If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

Return of the Jedi

"Where's Sam?" I asked as I got back from the store one day.
Castiel came out of a door.
"How is he?" Dean demanded of him.
"What?" I demanded.
"I told you. I'm not a human doctor. He might not wake up."
"Why the hell would he not wake up?" I demanded, getting irritated and scared.
"We got his soul back. He has to rest, but he's going to wake up." Dean said.
"He might not be the Sam we know." Cas warned.
"Yes he will." Dean said sternly.

When I went down to check on Sam a few days later, he was sitting up. "Sammy?" I demanded.
"Hey, Lexie." He said, glancing around in confusion. "What are we doing here?"
"You...." I thought for a plausible reason.
Dean came down, saving me. "Lexie, what's-- Sammy." He smiled, reaching forward and hugging his brother.
I edged out of the room. "Cas?" I called. "Castiel?"
No answer.
That's too bad, cause there's no way in Hell I'm praying to anyone besides God. Cas'll just have to wait till Dean calls him.
Sam--my Sam--and Dean came up a short while later. "I'm starving." Sam said. "I want a burger." He paused, furrowing his eyebrows and looking at me. "That doesn't bother you, does it?"
"Pardon?"
"Us eating meat. You're a strict vegetarian..."
"I don't mind at all." I said, almost dissolving into a puddle of tears, but managing to refrain myself. "Eat whatever you want."
He gave me a weird look but nodded. "Well, let's go get that burger." Dean grinned.
Dean even opened the car door for me. We shared a smile, even as I called him an asshole. Sam gave me a weird look. "Since when do you sit on that side?"
"So I can look at you." I hid a smirk and stifled a laugh as he snapped his head around and looked at me like I'd grown two hearts, choking on air.
"You should get something." Dean said.
"Not hungry." I said as I slid in the seat next to Sam at the gross fast food restaurant that probably failed their health test. It felt weird not to be sitting by Dean.
Same gave me the weirdest, most bewildered look. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing!"
"I don't care." Dean said. "You have to eat."
"You aren't my father."
"Somebody's gotta take on the fraternal role."
"Fraternal' brother."
"Paternal." He corrected with a roll of his eyes.
"So, what happened?" Sam asked.
"You got hit on the head." Dean said.
"How long was I out?"
"Just a few days." Times a lot.
"Did I miss anything?"
"No." I said at the same time Dean said yes.
Sam raised his eyebrows as we repeated our answers. Dean and I had a silent argument. "If you don't tell him I will." Dean finally said.
"I think I have to use the bathroom." I said instead of responding.
Dean reached out and grabbed my hand as I stood. He gave me a look, and I sat back down. I've gathered dirt on him as well. I avoided eye contact while Dean said it in the worst possible way. "She slit her wrists trying to kill herself."
"It was an accident! If I had wanted it badly enough I'd be dead. But Dean was being a stupid ass alcoholic." I switched my tone from defensive to whiney.
Sam closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, furrowing his eyebrows. "What?" He finally said.
Dean and I repeated our tattle-takes at the same time.
Sam turned and looked at me silently for a moment. "Lexie--"
"No. Shut up." I said. "It was an accident, and I'm sorry." I turned to Dean. "I was awake."
"Well, shit." He said, blushing furiously.
Sam tried again. "Lexie, I--"
I stood up. "I'll be in the car. Come out when you're done." I took the keys from the table and left the building.
One of them followed me. I was so used to always being with on,y Dean that I immediately assumed it was him. "Dean, go away. I don't want to talk to you."
"Um... I'm Sam."
"Go inside and finish your food." I said, turning around.
He slammed his hand in the hood of the car. "Hear me out, would you?" He said loudly, advancing on me. I prayed for Dean to come out as he started talking. "Lexie, I love you so, so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." I was pinned back against the car. Dean was watching through the windows, poised to run to my assistance. "I am--"
I interrupted him by jumping into his arms and kissing him like I hadn't done it in years--which I hadn't. "You're not getting out of this, Lexie."
"I don't care. I love you."
"Promise me you won't do it again." He said when I stopped kissing him and hugged him instead, tightly.
"Trust me, I won't. It was awful."
He thought I was talking about the experience. I was talking about Dean's reaction. I honestly hadn't meant to cause him that much suffering.
"Come back inside."
I followed him back inside.
"Never do it again." Dean said.
"Then next time obey me."
"You wanted me to just let you die?"
"Um, yeah." I said. Duh.
"Nope, sorry. You can't die until you've kissed me." He said, probably because he didn't expect it to happen.
"Technically--"
"That doesn't count."
"No way in Hell." Sam said.
"Agreed." I said. "But Sam, what about Dean's substance abuse problem?" I said innocently.
They looked at each other and seemed to come to a silent agreement. "He's always been a stupid ass alcoholic." Sam said finally.
Well, that didn't work out as planned. Dean stuck his tongue out at me while Sam was looking out the window.
We went back to the car, and Dean assholishly opened my door. I grabbed his shirt and stood on my tiptoes, kissing him hard. "Now may I die in peace?" I said and got in the car.
Dean stood there for a second before joining us.
"Never do that again." Sam said, disgusted.
"Unless you just, you know, feel like it." Dean said casually.
Sam elbowed him.