Chapter 5: "What are You, a Seventy-Year-Old Farmer?"

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"My heart is not captured easily

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"My heart is not captured easily. I am disinterested in small talk, disillusioned with love, and too focused on my dreams and aspirations to lend anybody my attention for long.
But if we make that connection, if you find your way into my heart, God, I will fall for you like gravity has let go of the earth"
(Beau Taplin I The Connection).

|◁ II ▷|

My seat in English is in the second row, not centered but closer to the windows where I can see the white blossoms of the pear trees in spring and the soft fall of the leaves in autumn.

My mind is wandering too much right now. The subject of my confusion is the group that came to our table at lunch.

Why?

They might be friends with West or Sam, sure. But not close. I would've heard their names from either of the two boys more often. I would've known Valen's name or recognized him instead of having to ask like an idiot.

I still just don't understand why Jake would come during lunch to ask Sam if he was going to the party. He could've asked him outside of school. They were friends, right?

And why did Jake bring the two other boys? Valen and the tall guy. They just tagged along like little puppies.

The three boys were seniors. They all knew my brother and Sam. Maybe they were closer than I thought? But West doesn't hang out with that crowd.

Nico. No more judging.

But isn't that what keeps me safe? Yes, I need to be caring and compassionate and kind, but I need to be wary. I need to be careful.

All I know about the three boys are rumors. They push people around. They're mean. They skip class. They're selfish.

Jake is a player, a glorified manwhore. It's fact because I've witnessed some of the encounters myself, sadly.

The tall guy—man, what is his name?—is known for sketchy things with drug deals and gangs according to Sam.

Valen's rumors are endless. Leading girls on, sleeping with anything with a vagina, ghosting them afterwards. Bullying people physically and mentally and emotionally, preying on religious kids and isolating minority groups, making kids leave the school or the system all together. Failing all his classes, bribing with his parents' money to get his grades up. There were so many rumors of drugs, gangs, criminality... And everything is protected by the money his family has.

But I'd never seen it. I shouldn't believe the rumors. I should judge for myself.

But being cautious is forever better than winding up on a road I don't want to be traveling down. There were rumors for a reason.

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