Adolescence just can't make sense

٠Seven٠

It's Saturday. Everyone had plans today except for me, So I was left on my own. I go downstairs in my pajamas, My hair in a messy bun and my make up smeared across my face.
''Well you look like hell!'' Mike laughs as I walk into the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself, I do not have the power to argue or deal with Mike's bullshit today, Instead I decide to go to the graveyard today.

It's been a while.

I make myself some scrambled eggs and bacon. Mike was getting on my nerves, He kept staring at me while I was cooking. ''Can you stop watching me for just one fucking second?'' I ask through gritted teeth.
''You said the F-word! I'm telling mom!'' He yells.

For fucks sake.

I let out a scream, But keep my mouth closed.

I quickly eat my food and then rush upstairs. I put on an sweater, Some over sized jeans that used to be my dad's and of course my converse. I shook my hair so it would get a fluffier and grabbed some jewelry. I quickly pushed my earrings into my ears while grabbing my bag and walking out the door. As I lock the door behind me, I hear my dad pull up in the drive way.

''Where are you going young lady?'' He asks pretty sternly while raising an eyebrow.
''The park, why?'' I answer him, It's a saturday and only like 11 am what's the big deal if I go out!?
''When are you home again?' He start interogating me as the usual, as  any time I want to go out.
''I don't know?''
''If I catch you with a boy you're grounded, remember that Vivienne!'' My dad says strictly while pointing towards the door.
I shrug and walk up to the garage and grab my bike. I hopped on and cycled to the graveyard.

A guy?! That's really what he's worried about on a saturday morning? I'm 17 anyway what the hell does it matter if I have a guy friend or anything!?

''You're grounded Vivienne!'' I mock my dad's voice as I'm cycling. ''Fucking stupid guy, I dated Amber for so long and he didn't notice anything.'' I spit.

After cycling for about 25 minutes I finally arrived at the graveyard and drop my bike at the gates. I carefully walk past some old stones to find the one I'm looking for:

My grandfather's.

after searching for five minutes I have found it. ''Hey grandpa'' I say softly I take a seat in front of the stone.

''Grandpa, I'm sorry I'm not here that often, But I really want to talk with you about life right now because I have a feeling that I'm alone, Mom only takes Mike's side and dad is just as annoying and rude as he always is. '' I start with.
I'm already on the edge of tears, Grandpa used to give me the best advice on life and I'm still broken by his death.

''I also met these boys, Billie Joe and Lee. Billie Joe is such a nice guy and I really think he also see's me like his best friend and he's such a badass. I really like him. But Lee...I don't even know how to start talking about him, He's sweet, funny and handsome and I think he really cares about me. He cares about me in a way my parents don't even do.
He really makes me enjoy school again and I think he even brings out the best in me.
But Billie Joe, Amber and Celest keep saying that he's bad news. I don't understand why? He's also being really nice and comforting towards them, I don't know what they see in him what I can't see.''

I Swallow half of my words, I'm fucking in love with Lee and I can't even deny it anymore, And now I'm even telling my dead grandfather about it. I don't even understand myself anymore at this point.

''He also asked me if Billie Joe and I were dating when we first met! Because he found that Billie looked jealous at Lee and me. At first I barely noticed but now I can see it pretty well. I just don't understand why they hate Lee that much.''

I sigh.

''I also broke up with Amber yesterday and I feel really bad about it, I just couldn't feel our spar-''