where you are

alone

Kaia

I woke up early to feeling a sense of gloom lingering over my head, I was helping Jaxx in the barn with chores and nothing had been said between either of us, I was afraid to say anything just incase he got angry at me, I never wanted to upset him yesterday but I guess he had every right to be, I hadn't spoken with him in about a month prior to yesterday and I had no excuse not to call him...

I continued brushing the horse while thinking of something to say but all I could manage was the words to let him know that I never meant to upset him.

Kaia: I'm sorry Jaxx...

I looked over at him and noticed he stopped what he was doing and looked over his shoulder a little and realized that I was looking at him before continuing what he was doing and walked out of the barn. I let out a deep breath after I knew that he was still upset with me and I didn't know how to fix it but I didn't pursue it any longer.

Later that night, I decided to take a ride one of the horses after letting my dad know where I was going. I had rode towards the camp and watched as they were celebrating something, I guess I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear anyone behind me and was startled when I seen him sit down next to me...

Kaia: you scared me, warn me next time yeah...?

Jaxx: what fun would that be?

Kaia: why aren't you down there celebrating with your family?

Jaxx: it's a coming of age ceremony, I'm sure Dyani won't care if I'm not there. Why are you up here alone?

Kaia: I couldn't sleep so...

I noticed he looked at me when I said that.

Jaxx: I apologize for getting upset with you yesterday, Just having you here means the world to me and the others.

Kaia: I don't have any excuse for not calling you, I just...you deserve to be happy...

Jaxx: I don't want anyone else Kaia and I don't want to fight so...

Kaia: I don't want to fight either...

I laid my head on his shoulder while we listened to the chanting coming from the camp. I was scared to lose him but at the same time I wanted him to be with someone who wasn't me and could settle down with them.

Jaxx: what are you thinking Dani?

I closed my eyes when he called me that, he hasn't called me Dani since we were kids and it stuck with me cause I didn't want anyone else but him calling me that name.

Kaia: I was thinking about the morning that we last spent time together alone and how you...

I let out a soft sigh thinking about the kiss we shared.

Kaia: why did you kiss me that morning?

He looked at me before speaking to me in our language and I suddenly realized that I was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

We got on our horses and rode somewhere where nobody knew about and we relived that morning over again.

I didn't know what he was thinking about as we climbed down from the horses and he quickly tied them up before making camp for the night. The trees hid us pretty well and I watched him lay a Buffalo skin on the ground for us to lay on and another to put over us. I had adjusted myself while he held me close, something I wasn't used to but it felt right being this close to him.

Jaxx: am I hurting you?

Kaia: no I...

He knew that instant how I was feeling and asked me what I knew he was thinking.

Jaxx: want to do something about it?

Kaia: yes...

I felt his fingertips traveling up my leg while he kissed me and I immediately sat on his lap while he wrapped the Buffalo skin around us. I gave into him while allowing him to take control and heard him groan after  resting his head against my chest and squeeze my arms.

I knew what had just done would have consequences but I didn't care at this point, We were meant to be together and I believe the others were hoping for it.

I let out a soft moan while he was leaving a trail of kisses from my shoulder to my neck...I gently wrapped my arms around his neck and begun kissing his lips, he pulled away long to say those words I longed to hear since I had been here

Jaxx: I love you Kaia...

Kaia: I love you too Jaxx...

And I did even though part of me still wanted him to be with someone else despite me just giving myself to him in a way that a couple that love each other would do, I didn't want him waiting for me anymore but I also didn't want to hurt him.