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I've been thinking about Soren a lot, it's ridiculous

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I've been thinking about Soren a lot, it's ridiculous. I keep fighting myself if I should call him..should I?

If I do what if he doesn't answer? Or if he tells me not to bother him, this whole arranged marriage I'm not worried about anymore. I'm just worried about my father, I know he wants me to be in charge.

I thought to myself I must've gone crazy to accept the fact of marrying Soren, why did I accept it? I was scared to answer that question.

Very scared.

My only concern was my father now, It makes me sick that he doesn't care about how I feel in this situation, it's something I don't want to do. I know how this works, I'll be trained and stripped of my emotions and happiness. I know it.

I haven't seen Christian, he told Kora he needed space, I'm going to respect that. I just hope he comes around soon because I miss him.

I walk to the backyard and inhale the fresh air, I've been thinking a lot lately.

I take out my phone and look at his contact, I need to call him. Just do it, I tell myself. Screw it.

I pressed his name and his phone began to ring.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask Helena, I haven't seen her since I was 16, I'm 22 now

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"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask Helena, I haven't seen her since I was 16, I'm 22 now. It's been fucking years.

"I heard you were getting married, I wanted to say congratulations. I missed you, Amore." She rolls out the word love and it makes me disgusted.

"Don't fucking call me that." I snap at her, she grins as I grow angry. What a crazy bitch. She always enjoyed my anger, I wouldn't be surprised if she came up with bullshit Just to argue about.

"You know I wanted to kill her, you didn't even know her but you chose her. She doesn't deserve you." She says with a hint of anger in her voice, I could tell she hates me for what I did, and I know she hates her.

"You need to leave, now." I know she can feel the threat in that sentence, she looks at me for a moment, I know she isn't scared but she also isn't stupid.

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