If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

The Story

"There's stuff you don't know about me." Sam said a short while later.
"I'm sure there is." I said, glancing over at him.
He stared straight ahead. "But I should probably tell you."
"If you want. But you don't have to."
"I want to. Well, I need to."
"Sleep first, Sammy."
"But-"
"We'll talk tomorrow, love."
"You need to know before, you know, you get too attached."
"Too late."
"Just let me tell you."
"Sleep first. Nothing's so important that it can't wait. Unless you're dying. Or going to die. Otherwise..."
"Well, no, I don't think so, but-"
"Then sleep. You need rest. Even heroes need sleep, Sam."
"I'm no hero." He scoffed quietly.
"Oh, but you are."
He smiled. "Goodnight, Lex."
"Goodnight, Sammy."

At 3:30, I woke Sam up. Dean was still asleep. Sam and I got out of the car at the same time. He intercepted me at the front of the car and slid his arms around my waist.
"What are you doing, Sammy?"
He shrugged, then kissed me.
"Sam?" I asked.
"Hmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"We need to get going, love."
"Yeah." He kept kissing me.
"Sam."
The horn honked. "No PDA!" Dean screamed from inside.
"See? He agrees." I smiled and pulled away from him.
Laughing, Sam groaned and continued on his merry way to the driver's side of the car.
"Oh, yeah." Dean said. "I almost forgot." We both turned to look at him. He held out a gold necklace to me.
"What's that?" I asked.
"A charm. It prevents demon possession."
"I don't need it." I said, earning a crazy look from the both of them. I decided I would rather elaborate than have a knife at my throat. "Demons can't possess you if Christ is in you." They glanced at each other, earning an eye roll from me. "Would it make you feel better if I wore it?"
"Yes." They both said, so I took it.
"Want me to drive, Sammy?"
"No. Get some rest."
"I already did."
"Shut up and go back to bed."
"Well, okay."
"Do you want to talk now?" I asked Sam.
"No, get some sleep."
"I'm really not tired."
"Sleep."
"Okay, Dad." I rolled my eyes and curled up in a ball, closing my eyes.

Dad and I were in the car. Dad had night vision goggles pressed to his eyes. "There, Lexie." He said, pointing to a car to our left.
But the car had driven right over and rammed into our car. I screamed, but my dad was silent. I screamed again as the car flipped onto its side, then jolted to a stop. I punched out the skylight, cutting my hand up, but not feeling it at all. Dad knocked out his window.
The man who had gotten possessed ran down to us. "Oh my God!" He cried. "I'm so sorry! Is everyone okay?"
"Call 9-1-1." I commanded, half pulling my dad from the car.
Coughing, he fell to his knees. I helped lead him away from the car, just in time for it to burst into flames. My dad loves that car...
"Daddy?" I asked, easing him to the ground.
Blood bubbled at the corners of his lips and he half choked.
"Sh... Sh." I said softly, sliding my hand into his.
"I love you, baby." He said, for the first time in quite some time. "Tell your mom and sister I love them too."
I nodded, holding back tears. "Don't stop this, baby. Call John Winchester. He'll help. And it's a demon, not a ghost."
Well damn. "Okay. I will." I said.
"I love you, baby. I'm so proud of you." He is...?
"I love you too." I said, my voice cracking. I cleared my throat. Sirens could be heard in the distance. Not the monster kind, but the ambulance kind. "Hang on, Dad." I said.
"No, it's okay, sweetie. It's better this way."
"But-"
"Tell that man the truth."
"But-"
"Do it."
"Okay."
"You'll be okay..." He convulsed. "Call John." He half choked out, then he lay still.
"Daddy?" I whispered. When he didn't answer, I frantically checked for a pulse, but found none. Closing my eyes, I bowed my head. "I'm so sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry." I whispered.
Why, God?
The man came over. "Oh, God." He said, eyes wide.
I stood up. "Sir? It wasn't your fault. You were possessed."
"Possessed?" He looked at me as if I were crazy.
"By a demon. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. It wasn't your fault."
The ambulance arrived. The man put his hand on my arm and led me to a paramedic while others went to my dad's body. "Excuse me, miss? This girl was in that car, and she's telling me I was possessed by a demon."
I sighed inwardly. Great. "I'm sorry." I said with much strain. I want to punch them both. "That was uncalled for. I was trying to make you feel a bit better."
"I'm sorry, miss. I'm so sorry."
"Thank you. It's okay." I said. I'm sorry too.
"Ma'am?" The paramedic said, guiding me to the ambulance. "Let's get you checked out."
"I'm fine." I jerked from her grasp.
"Your hand's bleeding, honey. And you may have head trauma."
"Trust me, I've had worse."
"Let me check you out."
"Fuck off."
"Let me at least fix your hand."
"No." I said. "Just get me a wet paper towel. It's not that bad." I said. "But I need my dad's phone. He told me to call my uncle."
"We can arrange that." She said gently, but looked apprehensive about my hand.
"Is your mom here, honey?" A different woman asked. I wish they would stop freaking calling me that.
"I need to call my uncle. That other lady is getting me my dad's phone."
"Where do you live?"
"I'm not supposed to tell strangers that."
"I'm a paramedic."
"And a stranger." I shrugged.
"Here's your phone, sweetie." The first lady said said, handing me a paper towel along with it.
"Thank you." I said. I stepped away from everyone else but the first lady followed me. Damn.
I pressed my phone to my ear, holding it between my shoulder and my head as I cleaned up my hand. Yikes. "Can I have some gauze?" I asked the lady. She nodded, but didn't move.
Johns Winchester answered. "John Winchester." He said.
"Hi, Uncle John. It's Lexi. Dad and I got into an accident while we were hunting. He said I should call you to come?"
"Lexie?"
I can't very well say my last name. "Yeah, the paramedics won't let me go. This one lady is watching me like a hawk. See, what happened was, we were going to the bank, but this monster hit us."
"Where are you?"

I sat in the hospital, impatiently waiting for John Winchester. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but it kept my mind off things. I guess he's probably intimidating and big and scary.
"Lexie?" A voice asked, and I turned to it.
I looked up to see a man with brown hair and a beard. Not that intimidating and big and scary. "John Winchester?" I asked, hiding my anxiety-very well, might I add.
He nodded.
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"You are your father's daughter." He half laughed.
"Get me out of here, please."
He signed me out and we left. "Where do you live?"
"He said to have you help me finish the case."
"What's the case?"

As we were driving, he talked. "You'll have to meet my boys someday." He said. "I'm so proud of them. They're good men, good Hunters."
"How old are they?"
"Your age. Well, my youngest, Sam, is. Dean's a little older."
"Oh."
"Sammy's away at college. He's really smart. You'd like him."
"I'm sure they're both lovely."
"You remind me of my wife."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Sorry. Anyways, your sister a Hunter?"
"Only occasionally. She doesn't like getting her hands dirty."
"I'm sorry about your dad... It's a shame."
"Right there." I pointed at a car coming towards us.
He stuck his hand out the window and threw a rock at the car. I rose up out of the sunroof and fired at the guy, hitting him straight in the chest. The truck swerved and crashed. I ducked back into the car and Mr. Winchester drove on.
"What do you say we get dinner?"
"If you're hungry." I feel sick. I don't want to eat.
"Starving."
"Then sure."
We stopped at McDonalds. I picked at a salad while he devoured a cheeseburger.
"No wonder you're so tiny. You don't eat anything."
I smiled.
"Are you coming in?" I asked as we pulled up outside the motel.
"No, I don't think so. Your mom doesn't like me."
I laughed. "Okay. Well, thanks. Sorry to trouble you."
"It was no trouble. Let me know if you ever need anything else. And if you ever, you know, want to get out of the house, call me, and you can come stay with us for a while."
"Thanks." I smiled. Yeah, no. If they're anything like my dad, I would die. I'm very, very OCD. "Wish Sam luck."
"Give your mom my best."
"Yes, sir. Thank you. Bye."
He pulled out of the driveway.
I just wanted to see my mom. I miss her. My dad and I were always butting heads, but we got along better than anyone else in the house. I hope he knew I loved him...
I walked in, expecting a hug from my mom.
But I was sorely disappointed. No one even moved. They just stared at me.
I decided I'd have to make the first move, so I stepped towards my mom, but she just turned away.
Tears stung my eyes, "John Winchester sends his best, and Dad sent his love." I left the room.
Collapsing at my bedside, I began to cry. "Oh, God, what did I do? Help me, God. Please help me." I whispered, clutching my Bible to me.
Don't they care?
I want want to scream.
I dried my eyes and left the house, going to my grandmother's and praying that she would act like a decent human being.
She accepted me in immediately, and I hurried to her, burying my face in her shoulder, sobbing.
She sat me down at the table and started a pot of tea. "Don't you want to be with your mom?"
I shook my head.

Less than two months later, Nanny was in her deathbed. I laid beside her, holding in my tears. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing shallowly.
I rested my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes.
Someone nudged me awake, and I opened my eyes. It was my mom, and she was crying.
Nanny had stopped breathing.
I expelled a slow, painful breath and closed my eyes.
"Go home, Lexie." Mom said softly.
"What home?" I whispered, then went back to the motel.
I left Scarlett Anne and Megan voicemails. I felt bad calling them so much, but I didn't know who else to go to.
Violently, I played my viola. When I heard the door open, I turned around, ceasing my playing in the middle of I'll Fly Away.
"Keep playing." Alysa whispered from where she and Donna were standing in the doorway. I obeyed, and Alysa began quietly singing along.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away. When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away.
"She's dead. Go away." I said when it was over.
"God, you're such a freak." Alysa murmured to herself, but loud enough for me to hear it.
They left.
I'd had a bag packed for over a week. I was waiting until Nanny passed so I wouldn't have any ties here. I was going to wait until after the funeral, but I couldn't. I grabbed the bag, scribbled a hasty note on a jagged piece of paper, and climbed out the window, bulky viola in tow.
Before I left, I looked around one more time. My eyes landed on the note:
Goodbye.