I sigh, as if my heart is breaking for her. I don't even know why I care so much about her.
"Why do you care so much about her anyway?" Mike groans.
"Because she is my friend!"
"She's more than a friend to you."
"She's not"
"She is, lover boy" Mike teases.
"Don't call me that, you asshole."
We both laugh at our dumb conversation, while somewhere deep in my mind I'm still upset with Lee and I still want to vent.

"I must say, Lee gives me some vague memories, Like he reminds me of someone and I can't place it." Mike says and takes a sip of his beer.
I take a sip of mine and look at him in confusion. "So we have been arguing about this for you to just agree with me?"
"No that's not exactly what I'm saying, You're saying he's evil. I'm saying he's reminding me of someone." Mike corrects me.
"But can't you think of the time he reminds you from, anything?"
"No not really."
"Maybe we should ask him what school he came from, Maybe that could give us some answers..." I nod at my own solution.
"Sure I guess." Mike shrugs.

We're sitting on a park bench. In the park. Skipping our last 2 classes, It was art and music anyway so I don't think it really mattered much, I'm a very artistic kid and those are the only few classes I'm actually good at.

"What do you think about Amber?" Mike suddenly asks me.
"Amber?" I ask surprised.
"Yea"
"I don't know, She's pretty and she seems really cool ."
"Mhm." Mike nods slowly, following where I'm going.
"And she really fits Vivienne well so I'm glad that they had found each other." I continue slowly, Mike adds quickly to that statement, "Do you think they're dating?"
My jaw somewhat drops "Mike what the fuck are you talking about?"
"Like Amber and Vivienne?" Mike asks again.
"No Vivienne called Amber 'just a friend' when she told me about her" I protest.
Mike grins "Yes but when they came walking to the garden the other day, they were holding hands."
"So what? A lot of girls do that for fun." I state and take another sip of beer before puffing my cigarette.
Mike's eyes observe the entire park.
"What are you thinking of?" I ask
"About you and your stupid heart." Mike groans bluntly
"What about it?" I chuckle, With a little bit of offence.
"You're in love Billie and you can't even see it yourself yet." He sighs.
"Am not"
"Oh shut up" Mike laughs.

I don't want to be so open about liking a girl, I mean I like Vivienne. I really do but I have a feeling that she doesn't like me back at all. And I don't understand what Lee has that's so much better than me, He's a first class jerk in every single way imaginable?

Vivienne's POV:
I'm in art class with Amber right now, she hasn't really talked to me the last few classes. We take a seat beside each other.
"Are you mad at me?" I ask her, I'm so annoyed about how she has been acting lately, I mean... Not that I've been the most perfect girlfriend but at least I was never jealous of her talking to other people.
"I'm not mad I'm just upset Vee" She sighs, I groan at her. "Well why? Spill it!"
"I don't like that Lee guy." She looks away.
"Why not? he's been nothing but nice to us."

"To you, you mean" She scoffs
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that whenever you're away he clearly shows us that he wants you for himself and that he's trying to get into your pants. That's all he wants probably." She starts to sum up the reasons and the signs where she had seen that Lee was a bad influence on me, It sounded like absolute bullshit, I scoff.
"How can you say such terrible things about him? This is so not like you Amber!" I almost yell out of anger.
"I do not care, The whole mood changes in every single room as soon as he comes close and I care about you and I love you and I don't want you to get hurt." Amber begs me.
"If you really love me and care about me, you should know that I am able to take care of myself anyway." I spit.
"Vivienne what are you saying?" Amber looks at me, concerned, Anxious, And most of all, Scared of the few words I'm about to say too soon.

She felt what I was feeling

And she knew exactly what was coming.

And for how much I hated to say these words,

I fell in love with someone else

and I can't deny that.

"Amber I don't feel our spark anymore." I start slowly, I have no idea how I'm supposed to bring this.
She just blankly stares at me, Tears began to well up in her eyes.
"Amber I'm sorry I love you so so so much and so dearly but I can't feel our spark anymore, I can't feel us anymore." I say, Monotone. I don't want to hurt myself, I don't want to hurt her.

I'm fucking stupid for this.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Amber forces herself to speak.
She's crying, She fighting her tears and losing badly.

"Yes Amber... that's exactly what I'm saying."

After school I immediately went to Lee's house for some distraction. I sobbed into his arms and we watched a movie together. He really comforted me and I liked that about him, I just can't understand how you could be saying such ruthless stuff about him, He's the kindest guy I've ever met, He even stroked my hair what Amber used to do whenever I needed comfort. It felt reassuring...

"Who broke up with who though?"
He suddenly asks while stroking my hair gently.
"I broke up with Am" I sigh and nuzzle to his neck.
"Oh shit" he says as if he didn't expect that.

Later that night I went back home and talked with Billie Joe on the phone for hours,

He was the only person that didn't hate on Lee. Amber hated him, Celest avoided me. It seemed like he actually made people ditch me, just because they didn't like him.

I'm glad Billie stayed though.
He was my only ''friend'' when I was lonely, and I wouldn't want to lose him.

AN: :(( I actually felt really bad for Amber as I wrote this. She only tried to look out for vee and now she's the one getting hurt. Ouch.

We'll see how this turns out.

What are your opinions on Lee???
What do you think he's doing to Vee?