Adolescence just can't make sense

٠Eleven٠

Vivienne POV:
I wake up, My head is pounding. Ugh I feel terrible, I feel Like I have been hit by a truck.

I rub my eyes, trying to adjust them to the bright lighting of the sun that's shining through the curtains that are slightly opened, Which is weird because I have blinds in front of my bedroom window.

I blink a few times and realize that I'm not in my room.

I'm not in my own room? 

I look around, kind of scared and orientated.

"Morning Vee." A groggy but happy male voice says from the right side of the room.
I look confused when I realize that it's Billie.

"Morning?" I reply.

"Oh uhm, I'm sorry. You kind of passed out last night so I let you stay over, I called your parents to let them know you're okay." He scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

I squint my eyes. My head feels like it's gonna explode. "I don't remember anything, Please catch me up."

"Uh well first of all: you have a hangover." Billie chuckles to himself

I groan and drop my head back on the bed before covering my eyes with my underarms. "Well no fucking shit Sherlock."

Billie laughs.

"My birthday party was last night and when you finally escaped Lee we climbed onto the roof and you kind of told me everything, Then he noticed we both were gone and yelled at you. Called you nearly every name in the book and than just broke up with you." He sighs, With some kind of guilt or worry in his tone, I can't really recognize, I'm too hungover for human emotions.

I scoff. ''I remember that vaguely''

''Mike was kind of fighting him off and pushing him away from the party.'' He continued "And when we were sure he was gone we went down stairs again and kind of drowned all the emotions and feelings that had exploded earlier, And then around 2 you passed out and I laid you in my bed." 

My eyes widen, Being in the hands of a teenage guy while your an unconscious isn't the smartest thing in the world. "You weren't in the bed too right?" I ask, Somewhat scared for some reason.

"No I slept on the couch." Billie assures me.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Okay."

Billie scoffs playfully. "What, Do I not even get a thank you for making sure you're safe?"

I roll my eyes and chuckle painfully through my pounding headache. "Thank you Billie."

"I brought you some painkillers and water, It'll make your hangover pass quicker." He grins.

"Thanks" I groan again and turn over in the bed to get just like five more minutes of sleep while he leaves the bedroom.

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After a few more minutes of laying in bed I decide to go down stairs, I'm hungry. 

"How are you feeling?" Billie asks me.
"Like shit." I reply laughing at him.

Billie made some bacon and eggs, and I must say that it was the most delicious breakfast I have had in a while. Billie is a pretty good cook to my surprise.

"Like it?" Billie asks me as I'm almost devouring the plate.
"I'm sorry I'm fucking hungry and yes it is delicious oh my god." I reply whilst stuffing my mouth full again.
"Well if you want more, just tell me." He smiles kindly.

With a full mouth I reply, "Thanks but I'll probably be full until noon after this my god."

He laughs and of course I laugh back at him, I Can't believe I chose Lee as my best friend and my boyfriend over Billie. Not that Billie liked me romantically of course but just for the fact that I liked Lee that way and not Billie scares me. Lee fucked with my brain so badly I swear.

"Wanna go out today?'" Billie asks me. My parents will probably already kill me for staying over with Billie so I don't want to get in anymore trouble.
"Well uhm.." I start with. Well who cares anyway? I'm already dead so why not have a good time beforehand?                                                                                                                                                                    "Could we maybe go to the grave yard? I feel like talking to my grandfather right now."

"That's cool, I'll go to my dad then, Then you can have some alone time to sort stuff out you know." He nods with a smile, soft and kindhearted smile.

He understood me.
He understands the pain of grieving and he understands exactly what I'm going through and I love and hate him for that at the same time.

We cycle to the grave yard and we had to most fun ever on the way there, we talked about music and life and how to mess up with school and how we can actually 'burn' down the school together.
It was like life had been complete all of this time and I just took that for granted using something that would make life fall apart instead of completing it.

We arrive at the grave yard, Billie walks with me to my grandfather's grave and I take a seat in front of it, Tracing the letters that are engraved in the stone.
"I miss you." I say, smiling. 

For some reason I don't miss him as much as usually today, It feels light life had just lifted some kind of a rock from my shoulders and I'm able to breathe finally.

"I'll see you in a bit!" Billie says as he walks of to see his dad's grave. I Can't imagine what that would feel like, losing one of your parents. Me and my grandfather were close too, I mean, he was as close as a parent but somebody who is actually your parents. Ouch.

"Grandpa, I think I figured some stuff out since the last time I was here. I mean, Me and Billie are great friends again, I broke up with Lee...Also thanks to Billie and I'm planning on setting things right with Amber and Celest too, Celest has been blocking me out for a longer time then Lee but I feel like fixing what ever is left of us, or in anyway, trying kind of.

I quietly sob holding my right hand on my grandfathers stone. Until I hear footsteps coming towards me. Billie takes a seat beside me and wraps his arm around me. He doesn't say anything and to be honest he doesn't have to, I understand it.

''It's Okay Vivienne, Let it all out...'' Billie whispers to me. 

''I...'' I mumble, I can't seem to bring out the words, I'm almost choking on them. God nobody has ever seen me this vulnerable but Billie, And for some reason I didn't even mind that he saw me like this. Because he knows what I'm going through in a way nobody else has ever understood me, Because he goes through the same things. 

''Shh..'' He hushes me as he gently hugs me with both of his arms around me. I lay my head on his shoulder and just keep sobbing. 

I know I'm safe in his arms, And I'm wondering why.

After a while my sobbing had turned into small sniffs. "What time is it?" I ask. 

"4:09" oh shit I had to be home like 4 hours ago.

 "I'm so dead when I get home. No joke." I laugh at Billie with my eyes still filled up with tears...My eyelashes are still damp and my cheeks are red, I pull him into a big hug.

"I'm glad you listened to me that day we met here." Billie says as he hugs me tighter. He suddenly also gives me a quick comforting kiss. 

A kiss on my lips. 

He makes me weak. 

He makes me feel what I've felt for Lee, But in a better way. This time I don't have everyone around me saying it's a trap, Instead I actually feel loved and secured.

I'm blushing.

A/N: Billie <3