If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

Going Home

Everything was white. There was music in the background. It wasn't understandable, per say, but it was beautiful.
"Alexis." A crystal clear, songlike voice said.
I turned in the direction.
"Come with me." An incandescent being gestured toward and archway of pearls.
It's about time.
"Wait." A voice said. "Lexie, you can't go yet." The voice was different, but it was Castiel, it had to be. What other angel would call me Lexie?
"No way." I told him. He's one angel that I'll backtalk.
Is there such a thing as a gay angel?
As I looked at Cas, I decided that there apparently was.
"I'm afraid you must. If you don't come with me, Sam Winchester will do something terrible." Cas forged on.
"That s--" I cut off when I remembered I was outside the gates of Heaven. "That idiot had better not. Cas, don't let him. Please, Cas." I begged. I just wanted to die in peace.
"That's out of my hands. The Father says you have fought long enough, and He is sorry, but this is your destiny. You must help the Winchesters. He wishes to speak to you."
"God wants to speak to me?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes." He said. "'The face of God isn't hidden.'" He quoted.
"But I have to go back."
"After you speak to the Lord."
Castiel led me through the gates and into the city.
"My child." A still, small voice said.
I'd never physically heard it before, but it was more familiar than Sam's.
There was a man in front of me, impossible to describe. He was God; He was beautiful.
I dropped to my knees before him, bowing my head respectfully.
An angel (whom I recognized as Gabriel, from my adventures with Sam and Dean) approached and touched my lips with a hot coal, like what had happened to Isaiah, to cleanse me, so I could speak to the Father.
The Lord took my hand, drawing me up. "You have suffered long, and you've done well." He said.
I glanced down at my wrist, full of shame. But there was nothing there.
"Your scars have been healed. Your body is My temple."
"Thank you." I said softly, still awed.
"You've fought well, my daughter. You've been strong."
"Not exactly." I said, unable to make myself look in His face.
He touched my cheek tenderly. "You've been strong." He repeated. "Your fight, however, is not over quite yet."
I said nothing. I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't sound disrespectful. Besides, who was I to speak to the Creator?
My Lord, I should be in Hell right now.
"No, you shouldn't be in Hell. 'By His blood, you are healed.' You'll return here when the time is right. You know how it will end."
Oh, no. Oh no.
"Oh no." I said out loud, tears burning my eyes. "No, please. No."
"Fear not, My love, for I will be with you. My angels will watch over you."
"I mean no disrespect, Father, but we haven't had too many good experiences with your angels. They've sucked Sammy into Hell, and took Sam and Dean's brother as a vessel. They've killed innocent humans."
"I'll watch over you, Lexie. I'll watch over you forever, until you can join me."
I bowed my head in submissiveness.
He lifted my chin, and I looked into the face of the Lord. A soft, loving smile spread over His face.
"How long, Lord?" I asked. I felt peaceful, despite what was going to happen.
"If I told you, you would try to stop it."
"I can't do it." I said, dropping to my knees at his feet. "Lord, I--"
"You can do it. It is your purpose."
"Father..." I whispered.
He places His hand on my shoulder, and I found the strength to stand. "You must have many questions, Alexis, but I can't answer them now. Next time I see you, I will tell you everything."
"They won't hurt for long?" I asked.
"Not long at all." He promises, compassion on His face. "And then I will send for you, and you shall be reunited once more."
I didn't say anything for a long time. I felt wonderful here, now, but I knew that as soon as they took me back, I would be far from even being just okay.
"All will be well." He said.
"Your Will be done." I consented, closing my eyes.
"Castiel will take you back." He said quietly.
"Thank You."
"I love you, Lexie. I will be with you until the end. I'll never leave your side."
"Thank You, Father. I love You."
He smiled lovingly.
Castiel put his hand on my back, and began to lead me from the room.
I turned around quickly. "Father." I said desperately, tears burning my eyes.
"Yes, My child?"
My child.
"I'm sorry, Lord. Please forgive me." I pleaded.
"Your sins are forgiven."