Beach Bonfire

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May 9, 2013.

I start at the beginning and count back 7 weeks a few more times. No, this can’t be. Drew is the father, not Wesley. Not the man who has been by my side since the first day we met. Not the one who I love more than anything and not the one who truly cares about me and the baby. This just isn’t fair. If I could go back in time and change everything just so this baby could be Wesley’s, I would.

I don’t even realize I’ve been staring at my phone for a long time until Wesley says, “Is everything okay?”

I snap out of my thoughts and put on a fake smile. “Yeah, I’m just really tired.”

“Me too.” Wes says. “After we pick the boys up, we can go take a nap.”

“Sounds great.” I say and go back to my phone. I pretend to be texting or tweeting but I’m really just thinking about everything. What do I do now? Do I tell Drew or do I keep this to myself? No, I can’t keep this to myself. This is too much to handle on my own. So do I tell Wes? But if I tell Wes I’m going to have to tell him everything, starting with what happened the night of the party. I don’t know if I can do that because I’ll be putting my relationship with Wes and his friendship with Drew at risk.

Wes finally starts to talk about the meeting and I’m able to get my mind off of things, but the second we pull up to a restaurant and I see Drew sitting outside with Keaton, it all comes back to me. Drew takes the seat behind me and Keaton gets the one behind Wes.

“Hey guys!” Keaton says, happy as always.

“Hey, how was lunch?” Wes asks as he takes off and heads home.

“It was good!” Keaton says. I look in the right hand side mirror and see Drew in the back just looking out the window. He’s been in the car for at least 5 minutes now, and he hasn’t said a word. That’s not like Drew at all. What’s wrong with him? “Hey, Tori.” Keaton says causing me to look back at him. “How did the doctor’s appointment go?”

“It was okay.” I say and then I pause trying to think of something else to say. “The doctor said I should be feeling better soon but I need to start eating again.” Obviously, that was a complete lie but it sounded pretty good.

“I guess Wes was doing the right thing this morning then.” Keaton says referring to how Wes was forcing me to eat earlier. If only he knew it was for other reasons. “Good job bro.”

Wes laughs and says, “Thanks.” The car fills with silence for a few minutes until we all hear Keaton’s phone go off.

Keaton reads the text and says, “Arianna just texted me and she got the job she’s been wanting for a while now! I’m so proud.”

The way Keaton says this makes Wes and I laugh, but I notice that Drew’s expression doesn’t change. Seriously what the hell is wrong with him? “Oooooh, Keaton’s in love.” Wes says in a baby voice.

Keaton laughs and then hits Wes playfully over the head making his snapback fall off. “Shut up bro!” I grab Wesley’s snapback and place it back on his head for him. “Seriously though, guys. Can we do something tonight to celebrate?”

“Sure. What were you thinking?” Wes says.

“Ummm…” Keaton starts to say. Clearly he hasn’t thought it through.

“How about a bonfire on the beach?” This is said by a voice I haven’t heard from in a while. I look at Drew in the mirror again and this time he’s looking at Keaton for his approval.

“I love that idea! Thanks dude.” Keaton says and they pound fists. “Wanna just make it us four, Arianna and Kim?”

“Sounds good to me.” Wes says as he pulls into their driveway. Drew is the first to get out of the car and run into the house. Keaton goes to call Arianna to tell her the plans as Wes and I make our way to his room. I plop down on his bed as the sudden feeling of exhaustion hits me. When he does the same, I lie on my side and face him. He runs his hand down my cheek and says, “How are you feeling baby?”

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