Chapter 76: "Thoughts Are Good"

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"You felt familiar the moment I met you; a lovely sort of déja vu

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"You felt familiar the moment I met you; a lovely sort of déja vu. Whenever we speak or laugh or dance I am overcome with the powerful sensation we have been here before. And when we kiss, I can feel the energies of a thousand lives on our lips—as if whenever they meet, you are welcoming me home"
(Beau Taplin).

|◁ II ▷|

The small fan blows directly into my face as I lay in my nook, trying to calm down after I almost blew my confession. I pretty much already did. I almost told her I loved her. Then I almost told her I liked her. Then I admitted I like hanging out with her, which was boring and stupid.

I seriously almost blew my entire confession plan. She deserves it all. All the romance and cuteness and stuff she loves, even if she doesn't love me back.

She deserves to know I care about her, and she deserves to see how much I really do. Actions speak louder than words.

I call for Rikkard, and he stumbles into my room looking tired. "Yeah?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I wince. "Were you asleep?"

Rikkard shakes his head and plops down on my bed. "Nah. I was scrolling. I was in the bed, though."

"Sorry. Nico, um, made me dinner."

"I saw," Rikkard smirks. "I warmed some of it up when I got back about an hour ago. It was pretty good."

"We got to talking," I tell him, my mind going back to a few hours before. "I—I almost confessed."

"What?" Rikkard perks up. "Did—Wait, 'almost'?"

"Almost," I run a hand over my face. "We just—I kind of asked her what was going on with us. I'm not even sure I got a full sentence out, actually. She understood, though."

And she's not ready. Or she doesn't feel the same way about me. Maybe she's on the fence. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt me. I don't know.

"So, let me get this straight," Rikkard raises his brows at me. "You wanted to confess, and you almost did confess, but you got nervous because she seemed like she wasn't ready?"

"She said she didn't know," I counter.

"To what question?" Rikkard laughs shortly.

"To—Well—" I try, knowing it's futile.

"Yeah, I'm gathering that's the most of the question you could ask."

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