If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

It's a Hard Knock Life

"Sam?" I called, walking in. "Sammy?" I will not make a scene.
"Lexie? What the hell is going on?"
"Dean went to the bar and I was taking a walk. You've been unconscious for a few days."
"What happened?"
"Rogue Hunters."
With that, I flung myself into his arms, hugging him tightly, then kissing him deeply. So much for calm..
"Are you okay?" He asked, eyes wide with surprise.
I wish I was just a few inches taller. My chin can't even reach his shoulder unless I'm as high up on my tiptoes as I can go. "Yeah."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
I switched my jacket for my dad's jacket.
"Don't you need a heavier jacket?" Sam asked as I sat beside him on the couch. "It's kind of cold."
"No, I'm good." I laid my head on his shoulder.
"What's up with you?"
"Nothing." I said as he put his arm around me.
He shifted positions and started kissing me. I kissed him back, and when he began taking my jacket off, I didn't punch him. He jumped off the couch. "Okay, what the hell happened?"
"Nothing." I said, sighing exasperatedly.
"No, something did. You aren't like this. Son of a bitch, am I dreaming again?"
"No, Sam. It's real."
He reached for my sleeve. I slapped his hand away. "Don't."
He tried again. "Don't, Sam." I said again.
We wrestled-literally-for a while-not that I'm complaining, of course. Finally, he had me pinned down. We were both breathing hard.
Maybe I can distract him.
He wasn't using enough force to hurt me, or even hold me down, really. I pulled my arm from under his hand, reached up, and pulled his head down to me. "God, don't do this." Sam said, not moving to pull away.
"Do what?" I whispered before kissing him.
"Lexie." He breathed, kissing me back.
"Sh."
Okay. He's distracted. Should I throw him off or continue on with this line?
Throwing him off would be much more fun.
So I rolled over, knocking him to the ground. I landed on top of him. "I win." I smiled triumphantly.
"Isn't victory a nice feeling?" He grinned.
"Yes, very." I smiled.
"Too bad you won't get to enjoy it." He flipped me over, landing with his knees on either side of me.
I laughed.
He stared at me.
"What?" I asked, all traces of laughter gone.
A soft smile spread across his face.
"What?" I demanded again.
"Nothing." He replaced that strange smile with a triumphant grin, though he kept staring at me with that weird look. "I win."
"Yeah, yeah." I smiled. "Okay. Let me up."
He stood, extending a hand out to me. I took it and stood.
Then I kicked his legs out from under him, and he fell, pulling me with him. His laughter echoed through the room.
We laid on our backs on the floor. When we caught our breath, he propped himself up on one elbow. "Okay, Lexie. Let me see."
"No." I said, unconsciously moving my arm.
"Yes."
"I don't want you to see." I said, tears filling my eyes.
He stood up, holding out a hand to me. "Okay." He said simply.
I took his hand and stood.
Then, of course, he tackled me onto the couch. "Sucker." He grinned.
"You ass!" I laughed.
In my moment of distraction, he slid my sleeve up.
Oh, yes. I remember. That's why I don't do anything fun. It gets me into deep shit.
"Oh, God, Lexie..."
"Never mind. It's a dream." I said quickly. I quite literally threw him off of me. I moved to the corner of the couch, pulling my jacket protectively around me. I want to cry.
He sat beside me, pulling me to him and holding me close.
"Sam, we went over this." I said, my voice cracking slightly. No. I will not cry.
"What?" He asked.
"If I want comfort, I'll let you know."
"You did."
I did no such thing. "How?"
He lightly rested his finger on my wrist, as if it would hurt if he touched too hard. Which, it would, but I didn't mind it.
I started crying. Turning to him, I buried my face in his shoulder, letting myself be held.
"I love you." He whispered.

Dean called. "Hey."
"Dean-"
"Is Sam...?"
"Yeah."
"You know?"
"Yeah."
"You haven't told him?"
"No."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Tell him I'm gonna come meet him." Sam said.
"Sammy's coming to meet you there."
Dean was quiet for a moment. "Okay." He said.
"Do you want me to drive you so you won't have to take two cars?" I asked.
"Sure. You okay?"
"Fine, you?"
"Yeah."
I texted Dean. "I told him a rogue Hunter rendered him unconscious."
"English please." He answered momentarily.
I rolled my eyes, smiling to myself.
"Are you sure you don't wanna come in?" Sam asked, standing outside the driver's side window.
"Positive. Call me if you guys need anything."
He leaned in the window. "Sure you won't be scared?" He smirked.
"I think I'll live." I smiled.

Yeah, okay. So the house made noises it didn't normally make and I kind of fell asleep on the couch with a gun in my hand. That's not something Sam and Dean needed to know.
When I heard the door open, I woke up. According to the clock, it was two hours later than when I'd dropped Sam off.
I quickly shoved the gun into my pocket, hiding the evidence of my fright.
Sam was drunk. Dean was fine. He gave me a subtle nod. Sam knows.
Sam pulled me into a bedroom. "I want to show you something." He slurred slightly in explanation.
"What did you want to show me, love?" I asked, patience already waning considerably.
"Nothing." He grinned. "I just wanted to be alone with you." He put his arms around my waist.
"Why didn't you just say so?" I stalled. Oh, gosh.
"Next time I'll say 'Lexie, I want to be alone with you.'"
"Okay." I said. Honesty is the best policy.
"I'll say 'Lexie, I want to be alone with you so I can kiss you.'"
I stayed silent as he closed the gap between us. Shit. This would be cuter if, you know, he was sober.
"'Lexie, I want to be alone with you, because I'll go crazy if I don't kiss you.'"
He started to kiss me, pushing me against the wall.
"Fine. But this time, I say 'Sam, you'll go to bed, because you're drunk.'" I pushed us both away from the wall.
"No-"
"If you don't go to bed, I'll knock you out myself." And to think that last time this happened he said I was nicer than Dean about it. I am not dealing with this.
"Lexie, I'm not drunk."
"You are. Go to bed." I'd take drunk Dean over drunk Sam any day. Preferably neither, but...
"No."
So I knocked him out. I couldn't get him to the bed, so I just put a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. I kissed his forehead, then left.
"Where's Sam?" Dean asked.
"I knocked him out." I sat beside him on the couch.
"What?" He choked on his beer.
"He was getting on my nerves."
He laughed. At least he wasn't mad I bonked his brother on the head, I suppose.
"You all right?"
"Fine." He said, draining his bottle. "I'm going back."
"No."
"Yes. You can come if you want, but I'm going."
"Dean."
"You coming or what?"
I stood, "Fine." I exchanged my jackets, then followed Dean out the door.
"When did you become boss?" He muttered.
"When I became the only rational one." I shot back.

I followed him up to the bar. I was so busy running through the possible scenarios of things that could happen in this den of iniquity that I forgot to focus on what was actually happening. Every time he moved, however, I said, "Sit your ass down." And he did. Maybe he can tell I'm not in the mood?
"Sir, I'm afraid I'm afraid we'll have to cut you off." The bartender person told him eventually.
"I've been to Hell." He growled. "Everybody I have ever loved has died. I can continue with my damn sob story all damn night. You can cut me off when my liver fails."
She gave him a sympathetic look. "All right. Might as well finish what you started." She set a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in front of him, then walked off.
This bitch.
He downed it quickly. "Hey," he called to her. "Daisy Duke."
"We're-" I began.
That fucking bitch cut me off. "I get off in five minutes. Come with me, and I'll help you forget everything." She smirked, leaning over the counter. Whore.
"Get me another drink." He said, not even checking her out.
He turned down sex?
She obeyed. What the hell?
"Dean, are you okay?" I asked.
"Does it look like I'm okay?"
"You turned down sex."
"Congrats, genius. Did you figure that out all by yourself?"
"We're leaving." I said.
"You can." He didn't even look at me.
I grabbed his arm, and he turned to look at me. Maybe it was better without him looking at me. He looked... Haunted. I almost cried. "Look, Dean," I said gently. "I know you're hurting, but this won't fix anything. You're better than this. Everything will be okay, okay? Sam's fine." Sort of. "Everything will be all right, okay? Let's go back."
He nodded and followed me out.
"How'd you get him to leave with you?" The bartender lady asked. Her car was beside Dean's. He loves that stupid car way too much.
"She's my sister." Dean said, opening the car door roughly, and slamming it loudly.
I raked my hand through my hair, wincing. "It's been a rough few days. What happened to cutting him off?"
She shrugged. "He's cute."
Bitch.

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Forgive me for the lack of detail and for the massive suckiness of this chapter. But you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit 😂
~Charlie George