Open Wounds (Sirius Black)

Omen of Death

"I feel it. I feel the pull, too."

"What?" I whispered, my voice barely audible as hope and excitement surged within me. I gazed up at Sirius, who stood a head taller than I, searching for confirmation in his eyes.

Sirius stood there, his expression caught between uncertainty and longing. "Dessa, I..." he began, but his words trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, the words escaping my lips like a soft plea, as I sought an explanation for why he had kept his feelings hidden for so long.

Sirius kept his gaze fixed on our intertwined hands, his fingers holding onto mine as if he feared letting go. I followed his gaze, watching how our hands seemed to fit together, perfectly intertwined.

"Because I can't have you, Dessa," he admitted softly, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and resignation.

Confusion and curiosity washed over me as I looked at him. "Why?" I asked, needing to understand the reasons behind his words.

"You know why," Sirius replied, his eyes locking onto mine again. The unspoken reasons hung heavily in the air between us, the complexities of our situation weighing on both of our hearts.

I let out a small sigh, my voice barely above a mumble as I said, "James can get over it." Despite my words, there was a trace of uncertainty in my voice, as if I, too, grappled with the implications of our feelings for each other.

"Dessa, I can't do that to him. My family would never allow it," Sirius explained, his voice carrying the weight of years of family expectations and restrictions.

I couldn't help but challenge him, a hint of frustration creeping into my words. "When has your family ever stopped you from doing things you wanted?" I reasoned, knowing full well the Black family's reputation for pushing boundaries and defying norms.

"It's not that easy to explain—" Sirius began, but I cut him off, my frustration and confusion bubbling to the surface. "So this thing between us? Are we just supposed to let it continue to... I don't know, grow, and cause both of us to suffer?" I asked pointedly, searching for a resolution to the tangled web of emotions and circumstances that bound us together.

Sirius gently cupped my face, his touch warm and reassuring, making me meet his gaze. "We can't, Dessa," he whispered, his eyes filled with a mixture of affection and pain. "I never wanted this conversation to happen because I knew I would only hurt you."

His words hung in the air, a painful acknowledgement of the problematic choices we faced and the sacrifices we had to make to protect each other from further harm.

My heart ached with an intensity that threatened to consume me as I looked into Sirius's eyes. I longed to cry, to release the flood of emotions that welled up within me, but I couldn't find the tears.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking with a sorrow that mirrored the pain we both felt. It was an apology not just for the conversation we were having, but for the circumstances that had brought us to this point.

Sirius leaned down and placed a tender kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering for a fleeting moment as if to convey the depth of his regret. Then, he pulled away, his gaze filled with a mixture of emotions.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse, before he turned and left me standing alone in the dimly lit corridor, the weight of our unspoken feelings and the bittersweet taste of what could never be lingering in the air between us.

As I slowly made my way back to the common room, my thoughts swirled with a tumultuous mix of emotions. My heart ached with an intensity that was difficult to bear, and the hope that had briefly flickered within me had been crushed by the weight of reality. The conversation with Sirius had left me in a state of emotional turmoil, and I couldn't help but replay every word and moment in my mind, searching for answers that seemed elusive and out of reach.